Chivalry is not dead. It’s just been keeping its head down for a bit. And who
can blame it when the line between courtliness and condescension has become
so blurred?
A damsel, however, need not be in distress to enjoy a considerate gesture.
You’re not required to spread your cloak for your mistress’s dainty feet, but
she won’t feel remotely undermined if you help carry the shopping. Strike
the right note and both of you should benefit from your knightly services.
THE MAN YOU ARE
Stress is not sexy. There’s a certain kind of man who uses stress as a measure
of self-worth (“look how many people want a piece of me”), and he’s not the
man we’re after.
Clutching your forehead every time your BlackBerry bleeps does not mark you
out as an alpha male; it makes you look like a salary monkey on a short
leash. Nothing is more impressive, in our time-poor era, than the man with
time and attention to spare for others.
An air of ease, natural or cultivated, can be a killer advantage.
The easy-mannered man appears to be in control in any situation. This should
not be confused with a controlling personality. Our 21st-century knight
knows how to get things done his way without huffing, hectoring or
“do-you-know-who-I-am?” arrogance. He displays the kind of social confidence
that puts other people at their ease, and a physical confidence that has
nothing to do with macho posturing. You feel that if push came to shove, he
could slay dragons or, at the very least, see off a mugger, but pushing and
shoving really isn’t his style.
Above all, the chivalrous man is a grown-up.
THE BASICS
Just as men subconsciously prefer women whose waist-to-hip ratio bodes well
for childbearing, we recognise that a man who has been “nicely brought up”
will be a better father to any future offspring. Rough and ready Heathcliff
types were fine as a teenage fantasy; in the adult world, however, they are
an embarrassing liability.
The basics should be automatic. “Please” and “thank you” are not optional.
Punctuality is important. Perpetually running late does not mark you out as
either a very busy (for which read unbelievably important) person or an
insouciant maverick. It exposes you as an arrogant incompetent who thinks
that his time is more valuable than other people’s.
Ditto the increasingly common and irritating habit of making and taking
endless mobile phone calls, text messages and BlackBerry messages while out
in company. You may think this makes you look popular. We think it makes you
look like a techno-nerd who can’t organise his life. It also suggests to us
that you don’t think we are very important.
Respect for elders is nonnegotiable, whether the elders in question are your
parents, our parents or strangers. We’re more impressed when you offer an
old person your seat on the bus or train than when you offer it to us (same
goes for bag-carrying and door holding, etc).
Similarly, we love it when you make an effort with children. You don’t have to
come over like a Blue Peter presenter – just show a genuine
interest in their concerns.
STREET MANNERS
Yes, we do know how confusing it is for modern men. We’re just not sure why
it’s so confusing. We’ve heard the spluttered arguments about how we want
equality one minute and chivalry the next but, darlings, it’s really not so
difficult. We enjoy being treated like a lady, but we don’t want to be
patronised. Remember this important distinction and you won’t go far wrong.
Most women, these days, recognise that the benefits of feminism will not
evaporate like faery gold if a man holds the door for us. The door thing,
frankly, is not a deal-breaker. Just don’t make a huge production out of it
(the loud “Ladies first” exclamation is unnecessary, annoying and reminds us
of a halitotic old schoolmaster).
On the street there are practical reasons – more to do with mud from the
wheels of messenger bikes than impromptu sword fights – why a man should
walk on the kerbside of the pavement. When this is not easily achieved, we’d
rather take our chances than find you dancing around us in awkward circles.
We don’t need a guiding hand in the small of the back as we cross the big,
dangerous road, but a friendly, shepherding arm may be appreciated in dense
and rowdy crowds. There is nothing at all untoward in helping us on with our
coats, as long as it’s done with confidence and helps rather than hinders
us. Just don’t – unless the friendship has already progressed well beyond
outdoor clothes – start smoothing down the lapels and tucking in our scarves.
The real skill lies in knowing where to stop. Standing up for introductions
and goodbyes is basic good manners. Bobbing up and down every time we leave
or enter a room soon becomes farcical.
Remember, your main aim is to increase your companion’s comfort. If you chance
upon a woman who sincerely objects to “sexist” gestures, you should give in
gracefully and without comment. Insist, and the advantage is lost.
FLIRTING
Good flirts can’t help themselves. They flirt with everyone. It’s not so much
a seduction technique as a form of chivalry; a refined politesse designed to
make the other person feel good. Bad flirts have quite the opposite effect.
Non-sexual flirting is a powerful social and professional tool, but it should
never be a transparent attempt at self-advance-ment. Nor should it come over
as a performance. You are not setting out to be charming, you are setting
out to be charmed. If you’re evidently taken by a new acquaintance, they’ll
mark you down as a person of good judgment and all kinds of advantages will
accrue. But this kind of flirting must be evenhanded. If you are obviously
more impressed by the younger, prettier or more influential women in the
company, you will appear merely creepy. Remember that social/professional
flirting is a mind-game. Physical attentions are intrusive and
inappropriate; in the work-place they are also illegal. So keep it light and
cerebral.
If, on the other hand, you’re genuinely looking to “score” with a member of
the opposite sex, you need to narrow your focus. The object of your
affections needs to know she’s special, so cut back – at least in the
opening stages – on compliments to mothers, sisters or best friends.
Romantic flirting is all about frisson management – an intimation (and no
more) of physical closeness. Holding a look just a heartbeat longer than is
usual in everyday polite conversation, a light touch on the hand or arm (not
the knee as it makes you look like a lecherous uncle) or an “accidental”
brushing of shoulders or arms are proven means of testing the waters.
If the lady freezes, back off. At this stage, only you and she know of the
attempt and you can retire from the field, dignity intact. Persist and you
risk a public brush-off, as well as an unhelpful reputation as a sex pest.
THE PROPOSITION
No woman ever thought badly of a man for asking her out on a date. Even if she
declines the invitation, she will be disinclined, for reasons of personal
vanity, to write you off as a desperate loser.
So go for it. You should not be shocked, in these modern times, if the woman
does the asking, but it makes sense – particularly if she has made her
liking for you obvious – to seize the manly initiative and get in first.
Arranging a first date by text or e-mail may seem casual to the point of
cop-out.
Sometimes it is the most practical method, but techno-invites need to work
harder on “tone” to maintain the sense of occasion. “R U UP 4 IT?” lacks
romance.
Whether making arrangements face to face or by telephone, come straight to the
point. “Would you like to go out with me some time?” sounds too much like a
sweaty-palmed teenager. “Would you like to have dinner with me on Thursday?”
makes you sound like a man with a plan and leaves room for a graceful
get-out (Thursday may be the very night she does Pilates, visits her mother
or washes her hair). If there’s a genuine diary clash and she does want to
go out with you, she will make this clear. You can then make arrangements
for another evening.
There is nothing nerdy in turning up early for a first date, particularly
since your companion will know about it only if she’s early too. We’ll see
it as a good sign if you’re there waiting for us – it is distinctly
unchivalrous to keep a lady waiting alone in a public place.
If you are unavoidably late – we’re talking “acts of God” here, not a careless
attitude of “things dragging on a bit” at work – call ahead (never text) and
let her know. She will want to know if you’re talking about minutes or hours
– a bald “I’m running late” provides her with no indication of how long
she’ll have to wait.
Half an hour is about the maximum amount of time you can expect us to wait; a
quarter of an hour is not a capital offence, but still requires apology.
There is no excuse, bar hospitalisation or family crisis, for cancelling on
the day of the date. It is unforgivable to stand a woman up. A phone call,
however abject, does not meet the case; we may not even pick up. A bunch of
flowers delivered the next morning may just secure a second chance. But make
it a big one.
MONEY
“Going Dutch” on a date is never an option – not even, one imagines, in
Holland. Splitting the bill is fair and modern in principle, but in practice
you may as well write “I never ever want to see you again” in letters of
fire across the night sky.
At the beginning of a relationship, it is widely accepted that the person who
issues the invitation picks up the tab. If you have been invited out by a
woman, you might still offer to pay, but concede the privilege if she says
“no” and means it.
GOOD TALK
Women like to talk more – or at least talk about more – than men. This can
make conversation between the sexes tricky. Men, on the whole, are
interested in the general exchange of information. Women – not all women,
but enough women – will sift each sentence for subtext.
You say: “That restaurant is always full of screaming kids.” We hear: “On no
account get emotionally attached to me as I am a dyed-in-the-wool
commitment-phobe who will never, ever want to settle down and have babies
with you.” You say: “That dress really shows off your figure.” We hear:
“Dear God! What kind of whorish get-up is she wearing?” And so it goes on .
. . It’s nobody’s fault; it’s really just the way women are programmed. And
it’s also why eye contact is crucial in any kind of verbal seduction. To
make us feel comfortable while we chat, your eyes need to beam full
approval. If it’s clear from your reactions that you are also listening to
what we are actually saying, then it’s an incalculable bonus.
What we say, will, in all probability, be on the abstract side –
hopes/dreams/interests/fears. You will, naturally, wish to counter this talk
with accounts of contracts won and penalties scored. You will assume that,
because we keep on asking questions (in the dogged hope of establishing
emotional contact), we are enthralled by everything you say. If we fancy
you, we won’t terribly mind. If, on the other hand, that deal has yet to be
clinched, there are certain steps you can take to turn conversation to your
advantage.
First, you need to set a timer in your head. If you have been talking about
yourself for more than ten minutes, then it’s time to switch roles and ask
some interested questions about your companion. Secondly, you need to listen
to the answers. Listening well means remembering what we say and then using
this information at a later juncture.
Watch closely to see which subjects engage and animate us the most and keep
these topics well shuffled and ready to play. Find a way of making it clear
that you admire our ideas and opinions just as much as our décolletage
(talking to our face, not our chest, is the ideal starting point). Should
you run into an emotional/ ideological impasse, laughter is your “get out of
jail free” card. Just don’t make every joke an evasion technique. In fact,
go easy on jokes per se. Aim for more female-friendly observational humour
whenever possible.
Don’t be afraid of short natural lulls. There’s nothing like a pause in
conversation – no longer than a heartbeat – to crank up the erotic charge,
particularly if accompanied by some meaningful eye contact. Too much silent
staring, however, will scare us and if you overdo the “companionable
silence” at the beginning of the relationship we assume you are bored.
Remember, a woman in love will forgive just about anything you say. It’s
what you don’t say that spooks us.
©Debrett’s Limited 2007.
Extracted from Manners for Men: What Women Really Want by E. Jane
Dickson published by Debrett’s, £12.99. Available from Times BooksFirst for
£11.69, free P&P. 0870 1608080, timesonline.co.uk/booksfirst
One senses from this article that "modern" women are getting hard up and indeed are getting worried. Replete with the double-speak of female fantasy ; the spoilt little girl, averse to criticism, enjoying masculine privileges AND feminine advantages, who "wants the package" - whilst still dictating expectations of how men should be in this hypocritical, soul-destroying society of spectacle and the culture of narcissism that advocates, approves and admires, not caring human beings but, "winners". Feminism has not worked to woman's advantage ; for the dialectic of "liberation/emancipation/equality" excludes appeasement, conciliation and complimentarity with the masculine gender in the process. The reality is that the "macho/metro/material" male is a mistake. Paradoxically many a "wimp" can offer respect, responsibility and fidelity. For loving is feeling from the heart ( intelligence, commitment and giving of self ) ; rather than any "social/professional mind-game" .
Jeffrey Moore, Toulouse, France
Any guy that follows the recommendations in this article will find plenty of Saturday nights alone - save for the girl who drops round with a bottle of wine to cry on his shoulder over the loss of her latest boyfriend, the hunk. And there's no action there either - she will secretly suspect that he is gay.
I once went to a dinner after a bad day at work - I dealt out sarcasm left, right and centre and savaged most people there. By the end of the evening I was calmer and felt embarassed at what I had said - but one women who had never previously even acknowledged my existence was positively cooing. Face it. Most women regard manners as a sign of weakness - and that applies to any age. 16 or 60.
Michael, Berkhamsted, Herts
I don't know,, seems to me, that a man that has been properly raised; does all of this already. I suppose I would have to agree with David. All that is accomplished with this sort of article, is the comaflageing of jerks. Women now have to wonder if the guy they are interesting in is really a man of good quality or one who has learned how to fake it through a date.
Good luck ladies, there really are proper men out here. If your lucky enough to come across one of us, keep us. lol
Q, Ft. Worth, Texas
I'm female, and I think this article was fun to read, but a little over the top. I also have to look up what chivalry is again, because I didn't see much mention of what I thought it was in this piece. Furthermore - men, this is not how all women are. Take it from the the fella in Tennessee - just get to know your woman and remember what you know, and you should be good to go. I also don't like the whole feminism thing. I'll have to look that up too.
mimi, orange county, california
There must be some appreciable differences across the big pond. But what are they?
Bill Costley, Santa Clara, CA usa
My "momma" raised me to be a gentleman... Opening doors for ladies, pulling our the chair for a lady at dinner, etc. The problem here is the stipulation of having a lady to perform these actions for. Seems like whenever I hold the door for a random woman at the convenience store I can't get so much as a smile, let alone a "Thank you!" out of her. Very discouraging.
Women... If you want your men to be gentlemen, try to reciprocate by being ladies.
Michael B., San Diego, CA
"Honestly you make this all far too complicated... " -- I don't think so; I think the vast majority of women today (and by women I mean 'women', not 'girls'), at least women in the US, are fairly well described herein by Ms. Dickson. Most of the information in the article, of course, can be gleaned by attentive men through trial and error, anecdotal evidence, heresay, visions, tea leaves, and the myriad other ways we learn about women by the time we're 40; the primary strength of the article, in my opinion, is that it contains a substantial amount of this critical information all in one place, where a 20 year old with his life in front of him can learn how to make the jump from dating girls to dating women. At the end of the day, some girls never grow up, and they just stay girls. The ones that grow up and become women, though, are some of the most mysterious individuals on Earth. Men, of course, never grow up. Armed with the knowledge in this article, however, you can appear that way.
Sean, Nashville, TN
As a young woman who works in the City surrounded by men I would greatly appreciate it if all men were indoctrinated by Dickson. There is a fine line between thoughtfulness and lecherousness. And men seem frightfully confused when they are faced with an intelligent, attractive and strong-minded women. They are not sure whether to call you 'doll', pat you on the bum or just kowtow with nerves.
However, there is a fatal flaw in the article. E. Jane DIckson writes: "Above all, the chivalrous man is a grown-up." As all women know - that is an oxymoron - there is no such thing as a grown up man.
KP, London,
"Listening well" to a man means catching every fourth or fifth sentence of her evening-long talking jag, while trying think of something else to stay awake.
TSI, Atlanta, US
Well, I suppose if you have to sell something, a book is better than snake oil. However it's a unfortunate how you have to infantilize women the way you do. You make it sound like men need to walk on egg shells around this timid and sensitive creature that is woman. Personally, I respect women a little more than that.
JG, London, Canada
Blimey!! Is this Lady for real, some people just take them selves a little to seriously.
Mark Wakeling, London, England
The bad news is, Jane, nobody cares anymore. Chivalry is long dead.
It really is incredible that people are still peddling this kind of nonsense.
Harry K., Tokyo, Japan
"Because we're worth it"
No, you're really not. Stop the high maintenance shenanigans.
Adam, Burnley, Lancashire
I look forward to trying some of these finely balanced techniques out on a lady. But do any exist these days?
Darren, Brighton,
Total hyprocrisy. How dare you tell men how to be chivalrous. Chivalry is dead because women made men feel like dirt and you expect us to be chivalrous on your terms. I think not.
gowest, Sydney, Australia
Please make this book required reading for every
16 year old teenager, it should be part of the
all education.
And 70% of male/ female misunderstandings would just go!
David Vinter, Louth, Lincs., UK.
Yeh, great..
Nothing can put any decent, considerate guy's mind to ease more than a great big list of dubiously contradictory laws on how women MUST be treated, and how this guy must present himself.
Upon reading these types of articles, I'm always tempted to ask my female friends - so if this is the case, what then is the female expected to do for the male in return? Or is it woman's prerogative to simply choose.
For guys reading this - it means that yes, you have just as much choice in the matter. Chivalry or no chivalry.
Personally, I enjoy being chivalrous. To a degree.
For girls reading this - Is it explicitly against the 'rules' to open the door for your date once in a while?
The best relationships are based on an equal respect of companionship.
Like poster #2 said - let nature take its course, rather than pander to a date/partner who takes more than they give, and would actually discredit you for not abiding by their rules of engagement.
Aaron, Sydney,
If women in the UK want to be treated with chivalry then maybe they should act like women instead of ladettes.
Btw, in the Netherlands people do go Dutch because the women are confident enough in themselves to do so.
Michael, London,
Loved it!
Shaun, Newcastle, Tyne and wear
The author says that younger women prefer rough and ready Heathcliffe types, before larruping on about how to pander to the high maintenance needs of ageing single women.
I have no use for an ageing single woman, so I'll stick to the rough and ready ways the younger ones prefer. Thanks Jane for the confirming that my way was right all along.
Redcliffe, London,
So to sum up a longwinded article, pay attention and don't be a jerk, if you can't do that already not sure this article will help.
Marlow, springfield,
It takes more than a list of guidelines to change a weak man to a confident man. I tried coaching a friend once, he did what he was told but his insecurity showed through. You can't fake confidence, you have to get it the hard way.
Trevor, Rialto, Calif.
Dilbert: "Do you mind if I gawk at every other woman in the restaurant?"
Dilbert's date: "Not if you don't mind my talking incessantly about people you've never met."
Frank Upton, Solihull,
This is stupid. It's as if she's spelling out to men how to manipulate women - not that the rules could ever be met in its entirety, by any means. Whatever happened to BEING YOURSELF? Why would you want someone to put up a fake persona during a date and not know if that is who the person really is? I say, if you're a jerk, be yourself and let us know before we're tricked and betrayed. If you're a gentleman, you won't need any coaching and we will see it.
Jen, Haha, US
oh! No wonder guys get so confused. There are times when I think I'd trade the feminist movement just so I could understand and be comfortable with a guy on a date.
Elle,, Houston, Tx
Typical modern woman mindset.
"Because we are worth it"
.........
6 pages of a typical soap opera magazine (female written porn) explaining why "Women Love The Plumber from Desperate house wives. And why all men should be like him"
..........
ZERO discussion of "why women are worth it"
Hint to women: Explain why you are worth it, or at least write into the marriage contract that you are going to look as good as teri hatcher does at 40.
B Saville, Chicago,
would be very interested to read a similar article giving advice to women in male company.
bruce, cereste, france
Oh deary me, the poor man that ends up with the author of the article. She will be very hard work and a nightmare to please. I pity the fool. . .
David H, Belfast, Antrim
Formulaic approaches don't work.
Women often mistake arrogant prats for confident men; the early part of the article could be summarized as "Be confident"... except confident men already know they are. Those lacking confidence can't fake it without explicit instructions.
Which you just gave them. So now women have to find another way to sift the dross from the gems, because you're printing up a step-by-step manual on "How To Get Around Being A Good Mate" instead of letting natural selection eliminate the jerks and allow the better men to be considered.
Nice work. Except, you know, not.
Kendrick, Austin, Texas
Make sure you make eye contact but not too much eye contact, make sure you pay the bill unless she is paying the bill and really wants to... you just need read her mind when she says "I got it" and know that it's a lie. Yeah I'm with Alex... relax and enjoy your date.
J, Rochester , NY
Let me write this down.....
Okay, thanks for all the commands, conditions and orders. The next time I have a date, I'll review your requests, Ma'am.
Hope you're saving up for a new cat and a hysterectomy when you hit middle age.
Parson, San Diego, California, USA
Interestingly over complicated.
Tear up the dance cards.
Matthews, Dartford, UK
If a man were to write how to be a woman to please men it would be branded as sexist. What a double standard.
DB, rocklin, CA
Chivalry IS dead.
It was killed by feminism.
Not even Dr. Frankenstein could electrify the corpse back to life.
This article is a classic attempt at "have your cake and eat it too."
KS, League City, TX USA
I think this article is a wonderful bit of advice. I don't see it as a list of rules, just guidelines to help a guy find his footing. I know my significant other has admitted (well into the relationship) that he started out unsure of what exactly he should say or do without running the risk of being inadvertently foolish or disrespectful.
Many men would kill for an instruction manual, and honestly any advice may help along those who are shy, uncertain, or just lacking in understanding of why women think or act the way they do.
Jane, Beaumond, Kansas
Sifting subtext. Almost all the problems in my current relationship stem from this. I cant even let a complimentary sentence leave my mouth without me me over analyzing it to ensure that there are no negative conotations that I somehow magically infer. Drives me nuts. Women need to accept that the larger majority of men mean what they say and there are no underlying comments appended. Also this set of rules is way to long and will screw up any chance you have of ever finding someone that can deal with you and vice versa. Life is not a show why should we pretend, playing tea time ended when you were a child.
The observer, toronto,
how about just pay attention to your girl and u will know whats up- you are trivializing idiosyncrasies that oftentime make up a good portion of ''just the little things'' that help and maintain attraction between couples, all in the name of being PC or progressively kosher
jeremy, bristol , tennessee
This article seems to imply that women: only like to talk about fluffy insubstantial nonsense (fashion, astrology and cod-psychology); have no interest in what men have to say; are only interested in marriage and babies; enjoy playing "gotcha" with everything that a man says or does, just so they can lord it over them and convince them that working their guts out in the office is infinitely better than spending an evening alone with some sharp tongued shrew who will only make out with you if the pay cheque is big enough and when they want to procreate.
As for wimpish men things like love, family security and companionship - forget it.
If my inference is correct then I suspect the women who buy this book (no man will unless it has a car or a naked "bird" on the front) will remain single a lot longer than those who choose a copy of Mrs Beeton's good housekeeping. As for men - skip the book no matter what's on the cover, buy the girl a bunch of flowers and smile occasionally.
Huw Sayer, Norwich, England
Sweetheart, life is so short. Try getting over yourself; it makes life so much more pleasant, especially for the guy who's just trying to enjoy an evening out with you.
For that emotional subtext thing, here's a good rule of thumb: if something he said could be interpreted two ways, and one of those ways makes you angry or sad, he meant the other one. Unless his voice is raised, and/or he's calling you a bitch, chances are he wants you to feel good about the evening.
But you do make a great point about the Blackberry/Cellphone issue. Guys, unless you're an organ transplant surgeon or candidate, the e-mail and calls coming in probably aren't terribly urgent. Turn the tether off for a couple hours, OK? (Unless you're expecting a txt from your best friend that your wife is on her way over, in which case, checking your phone during the date is probably the least of your worries.
Hiram Q. Pustule, Eagan, MN
Hand this article to the clueless oaf trying to im(de)press you..
M.S., Galway, ireland
So you want men to act with some weird modern form of deference towards women?
How about women show a little of the courtesy they seem to expect naturally from men.
Dan, London,
Chivalry IS dead. Feminism killed it off. Women traded chivalry for sexual equality. No going back now.
Women act like ladies these days, so I'm not going to treat them like ladies.
Edward, Leeds, England
This is fantastic, the best article I have read in a long time... And my boyfriend is the one that passed it along! Now, if he would only read it...
Michelle, Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Common sense isn't it?
Nick Smith, Cardiff, UK
I dunno - Maybe some of you lot out there are all wordly wise at this, but those of us coming out of long relationships might be a bit rusty and perhaps could use a few tips. If anything this article at least brought a few things into focus...
Matthew, Epping, Essex
She said that chivalry is not sexist. While that statement is true, is misses the point, and is really irrellevant.
<p>
Women are not clones. They are different. What one women calls "Chivalrous" another WILL CALL SEXIST.
<p>This was a great guide on how to date E. Jane Dickson. I am sure there is probably a measurable percentage, say 10 or even 15% of women that agree with her.
<p>There are however MANY more women that will disagree with here. A younger women will probably call sexist what Ms. Dickson calls chivalrous. And an older women might call chivalrous what Ms. Dickson calls sexist.
<p>For this reason, I find articles like this one to be rather useless for men. They may help women think about how they want to be treated, which I find few women do.
Andrew, NY, NY, USA
"A girl will always forgive you for trying to kiss her. She'll never forgive you for not trying to kiss her." - someone wise.
Rachel, London,
Boring. Men and women need to learn good manners and that respect for each other is very important.
All these advice puts anyone off!
Alex Guerriero, Oxford, England
Great article and couldn;t agree more. However, your assumption about going dutch in Holland is oh, so wrong. ...
Stuart Murray, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Honestly you make this all far too complicated.
If a guy and a girl are going to fall for each other, they don't need any overblown advice like this - in fact, it's probably counter-productive as it will probably encourage some to act like people they're not.
And boy, don't you have an enormous set of rules? Chill out and just enjoy your date!
Alex McGregor, Plymouth, UK
Funny, true and definitately identifiable especially the sifting of each sentence for subtext.
JS, Cheltenham,
And there's me thinking this was 2007...
Daniel, Staines, UK
That was ridiculously offensive. I won't be compelled to pamper someone that I expect to be an equal partner in my life, nor will I allow the terms of such pampering to be dictated to me. If I want to coddle something sometime in the future, I'll purchase a housepet.
Nick, Tucson, AZ, USA
Oh, the trite, tiresome formulae!
Saurabh Sircar, Philadelphia, USA