PETE: You know all those columns that tell you how important it is, in a relationship, to “keep the magic alive”?

CAITLIN: Yes?

PETE: Do you think we’re doing that? Sitting here in Starbucks, with our laptops and our headphones? Listening to the Crazy Frog Presents Crazy Hits album? Because I have to say, I’m feeling that this might be a bit of an all-time low.

CAITLIN (turning round and revealing that she’s wearing a leather flying helmet, goggles and a giant pair of bulgy eyes): What are you talking about? The Crazy Frog is abadinga dingdingding brrrbrrrBRRRilliant!

PETE (sighing): So can we just establish the conceit at issue here, one more time — just in case I missed something? There’s this frog. From Belgium . . .

CAITLIN: Sweden, actually. . .

PETE: Sorry, Sweden. And he’s crazy?

CAITLIN (clutching her headphones in joy): Oh, he just said: “I am the Crazy Frog!” in his crazy voice! Hahaha! That’s funny!

PETE: And now he’s made an album.

CAITLIN (still clutching her headphones with joy): And it has got his smash hit abadingdingdingdingdingle on it — Axel F! Current worldwide gross: $19 million! To which I have contributed: £3! (Caitlin’s phone rings. The ringtone is Axel F. Caitlin does the Crazy Frog dance. Pete dourly turns the phone off.)

PETE: I hate the Crazy Frog. To me, he’s the Tedious Frog.

CAITLIN (ceasing her Crazy dance): I’m finding you hard to fathom here. You have drawn an almost wholly arbitrary line in the novelty-record sand when it comes to the Frog. I mean, you have loads of novelty records.

PETE: Yes, but as with any genre, there are good ones and entirely odious and repellent ones.