Director: Brett Ratner, US, 12A, 104min
Stars: Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman

On general release

Feeling disappointed and slightly repulsed by the mainstream movie industry’s unthinking veneration of comic books? Well, X-Men: The Last Stand is the perfect antidote to the mutant aberration that comic-book movies have become. Unlike V for Vendetta and Batman Begins, here is a superhero movie of modest running time that doesn’t treat its source material like a cross between Ulysses and the Koran.

Instead, Ratner’s movie bounces along with a truly juvenile joie de vivre. It busily introduces dinky new characters (Shadowcat) and ties up previous narrative strands, yet still forges ahead with its own storyline. Here, a government- controlled genetic serum is transforming spandex-clad super-folk into mere mortals. Magneto (McKellen) is furious, while Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart) is kind of ambivalent. The telekinetic superbabe Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), meanwhile, is slowly turning into a giant ball of anti- matter, and a big effects- filled final reel beckons.

Of course, this is all deeply stupid. The narrative is full of irrationalities — why take a boat to Alcatraz when you can tear the Golden Gate Bridge from its foundations and walk over instead? The dialogue is beyond camp: “Sometimes when you cage the beast, the beast gets angry!” And no amount of sociopolitical subtext can dignify the sight of a grown man dressed up in a fluffy blue suit and calling himself Beast (Kelsey Grammer). The comic- obsessed Geek Mafia, naturally, won’t be impressed with this shamefully enjoyable kitsch-fest. But what do they know?