When it comes to global politics, Nicolas Sarkozy may not be the colossus he dreams of being; in the bedroom, however, he is clearly a skilled and seasoned negotiator. Or at least that is what his friends would have us believe.

The so-called revelations about Mr and Mrs Sarkozy's first encounter paint a portrait of a man positively pulsating with sexual energy, a towering model of Gallic manhood whose approach to the serious business of seduction is as smooth as it is theatrical. For her part, Carla Bruni certainly lives up to her vampish reputation. If Mr Séguéla's memory is to be trusted, Sarkozy and Bruni deserve to be ranked alongside Antony and Cleopatra in the passion stakes.

Reading between the lines, however, this pair would never abandon themselves to such blind passions, not least because they are both in thrall to a higher love: their reputation as a global power couple. Telling someone, “You will see, we will do better than Kennedy and Marilyn” is hardly the basis for a stable relationship, nor is it the sort of poetic emotion that launches a thousand ships.

In fact, it's the kind of chat-up line that would make most sane women run for the hills: “You be the tragic movie star who dies of an overdose; I'll be the troubled yet charismatic adulterer.” Hardly a recipe for long-term marital bliss.

These “revelations” feel less like illicit insights into the birth of a great love and more like carefully thought out snippets of spin. It's just a shame that they didn't get someone better to write the script. “You make love because no one makes love to you?” Oh please. This is grown-up politics, not sixth-form creative writing. He'll have to do better than that.

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