Attend a special evening hosted by Mike Atherton

AWAY TEAM selected by Tim Marlow
Three Spaniards would feature in most critics’ all-time world team — Picasso, Goya and Velázquez. But Spain’s problems have always been consistency and infighting. The core of the Spanish game is devotion to the cause, and Zurbarán, Murillo and El Greco would play with a zeal not seen since the Inquisition.
Spain has also pioneered the two great attacking styles of the 20th century — the Cubist and Surrealist formations. The key to beating the English is to meld the styles and ensure that Jake and Dinos Chapman don’t do a man-for-man marking job on Goya.
Fan reaction will be interesting. If the crowds don’t sing “Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole” (as Jonathan Richman did) it may signal universal respect for a master, but Salvador Dalí tends to draw a cynical reaction from the spectators — with taunts inspired by his famous work The Great Masturbator.
Tim Marlow is an art critic, TV presenter and director of exhibitions at White Cube
GOALKEEPER Eduardo Chillida
Iron man who actually did play in goal for San Sebastián. Few keepers have dominated the box like the big Basque abstract sculptor.
LEFT BACK Bartolomé Murillo
A Baroque-like presence in defence. Also a fluid dribbler whose so-called “vaporous” style has led to conflict with myopic linesmen.
CENTRAL DEFENCE Francisco de Zurbarán
A religious painter seen by some as a loner but his team-mates respect his devotion and calmness.
RIGHT BACK El Greco Great exponent of the elongated ball game, with a vision few have matched. Born in Crete but qualifies after a long stint in Toledo.
LEFT WING Francisco Goya
Creative genius with more vision than anyone. As his dark works imply, seems to be drawn inextricably to violence.
CENTRAL DEFENDER Santiago Sierra
Photographer and artist puts the animal into Minimalism. His team-mates love his playful interventions.
CENTRAL MIDFIELD Juan Miró
Dynamic, sublime and occasionally surreal, he covers all areas of the field with his colourful touches.
CENTRAL MIDFIELD Pablo Picasso
An amazing mix of bullish energy and classical technique; can seem to have eyes in the back of his head.
RIGHT WING Salvador Dalí
An arrogant, self-obsessed showman who always plays to the crowd. Time seems to melt when he’s on the ball.
STRIKER Juan Muñoz
Spent much of his career selling elaborate dummies, and generally unsettling spectators. A constant risk-taker.
STRIKER Cristina Iglesias
Great partnership with Muñoz (they were married). A consummate maker of labyrinths, mazes and odd spaces. Good for corners.
MANAGER Diego Velázquez
He raised the status of the painter to the equal of princes. In a team where ego runs rife, he has the respect of all his players.
HOME TEAM seleceted by Peter Blake
I am limiting my team to living artists, and assume ladies aren’t allowed, though I have chosen a female manager. In my women’s team Tracey Emin would be centre forward, and Rachel Whiteread a safe goalkeeper. A team of British artists from all time could be interesting. Everyone would be at the optimum age, and at their best fighting weight. Hogarth was working class and strong. Stanley Spencer would have made a great centre forward: speedy and light. Each artist below is distinguished in his field. And probably rather a good footballer.
As a kid I was outside right, but I’m rather disenchanted with players today — all those daft things they do like taking their shirts off, kissing and falling down. When I used to watch, after scoring a goal, the player would jog back up the field and shake his team-mates’ hands.
GOALKEEPER Marc Quinn
A safe pair of hands, as his Trafalgar Square sculpture shows. Also light on his feet, and I would guess, with a good strong kick.
LEFT BACK Frank Auerbach
Like Kossoff on his right, Auerbach is a solid crafstman, using heavy impasto techniques to extremely good effect.
RIGHT BACK Leon Kossoff
Tactically paired up with Auerbach. Each has known the other a long time and would anticipate what the other might do.
LEFT HALF Gavin Turk
If he can make a statue of himself as Sid Vicious (in the stance of Elvis), then he could do a passable imitation of Vinnie Jones.
CENTRE HALF Damien Hirst
A leader of men, Hirst is my captain. He would marshal his team well and feed his forwards firmly and with vision.
RIGHT HALF Gary Hume
His early pictures were of doors and he would close the door on the opposing team. Like Gavin Turk, an intelligent player.
INSIDE RIGHT Antony Gormley
Very tall, he would be a good header of the ball, and the team’s leading goal-scorer. My team’s Peter Crouch!
OUTSIDE LEFT Don Brown
A young sculptor who gained fame for making works depicting his Japanese wife, his light touch should make him a perfect foil for Freud.
OUTSIDE RIGHT Lucian Freud
Not an obvious match for the mercurial Brown, but Freud is a great crosser of the ball in the mould of the great Stanley Matthews.
INSIDE LEFT Richard Deacon
A creator of strong, muscular sculptures. Burly and strong himself, he takes the free kicks. Bend it like Deacon!
CENTRE FORWARD Jason Brooks
This rangy young painter is a true athlete. If my team ever plays a team of critics, he could take Brian Sewell out.
MANAGER Tracey Emin
Determined, decisive, intelligent — her language at practice sessions might get colourful. As headline-friendly as Sven.
HOW TO ENTER
To enter this week, tell us which visual arts nation would win: Spain or England?
Please include the words Spain or England in the e-mail subject line.
Send the answer, your name, address, e-mail address and daytime telephone number to entertainment@timesonline.co.uk.
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