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“PERHAPS I’m unique because people are so dull. I'm not very good at being dull”
“Whatever makes people happy they should just do it . . . ’cos time is a mere scratch, and life is nothing”
“Eric Clapton is admired, but who could love him? His own mother, perhaps”
“The sorrow of the Brighton bombing is that Thatcher escaped unhurt”
“I don’t feel anti-American, just reasonably intelligent”
“I wish that Prince Charles had been shot. I think it would have made the world a more interesting place”
“The Smiths happened because I had walked home in the rain once too often”
“I don’t think black people and white people will ever really get on”
“Sex is a waste of batteries”
“I always thought my genitals were the result of some practical joke”
“Life would be so colourful if only I had a drink problem”
“Rave is the refuge for the mentally deficient. It’s made by dull people for dull people”
“Admiring me, shall we say, is quite a task. Because if you say you like Morrissey you have to explain why”
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