Ed: Even if god isn't a hoax, then ontological arguments for his existence surely are, albeit not particularly convincing ones...

On the whole, I have more faith in teapots than in god, though I don't know if that would make me more or less surprised to find one in space. Besides which, the teapot is in orbit rather than "flying", which would just be silly.

Aedan, Dubai, UAE

Lance re: celestial teapots

Apart from the important Ontological differences (the idea is that God is the existence per se, the teapot is not), there is a problem of categorising that which people are convinced of (God) with something you made up (flying teapots), sharing one common property but not all (cant be scientifically falsified) - is a red bus the same as a red apple?

Ed, london,

There's an exercise I do at the gym for my lower back in which I position my body and the weights in quite a unique way. Other men at the gym saw me doing the exercise and asked what its purpose was. I came up with the explanation that it was a proven exercise for strengthening the "erection muscle" buried somewhere in the torso, and that regularly including the exercise in their routines would keep them "up" all night during their next sexual encounter. By the following week I spotted other guys at the gym doing the exercise; months later, after having switched to another gym across the other side of town, I saw the same exercise being performed by the guys there. I expect the "erection exercise" can now be spotted in gyms across the world.

Richard Medic, Strasbourg, France

To the chap that said, 'no one has ever proved that God does not exist': nobody has proven that a celestial teapot orbiting the sun doesn't exist either. However, is it reasonable to believe that such a teapot exists? Is it reasonable to remain agnostic on the issue?...

Lance, Boston,

In the late 70's or early 80's a well known gardening expert recommended plastic soft drink bottles partly filled with water and placed on the front lawn would deter cats and dogs from defecating/urinating on front lawns. This hint was embraced enthusiastically by legions of home owners for many years, some littering their lawns with 2 or 3 strategically placed bottles. My father cottoned on pretty quickly it was a joke - but only when our family pet used it for 'target practice' a few times.

Kim Taylor, Auckland, NZ

You left off Bush and Cheney and their False Flag of 9-11; to be surpassed by the bombing of Iran this Spring?

Kyle, Flint, MI USA

Chris :"Surely the biggest and most succesful con ever begins with theese words..... "In the begining, God created the heavens and the earth" "

How do you know that? It's presumption. No one has proven that God does not exist. And further: Dawkins, who says that evolution proves the Bible is false, uses straw men - Bible belt Christians - to prove his point: but most Christians are not bound to a literal interpretation of the Bible and may accept such theories as Evolution.

Faith is when a person accepts God's revelation/proof of His own existence: the opposite of the Oxford English Dictionary's bogus definition "Belief without knowledge" which was made up by modern philosophers.

Ask and God will reveal himself: but make sure to persevere. Many atheists and agnostics are just lazy people who couldn't be bothered, or who were foolish enough to accept their teachers opinions and left it at that.

Greg Lorriman, Leatherhead, UK

What about the guy who twice sold the Eiffel tower and the brooklyn bridge.

Doug, Atlanta,

"Who's she? The Cat's mother?"

I haven't heard that since I was a girl!!

Mary, Tooting, England

The best I've heard took place in the mens room of Terminal 3 at DFW somebody arranged 10 pairs of shoes and trousers on the floor of each loo in front of the bogg. Anyone looking under the door would think it occupied. Stayed like that all of April 01. Thousands of gentlemen unable to perform their daily ritual.

Michael, Tucson, az,usa

In the 1960's Tomorrow's World on the BBC demonstrated 'smellyvision' - a complex chemistry set that was supposed to pick up the smell of coffee (I think) and affect our noses through 'coded signals' mixed into the black and white TV picture. It had me, my brother and a friend (who went on to study science at Cambridge) on our knees in front of the set, with our scientific friend thinking he could detect something, until my father, sitting behind us, could no longer suppress his laughter and gave the game away.

adrian cosker, Hitchin, UK

Those who mage up their "god"...

F.S.SUMMERS, NY,

Perce!!! You are right on!!! I was married on April Fool's Day!! That should have been a hint. The retired judge and his wife were watching I Love Lucy on television! They had us stand in front of the television and turned down the volume!!! Well, have a fine day!!!

Miss May, Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

"Crofts seemed to suffer little punishment for her actions and was never heard of again after the incident."
That doesn't seem like "little punishment," to "never be heard of again."

Dave (not that Dave), Black's Burgh, Commonwealth of Virginia

"hmmm...mostly women...why isn't my (ex) wife on the list?" - obviously Thomas, London can't count.

Milo, Norwich,

Common everyone, have you forgotten already?

"....I did not have 'sexual' relations with THAT woman". Nice try, Bill.

And also....

"..Saddam Hussein possessed weapons of mass destruction capable of launching in 45 minutes".

Hay Blowke, London, U.K

The Panorama spaghetti harvest is definitely up there and the hoax advert that Lloyds bank ran - instead of the black stallion running along the beach it was a little black shetland pony - classic!

Amanda, Dublin,

The best April Fools prank I have been subjected to was back in 83 or 84 when ITV had just started transmitting through the night television.
The programme which invariably ran from 1am to 5pm, advertised during the night of March 31st that they will be putting on a blue film on at 4am.
As a 13-14 yr old this was of great interest to me. I waited till 4am, put on the television, and lo an behold there indeed was a blue film. In actual fact the whole screen was coloured blue and that was it, no pictures, no sound just a blue film.
Its still the best prank to this day.

ABDUL RAHIM, Peterborough, England

Here`s a corker, but it`ll never catch on.

Set up a global network of `financial institutions` run by ridiculously overpaid executives to lend money they don`t have to people who can`t pay it back in order that they can buy things that aren`t worth it.

OK, it`s a ludicrous idea - back to the drawing board !!

Perce, Hinckley,

What about Pierre Plantard?

His invention of the Priory of Sion duped the BBC into making two documentaries, and spawned the publishing phenomena of the Da Vinci Code and Holy Blood, Holy Grail.

Nigel Barker, Yateley, UK

Yeah Dave - some people were taken in by the idea that the world's round rather than flat too - the fools, eh? Just as well that we can see these scientists and climatologists for the clueless buffoons they are and know so much more than them about science, isn't it? Climate change, hah, we armchair scientists know so much better.

Ruth , Glasgow, Scotland

Weather in Great Britain is a very, very good hoax .

Tato Dulanci, Vitoria, Spain

all the popes and all the priests and all the religions that have ever been invented by man looking to control other men so they blow themselves up! it's no joke!

Frank, London , UK

There is no god but allah and I am his prophet.....so believe everything I say, no matter how ridiculous.

James, Milton Keynes, UK

Shurely the man who took the famous picture of the Loch Ness monster is No 1?

Richard, Johannesburg, South Africa

I am reminded of a German (or was it Austrian?) guy found wandering on the beach purporting to have lost his memory and only "communicating" by playing the piano. He fooled the lot of gullible psychologists for several weeks.

Don Basilio , Cambridge, UK

"a life devoted to, and ultimately squandered on, the pursuit of japery"

Lovely turn of phrase. I love japery.

Great list - All a bit too English though. We have some pretty strong contenders in the US too!

Owen, Thousand Oaks, CA, USA

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Delightful post. Made my day (seriously). Must find a way to wend the word japery into my everyday conversation.

Agree about the list being a bit too English. er, it's an English newspaper. Can you imagine a US newspaper giving more than lip service to overseas stunts?

We had a good one in Australia a few years ago; Full page ad in an 'upmarket' newspaper announcing the arrival of the white coffee bean.

Another year one for a tiny car a bit like the Smart Car, which could park horizontally (the front tyres gripped the specially designed vertical surface).


p.s. Thank you for lending us Daniel Kitson; saw him last night; very, very, very funny (and thought provoking) man.

Winnie, Melbourne, Australia

Charles Dawson... try Charles Darwin, he is still getting people and he isn't even alive anymore.

Matthew, Cardiff,

Surely the biggest and most succesful con ever begins with theese words..... "In the begining, God created the heavens and the earth"
It will take a good deal of hard work for Al Gore and the likes to make the man made global warming jape quite as widespread as the organised religion one.

Chris, Monaco,

hmmm...mostly women...why isn't my (ex) wife on the list?

thomas, london, UK

S. Cannon from Tustin, CA.
What about Joseph Smith?
And the current "Prophets"?

Anil Siqueira, Mumbay, India

Indisputably, one with the widest implications has been that perpetrated by Bush, Dick and Coln, not forgetting ToeKnee.

Anil Siqueira, Mumbay, India

Interesting that it's the American visitors who don't believe in global warming... one moment while I fire up my Hummer! Maybe the hoax is on all those who put their heads in the sand and close their minds to the inevitability of Peak Oil...

Simon Rundell, Gosport, UK

I read a blog today - are there plans to run a 'scottish grand prix'?

Melanie, Matlock Bath, Derbyshire

what about the spaghetti harvest?

focada, plymouth, uk

I think "everyone will have access to an NHS dentist by 1999" was a pretty good one! Although, "it can't be beyond the wit of government to remove mix-sex wards" came close, as did "our troops will return from Afghanistan after three years without having to fire a shot". Actually, "a visit to the Millennium Dome will be a life-changing experience" was reasonable. Maybe the best was the one about "only 13,000 people from Eastern Europe will come to Britain". What a belter, although I didn't believe it - but I was fooled by the "we'll give you a referendum on the EU constitution if you vote for us" along with the "a constitution under a different name would still be a constitution". How I laughed when I realised I'd been fooled!

Mike, Brighton, England

History will tell of the great man-made global warming/carbon footprint obsession hoax, and the millions of people who were taken in by it. I hope they get my name right as one who wasn't.

Dave Tows, Bradford,

"a life devoted to, and ultimately squandered on, the pursuit of japery"

Lovely turn of phrase. I love japery.

Great list - All a bit too English though. We have some pretty strong contenders in the US too!

Owen, Thousand Oaks, CA, USA

I'll bet on Al Gore's hoax as the 21st century's greatest.

Paul, Albuquerque, USA

i once convinced my girlfriend that, due to a typo on my birth certificate, my name was officially spelt with a silent 3.

Luke John Davies, Birmingham, UK

Is it journalistic rivalry, that prevents you mentioning The Guardian 'special' on the island Sans Seriffe ?

Haven't found your April 1st story yet, which one is it?

The best candidate must be Leon Brittans' item.

Frank H, London,

What about those who persuaded US Congress, United Nations and UK Parliament that Iraq was the main source of Muslim extremist terrorism and had weapons of mass destruction which could be launched within 45 minutes ?

Peter Lloyd, BLACKER HILL, South Yorkshire

Surely Marianne Foyster of Borley Rectory belongs on this list.

Emma, Cambridge, UK

How could you have forgotten L. Ron Hubbard?

Read his biography, and perhaps you may consider re-writing your choice for #1

S. Cannon, Tustin, CA, USA

#11 Al Gore
For perpertrating the hoax of man made global warming!

john, Ft Pierce, FL

I once convinced an entire teaching staff that I gave a tinker's cuss about algebra.
That's worth at least number 12 on your list.

Pete, Atlanta

Pete, Atlanta, USA/Georgia

Quite a view executives at banking organisations could be added to this list, given the recent fallout.

Michael, London,

These are nothing. In the '80's, a South African Newspaper published an article claiming that the SA Defence Force had bought an unihabited Island in the Indian Ocean for a military base and weapons testing. It went as far as the UN security council before anybody thought to look at a map.....

Nick, Cape Town, SA

You missed off the chap who passed 'The Times' thr Hitler Diaries. Funny that!

David Leslie, Perth, Scotland