Rosie Millard
Download 'Too Hot', an exclusive Specials track from iTunes
There is no way that Selin Tamtekin could be described as even remotely low-life. Immaculate, groomed to perfection, she walks towards me on perfectly unscuffed heels, without a gleaming hair out of place or a single microfibre of dust on her pristine white shirt.
At 33 she looks after the private clients of a Mayfair contemporary art gallery, organising dinner parties for collectors and inhabiting a glittering world that thinks nothing of dropping £40,000 on a painting. Her father is Yuksel Tamtekin, one of Turkey’s most revered consular-generals.
Yet she has caused outrage in Turkey after the British publication of her debut novel. The Turkish Diplomat’s Daughter is a racy roman à clef, chronicling sexual affairs with a Bangladeshi landlord, a sailor and a Freddie Mercury-obsessed fantasist.
When Turkish newspapers got hold of the book, Tamtekin admitted her identity (it is written under the pseudonym Deniz Goran) and was so roundly pilloried that worried friends dubbed her “the female Salman Rushdie”. Splashed on the front pages of at least four national newspapers, she was derided as a “high-class Mayfair prostitute” who was writing about her own thinly veiled sexual experiences. The media were astonished that not only a Turkish woman but one from the highest echelons of society had written so frankly about her sexuality.
A public witch-hunt went on to name and shame members of the Turkish elite whose sexual peccadil-loes were supposedly outlined by the novel. Tamtekin went into hiding for three weeks, horrified by the uproar.
Despite the title, she insists that the novel is not about her experiences.
“It’s not an autobiography, although there are people and situations in it that have inspired me. In society, women are expected to play the game according to the rules. Well, I wanted to create a character who does as she pleases. It’s not common for women in Turkey to be so overtly sexual,” admits Tamtekin.
Although she concedes she has not received death threats, the examples of not only Rushdie, but also Theo van Gogh, the Dutch film-maker murdered for Submission, his transgressive film about women and sex in Islamic society, are a reminder that artistic expression as social critique is not easily accepted in some Muslim countries, even the secular ones.
Tamtekin is unbowed and is furious about the hypocrisy. “It’s not as if no one has sex in Turkey. Of course women have sexually active lives, but they always make sure that no one hears about them. Women aren’t able to stand out as individuals and talk openly about sex or fancying men,” she says.
Turkey might pride itself on its secularity, but it seems as if the notion of a sexually active woman is as utterly taboo there as it is in far more fundamentalist Muslim countries. Tamtekin, who has a BA in history of art from University College London, is the first Turkish Muslim woman to publish a sexually explicit book. The reaction to what would seem pretty mainstream in Britain and the rest of Europe, where even such salacious series as Sex and the City have become accepted, shows how wide the gulf in attitudes still is between Turkey and its neighbours.
The process of Turkish accession to the European Union may well require a wholesale modernisation of the country’s attitudes to women and freedom of expression. “There are no tele-vision programmes where people just chat about sex, for example,” says Tamtekin. “Where I am from in Istan-bul, it’s not that restrictive. I come from a secular, liberal background. But a high number of people living in Turkey regard virginity as crucial and would not contemplate the idea that their daughter might have sex before marriage.”
As her book roundly attests, this morality is often utter hypocrisy; Tamtekin vividly describes a society where young women may well be sexually active but who are encouraged to visit a back-street doctor for a bit of “corrective” surgery before marriage.
She writes of a society where in remote rural areas incest is an unspoken but present horror and where, even among the middle classes, “sex, especially female sexuality and homo-sexuality, is still regarded as taboo – it’s always done in a highly intricate manner behind closed doors”.
From the subsequent furore, one can only surmise that many of her observations on Turkish society are spot on; even her father, the worldly wise diplomat, has stopped speaking to her since her book came out. “When a female Turkish author writes about sex in such a big way, that’s a big issue,” says Tamtekin sadly.
Given all the fuss, why did she go on with the publication of her novel in Turkish, which is now imminent? “Before signing the Turkish agreement I did have my doubts,” she admits. “But if you have an idea and have created something, you have to take a stand and go all the way. I’m not insisting on imposing my own ideas, but everyone has a right to an opinion. I believe I have a right to publish this book in Turkey. And I will stand by my book.”
She says that when writing it she just let her imagination wander. “I mean, why do people make such a big deal of it,” she says. “We all have sex, everyone does. Sex is part of life and we should come to terms with it. From an early age, my father always taught me there was no taboo in art. And so I took him at his word.”
Somehow I suspect that did not go down too well with the former consular-general. “Well, I sent him a letter reminding him that he always told me I was an artist with a great imagination. Of course, my mother asked me why I didn’t write a novel all about flowers and birds.”
Her novel is a lively gauntlet thrown down by a single woman championing casual sex. It encourages women to indulge in sex openly and freely and even dares to cast a sceptical look at marital fidelity. And it’s not just about Turkey.
As she writes: “I never seem to understand why society considers sexually liberated women as such a big threat. Even in London, as a woman you need to play down your sexuality, otherwise people see you as some sort of a nuisance. I find it insane that there is still a majority out there who actually believe men . . . have a much higher sexual drive than women.”
While The Turkish Diplomat’s Daughter (Burning House, £10.99) may not be perfect literary fiction, the ideas that it suggests are quietly revolutionary. “I would like to be able to change opinion a bit,” says Tamtekin. “I am not saying every woman should be leaping around, but they should have more freedom to do so if they wish to. And be open about it.”

Win a luxury weekend to Newcastle and its neighbour Gateshead, find out more here
Risk, resilience and embracing new technology
Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Discover the power of collective thinking. Submit a solution and be in with a chance to win a Media Hub Home Entertainment System
The inside track on current trends in the charity, not for profit and social enterprise sectors
Everything the Business Traveller needs to know to make a better trip
Make the most of the summer and enter our fabulous photographic competition, you could win a £5000 holiday
Corsica is an island of beauty and contrast, an ideal holiday destination
Enjoy further reading from Travel to Fashion, Business to Sport, discover more
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
The clever way to lease a new car is with Car leasing made simple™
2009
per month on 36-month
Personal Contract Hire (PCH)
2008
42850
Car Insurance
£24,250 - £30,346
MI5
London
£60,000
The Environment Agency
Bristol
Up to £90K
Boots
Midlands
OTE £85k
Credit Protection Association
Nationwide Opportunities
Completely London
Luxury Condo's in Manhattan with NYC views
The best new homes in Wimbledon?
Nationwide
Fabulous Cruise And Cruise & Stay Offers Including Virgin Atlantic Flights Prices Start From Only £699pp!
Last Minute Cruise And Cruise & Stay Offers. Med From £499pp, Caribbean From £699pp!
5 star quality at a 3 star price.
8 fabulous Canadian cities ...you won’t find cheaper
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths | Subscriptions | E-paper
News International associated websites: Globrix Property Search | Property Finder | Milkround
Copyright 2009 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.
ILKER FROM USA.
correctly said, why is it that turkey is acused of being backwards because it looks at this as taboo. You are supposed to be conservative about sex or else we are reduced to passive people chasing after pleasures. like animals.
Richard, Dallas,TX, USA
I think the Tamtekin's point is that women do not choose to be 'sexually conservative' but forced to be so by social norms of the others. Sex is a taboo subject because women who are open about sex is excluded from society and treated as prostitutes, or best treated as 'confused person'. Talking about sex becomes taboo because people who chooses to be 'sexually conservative' does not even tolerate a book which offers a different perspective on morality. Sex becomes taboo when active sex is considered normal for men but immoral for women. Sex becomes taboo, when a woman is not considered as a 'subject' with freedom to choose but an 'object' under social control. I dont yet think that it has any connection with secularism. It's something to do with culture which is disciriminating against women all over Turkey in different shapes and forms.
Ayse, Ankara, Turkey
There is freedom of expression allowed in this country so she is legally entitled to write such stuff. If she is a Muslim she would have been aware from the start that such writing might cause a stir. It is her decision whether to print sexual writings or not. Her own efforts bring her own rewards or punishment. These are given either in Paradise or Hell. I am of the opinion that she is a confused person and in need of help.
Abidah Sawsan, bournemouth,
"Turkey might pride itself on its secularity, but it seems as if the notion of a sexually active woman is as utterly taboo there as it is in far more fundamentalist Muslim countries." This statement is entirely false. Just because some people choose to be sexually conservative that does not necessarily make the issue a taboo. There are many sexually conservative people in many parts of Europe as well as USA. There are no "sex chat shows" here on network TV in US either. Having morals is not the same as being backwards and close minded.
Ilker, Orlando, USA/ FL
This article should instead have been titled 'Sex & the Turkish Girl.'
This is about a cultural inefficiency of sorts, as far as the 'taboo' labeling is concerned. Lots of Eastern European or non-Muslim but culturally not so open societies also experience similar cases of taboo of sexuality. And this is not necessarily a Muslim exclusivity, but I am sure it sells more papers when labeled as such.
If Ms. Tamtekin were not to have been a practicing Muslim, but an Atheist, or a devil worshipper, she still would have been right on to bring certain things out of the closet such is the case in Turkey, contrary to many who are in denial.
I do agree with the Turkish journalist who commented that Ms. Tamtekin's remarks were of a marketing nature (of the book, not her), but I do not agree with him when he tries to suggest a denial that the sexuality taboo does not exist, especially amongst women of Turkey.
Metin, Newport Beach, CA, USA
I really feel for Selin. It was really awful the way the Turkish press treated her and I hope that people in the UK are able to see it as the fault of the Turkish press. It is true that the majority of Turkish people have a very conservative approach to female sexuality but there are people in Turkey, men and women, who have a westernized approach. I have already read her novel and I think that it gives a great insight to many aspects of female sexuality as well as other aspects of contemporary life. I wish her all the best.
Asli Guven, London, England
Of course there is hypocrisy the sex drive is the second strongest need after survival, it's why so many priests & celibates cannot stick to their pledge.
One only needs to open up Skype to see the majority of men cruising around the site are from Turkey & all Islamic countries.
Good luck to Selin, I hope it opens eyes in Turkey & that it makes all Turks accept life as it is & human nature as it is.
Also I sincerely wish you a safe life Good Luck I for one will be reading your book.
Maggie millington, Brittany, France
This story has been told in an exaggerated manner and it serves misinformation -instead of honest journalism-, mostly not because of the reporter, but because of Tamtekin's misleading remarks.
As a Turkish journalist, I can assure you that Tamtekin's book hadn't caused any "extraordinary" uproar in Turkey. The same story would have been covered in the same way -with the same reactions- in Germany or Brazil, too. The media reactions were about her high profile status (not gender or religion) and the obscene sexual references she has made -which were "news" in any part of the world. There was no public reaction about her sexual conducts or her religious acts.
Tamtekin's effort to present herself as âthe female Salman Rushdie" is totally a nonsense, because she has never been a target of a public campaign to denounce her as an infidel or an immoral person.
I consider Tamtekin's remarks as a way of self-advertisement and the story seems like served her commercial aims.
Emre Kizilkaya, Istanbul, Turkey
Good luck to her, what strikes me is the utter hypocrisy. I was living with Turkish friends in Istanbul in 1994 and yes, the girls were sexually active, just like British girls. These were normal, midde-class girls - most of whom had received a higher education.
Alexandra, Cologne,
when I read thisnews, I learned that What a little knowledge does europians has about Turkey. I saw all over the turkey and I haven't seen any kind of example as you mentioned. I can not accept ideas which is brought peoples attention by a woman who doesn't has enough knowledge about turkey. being mouslim doesn't mean people can not be secular. you can not judge people who have their moral values. we should pay respect to them.
Sibel, eskiÅehir, turkey