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Extract From Lunar Park

“This is exactly why I don’t think counselling is helping,” Jayne said to Dr Faheida. “This is it exactly. It’s all a joke. This is why it’s a waste of time.”

“Is this all a joke to you, Bret?” Dr Faheida asked.

“He’s never changed a diaper,” Jayne said, going through her hysterical litany of how the damage we were trudging through was caused by my absence during Robby’s infancy. She was actually in the middle of pointing out that I’d “never been thrown up on” when I had to cut her off. I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted her guilt and anger to really start kicking in.

“I have been vomited on honey,” I protested. “Quite often I have been vomited on. In fact there was a year sometime back there when I was vomited on continuously.”

“Vomiting on yourself doesn’t count!” she shouted, and then said, less desperately, to Dr Faheida, “See — it’s all a joke to him.”

“Bret, why do you attempt to mask real problems with irony and sarcasm?” Dr Faheida asked.

“Because I don’t know how seriously I can take all this if we’re only blaming me,” I said.

“No one is ‘blaming’ anyone,” Dr Faheida said. “I thought we all agreed that this is a term we don’t use here.”

“I think Jayne needs to take responsibility as well.” I shrugged. “Did we or did we not finish last week’s session talking about Jayne’s problem? The little teensy-weensy one” — I held up two fingers, pressing them together tightly, to illustrate — “about how she doesn’t think she’s worthy of respect and how that messes up everything? Or did we not discuss this, Dr Fajita?” “It’s Faheida,” she corrected me quietly . . .

“Oh, this is ridiculous,” Jayne shouted. “He’s a drug addict. He’s been using again.”

Where to see . . .

BRET EASTON ELLIS
DATE Saturday October 8
PLACE town hall
TIME 6.30pm
TICKETS £8 from 01242 227979

www.cheltenhamfestivals.org.uk

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