Enter our Snapshots of Summer photography competition

“ALMOST EVERY DAY I GO FOR A RUN down the bemerded pavements of North London,” Boris Johnson declared, announcing his candidature for London Mayor. Bemerded? We knew that he must mean fouled by dogs, but the word brought the reader up short for a moment, just as Johnson intended.
The word “bemerded” does not appear in the OED. Run it through Google and you get just 264 hits, most of them related to Boris himself, and the inquiry “Did you mean: bearded?” “Bemerded” appears in a translation of Rabelais, in a play by the weird occultist Aleister Crowley and a recent article by Christopher Hitchens. It has appeared in The Times only once in 222 years, as far as I can ascertain digitally, in a theatre review by Irving Wardle in 1989. Will Self managed to use it in 2001 when discussing the possible links between childlessness and avant-garde anomie: “It is hard to maintain the ultimate futility and purposeless of existence when you’re confronting a packet of wet ones and bemerded little bum.” That familiar old Nietzsche and the Nappies theory.
But mostly “bemerded” is a word that Boris has made his own. He has used it to describe the streets of Brussels, the streets of England, the streets of Islington and the Oxford cell floor where he spent the night after an evening boozing with the Bullingdon Club. And he was going to get it into his first official statement as mayoral candidate by hook or by crook. Rightly, for bemerded is his signature word, being at once slightly risqué in an antique way, gently self-mocking, and also rather clever.
Everyone should have a signature word.
For some years, mine was “gallowglass”, a word derived from Gallóglaigh, the ancient mercenary warrior élite of western Scotland. Military chiefs in medieval times would hire a gallowglass to act as an aide and bodyguard, to do his dirty work: as a Scottish outsider, the gallowglass could operate above local feuds with impunity. All powerful men need a gallowglass: Alastair Campbell was Tony Blair’s gallowglass; Karl Rove was George W. Bush’s.
words is going on to use them in everyday conversation,” writes Christopher Foyle, in the introduction to Foyle’s Philavery: A Treasury of Unusual Words. A philavery is “an idiosyncratic collection of uncommon and pleasing words”, and few are better placed to be philaverists (I think I may have made that one up) than Foyle, the third generation of his family to operate Foyle’s bookshop in Charing Cross Road.
Foyle’s collection is splendidly bizarre, running from “abacinate”, meaning “to blind someone by putting red hot metal before their eyes” (the only recorded use of which is the lyrics of the 1986 song Angel of Death by the American thrash metal band Slayer) to “zoonist”, “someone who believes that nature as whole or natural objects are living beings”.
It was General Norman Schwarzkopf, of all people, who inspired Foyle’s philavery. In the course of the first Gulf War, the US commander referred to some doubtful intelligence as “bovine scatology” – as a sensitive killing machine he could not bring himself to deploy the word bullshit. “From then on,” writes Foyle, “I started to make a note of any word I came across that I was unfamiliar with.” Actually, Schwarzkopf’s circumlocution is, in my opinion, the very opposite of a collectible word, since it seeks to make a simple term deliberately obscure. The best unusual words are those that say something in a new, evocative or colourful way.
“Crepuscular” (relating to twilight) is a good example of a little-used but most useful word: no other evokes so pleasingly the magical quality of light at dusk, although the Scottish word “gloaming” comes close. There is also a wonderful Hindi expression hawa khana, which means “breathing the air”, the moment at the end of a long, hot day when the earth exhales.
Foyle is particularly good on the subclass of unlikely words that sound as if they ought to be filthy and are not: futtock (one of the carved timbers that forms a rib in a wooden ship’s frame), inspissate (to thicken, condense), formication (the sensation, usually hallucinatory, that insects or snakes are crawling over the skin) and aprosexia (an abnormal inability to pay attention) – a condition from which I have been a lifelong sufferer.
The reverse type – words that sound neutral, even scientific, but turn out to be quite rude – are also to be treasured, such as lupanarian (pertaining to a brothel) and callipygian, a most beautiful term meaning to have a finely developed and well-proportioned bottom.
There is a tendency in public discourse to avoid uncommon words, for fear that they will sound pretentious. George Orwell’s prescription on writing simply has evolved into a refusal to write anything beyond the ken of the spell-checker, while politicians stick firmly to the well-trodden paths of vocabulary.
But before we hail Boris as the first political philaverist of modern times, let us pay tribute to John Prescott, who did not merely use words nobody else understood, but invented an entire language of his own.

Win a luxury weekend to Newcastle and its neighbour Gateshead, find out more here
Risk, resilience and embracing new technology
Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Discover the collective power of smart thinking. Submit a solution and be in with a chance to win a Flip MinoHD Camcorder
The inside track on current trends in the charity, not for profit and social enterprise sectors
Everything the Business Traveller needs to know to make a better trip
Make the most of the summer and enter our fabulous photographic competition, you could win a £5000 holiday
Corsica is an island of beauty and contrast, an ideal holiday destination
Enjoy further reading from Travel to Fashion, Business to Sport, discover more
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
The clever way to lease a new car is with Car leasing made simple™
2009
42,945
2008
71,450
Car Insurance
Not Specified
MI6
UK-based
£60,000
The Environment Agency
Bristol
Up to £90K
Boots
Midlands
OTE £85k
Credit Protection Association
Nationwide Opportunities
Completely London
Luxury Condo's in Manhattan with NYC views
The best new homes in Wimbledon?
Nationwide
Save up to £1,000 per couple with Elite Vacations at the five-star Constance Lemuria Resort
and do the British Isles this Summer.
Save up to 60% with Oxford Hotels and Inns
Try our inspiring luxury holidays to the Indian Subcontinent and South East Asia.
Great offers available
8 fabulous Canadian cities ...you won’t find cheaper
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths | Subscriptions | E-paper
News International associated websites: Globrix Property Search | Property Finder | Milkround
Copyright 2009 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.
How can you write about the use of unusual/strange/obscure words without mentioning Conrad Black? He tosses them off like popcorn popping. His books are larded with them.
Jae, Thunder Bay, ON Canada
The metaphor "It is hard to maintain the ultimate futility and purposeless of ....." seems to me to be a polite way of saying; "When you are up to your asshole in alligators, it is difficult to remember that the object of the exercise is to drain the swamp".
I prefer the latter because, notwithstanding its crudity, everybody can understand it - in the same way that here in Denmark, the name for diabetes is "sukker sygedom" - sugar sickness.
Nowadays, too often people use some high-faluting term to describe everyday things, usually to show how clever they are, or, if they are spin-doctors, to obfuscate.
While I am complaining I suppose I should mention that I also despise "insightful" when people mean "perceptive", and the abomination "operationalize" for "deploy". Other things that irritate me are the redundant "do", as in "do tell me..." -very twee, and the grossly over-used "period of time" - I haven't found any other kinds of period - even for menstruation.
Good article.
Alan D. James, Aalborg, Denmark
Loved this article.
Sam, Montreal, Canada
this is a fantastic article
ben dreyfuss, new york, us