What we’d left behind . . .

Our priority is to create jobs. This is not just an economic priority but also a social and moral one.
Conservative manifesto, 1997 general election, page 9

Governments cannot create jobs.
Conservative manifesto, page 10

You can only be sure with the Conservatives
Conservative Manifesto, title

What we were in for . . .

One reason I changed the Labour Party is so that we can remain true to our principles.
Tony Blair, general election campaign, 1997

There is a big difference between “we will accept these proposals” and “these proposals are acceptable”.
Labour spokesman, trying to play down the party’s enthusiasm for a leaders’ debate after strategists decided that John Major had more to gain, general election campaign, 1997

You want spontaneity? Spontaneity is scheduled for Wednesday.
Labour spin-doctor, talking to The Observer’s Andrew Rawnsley, election 1997

The Blair years: “education, education, education”, being in touch with modern Britain and spin . . .

The Minister for School Standards and myself [sic] meet regularly with those parent’s [sic], teacher’s [sic] and head’s [sic] who have a commitment to raising standards.
Parliamentary written answer posted under the name of the Education Secretary, David Blunkett, February 2001

Fifty-four.
Stephen Byers, Schools Minister, asked to multiply eight by seven (56) during a BBC radio interview, January 1998. A No 10 press spokesman, reaffirming the Prime Minister’s confidence in him, said “it is one of those character-forming events”. There was further controversy over Byers’s skills for his ministerial duties when, after the 2001 election, he was appointed Secretary of State for Transport despite not being able to drive.

Can I have a pot of that nice avocado mousse.
Peter Mandelson, reported remarks in a fish and chip shop in his Hartlepool constituency, pointing to the mushy peas. He insists that the story is apocryphal.

There is one big obstacle in the way of all our plans for change. It is the greatest legacy of the Tory years: disillusion with politics itself. And if we want to remove it we must show that our politics is not theirs. Not just that our vision for Britain is different, but also our means of achieving it. A new politics – a politics of courage, honesty and trust.
Tony Blair, as Leader of the Opposition, Labour Party conference, October 1994

‘Now is not the time for soundbites, but I feel the hand of history upon our shoulders’

I suspect Blair and his Government are going to be as strongly identified with the loss of public trust as Major’s was with sleaze. The public certainly feel let down over the period.
Sir Alistair Graham, chairman of the Committee on Standards in Public Life, March 2007.

Instead of wasting hundreds of millions of pounds on compulsory ID cards as the Tory Right demand, let that money provide thousands more police officers on the beat in our local communities.
Tony Blair, as Leader of the Opposition, Labour Party conference, October 1995

Through the identity cards Bill, we will pave the way for a British identity card –at first voluntary, and then in time, compulsory . . . identity cards, in my judgment, are long overdue.
Tony Blair, Prime Minister, House of Commons, November 2004

I want to protect state pensions
Tony Blair, writing in the Daily Mirror, June 1994

The unemployed youngster has no right to steal your radio. But let’s get just as serious about catching the people in the City with an eye on your pension.
Tony Blair, Labour Party conference, October 1994. Revelations in April 2007, towards the end of his premiership, showed his Chancellor’s abolition of tax concessions for pension schemes shortly after coming to office in 1997 ended up devastating Britain’s pension system over the following decade. The industry estimated that the move had cost pension schemes £100 billion.

A thug might think twice about kicking your gate, throwing traffic cones around your street, or hurling abuse into the night sky if he thought he might get picked up by the police, taken to a cashpoint and asked to pay an on-the-spot fine of, for example, £100
Tony Blair, proposing instant fines for street hooligans, June 2000

I think that the whole process of thinking that people who are raging drunk, or indeed those who are being disorderly or even violent, can be made quiescent to go to a cashpoint, will cause us some difficulties.
Sir John Evans, president of the Association of Chief Police Officers, reacting to the plan One or two chief constables said it was not a goer. Charles Clarke, then the Home Office Minister in charge of youth justice, two days after Mr Blair’s speech acknowledging a problem with the concept. He maintained that the Prime Minister was “using a metaphor” when he spoke of frogmarching hooligans to cashpoints

It’s not a day for soundbites, really, we can leave those at home. But I feel the hand of history on our shoulder in respect to this.
Tony Blair, press conference, during Northern Ireland Good Friday peace negotiations, April 1998

We will reduce and probably eliminate the homeless by 2008
John Prescott, 2002

[The green belt] It’s a Labour achievement and we intend to build on it.
John Prescott, Deputy Prime Minister, quoted in The Guardian, April 1999 John Prescott, after a convoluted monologue in a BBC interview with Nick Robinson, March 2000: “Can I do that again? That was crap.” Nick Robinson: “You’re live.”

Well, of course, the Prime Minister has been working very hard at it.
Foreign Secretary Robin Cook in response to effusive congratulations from Bertie Ahern, Irish Prime Minister, November 1999. Cook assumed Ahern must be referring to a breakthrough he hadn't heard about in the Northern Ireland peace talks. He was, in fact, referring to news that Cherie Blair was pregnant, which Cook hadn’t heard about either.

‘The green belt is a Labour achievement, and we intend to build on it’

Jack Straw, Home Secretary, visiting a Bournemouth old people’s home during the 1999 Labour Party conference, to a resident: “Do you know who I am?” Resident: “No dear, but if you ask matron, she will tell you.”

I have expressed a degree of regret that can be equated with an apology.
Des Browne, Defence Secretary, nearly apologising for his ministry’s public relations disaster in April 2007 in allowing Royal Navy sailors released from Iranian custody to sell their stories to the tabloid press.

Only some ghastly, dehumanised moron would want to get rid of the Routemaster.
Ken Livingstone, Mayor of London and in charge of transport for the city, speaking in 2001 about its iconic red bus; by December 2005 he had had them all phased out.

When you are confident about your party, you do not have to prove how Scottish it is.
Alex Salmond, leader of the Scottish National Party, September 1998 speech. He proceeded to use the words “Scots”, “Scottish” or “Scotland” 95 times.

Foreign Affairs

I asked Boris Yeltsin to tell me briefly what the situation in Russia was like. “Good,” he said. I asked for a longer version. “Not good,” he replied.
John Major, former Prime Minister, reminiscing, November 1999

It is white.
George W Bush, to a child who had asked what the White House was like, on a visit to Britain, July 2001

The Swiss did not say no to Europe. They chose to answer the question later.
European Commission spokesman after a Swiss referendum had rejected joining the EU by a four-to-one margin, March 2001

I asked the barmaid for a quickie. I was mortified when the man next to me said it’s pronounced “quiche”.
Italian Ambassador to Britain, Luigi Amaduzzi, 2001

I’ll walk naked down Main Street.
Jim Whitaker, Mayor of North Platte, Nebraska, promising to raise $5,000 for a local animal charity, August 1998. He duly fulfilled his pledge: “Naked” was a puppy dog. The stunt caused a media storm for the Mayor, with criticism of his demeaning the office, then more of it from disappointed citizens taken in by the joke.

This is a strengthened peace implementation force.
George Robertson, Defence Secretary announcing the reinforcement of British troops in Kosovo, May 1999

It was the right address applied to the wrong building.
US Intelligence spokesman explaining the mistaken bombing of the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade, during Nato airstrikes to deter Serbian aggression in Kosovo, May 1999

Who cares about a little terrorist in Afghanistan?
Paul Wolfowitz, Deputy Defence Secretary, dismissing concerns about al-Qaeda at an antiterrorism policy meeting, April 2001

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
George Bush, Washington press conference, August 2004

Weasel words

The way we travel is damaging our towns.
Alan Meale, junior Environment Minister, in a speech April 1999 in Peterborough, delivered moments after being driven the two miles from the railway station to the venue in a stretch limo that did only 17 miles to the gallon.

It is a social experience for most people. They want to meet the people in the queue.
David Mills, Chief Executive of the Post Office, claiming that customers were happy with long queues at post offices, September 2004

I was not even setting out an argument. I was setting out the facts, the pros and the cons, as dispassionately as I could.
Lord Irvine, Lord Chancellor, on a letter he had written to the House authorities justifying his request for an immediate shipment of fine art for his official apartment. He was giving evidence to the Commons Public Administration Committee investigating the controversial redecoration of his official accommodation, which had cost the taxpayer £650,000, including £59,000 for wallpaper, March 1998

[It is just] a significant change in direction away from meeting the objective.
Explanatory note in the Quality of Life Barometer produced by the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs regarding any target that was failing to be met, March 2002

Obviously I don’t support it, but I support the impulses that are giving rise to it.
President Clinton, on a congressional proposal to balance the US budget, 1995

[Cars] pose a mortal threat to the security of every nation.
Al Gore, in his antipollution book Earth in the Balance, 1992

Here in Motor City, we recognise that cars have done more than fuel our commerce. Cars have freed the American spirit and given us the chance to chase our dreams.
Al Gore, as Vice-President, campaigning in the 2000 presidential election, speech in Detroit, 1999

9/11 and the War on Terror

This crusade, this war on terrorism, is going to take a while.
George W Bush, 16 September 2001

Operation Infinite Justice.
Codename of the post 9/11 US war on global terrorism, dropped within a fortnight after concerns that it might deter Muslim nations from joining the coalition it is leading. Islamic scholars said that Muslims found the name deeply offensive because the Koran said that only Allah could grant infinite justice. The codename became operation Enduring Freedom.

It’s not going to be a country club, but it’s going to be humane.
Donald Rumsfeld, 2002, on conditions at the Guantanamo Bay base where al-Qaeda suspects were held after 9/11.

They’re very well treated down there. They’re living in the tropics. They’re well fed.
Dick Cheney, US Vice-President, defending the treatment of prisoners in Guantánamo Bay, June 2005

Let’s give the terrorists a fair trial and then hang them.
US Senator Gary Hart, post9/11 perspective, 2001

Iraaaaagh!

Thank you for contacting me to express your opposition. . . to the early use of military force by the US against Iraq. I share your concerns. On January 11, I voted in favour of a resolution that would have insisted that economic sanctions be given more time to work and against a resolution giving the President the immediate authority to go to war.
John Kerry, then the Senator of Massachusetts, in a letter to a constituent January 22, 1991, on the first Gulf War

Thank you for contacting me to express your support for the actions of President Bush in response to the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. From the outset of the invasion, I have strongly and unequivocally supported President Bush’s response to the crisis and the policy goals he has established with our military deployment in the Persian Gulf.
John Kerry, letter to the same constituent, January 31, 1991

Iraqis are sick of foreign people coming in their country and trying to destabilise their country, and we will help them rid Iraq of these killers.
George Bush, on the Iraqi insurgency, 2004

The solution to Iraq [is] an Iraq that can govern itself, sustain itself and defend itself . . . Precisely the reason why I sent more troops into Baghdad.
George Bush, April 2007

One of the interesting things people ask me, now that we’re asking questions, is, can you ever win the War on Terror? Of course, you can.
George Bush, April 2004

I don’t think you can win [the War on Terror].
George Bush, August 30, 2004

Make no mistake about it, we are winning and we will win [the War on Terror].
George Bush, August 31, 2004

It’s a slam-dunk case.
George Tenet, Director of the CIA, replying to President Bush’s concerns about the quality of the intelligence on Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction, December 2002, publicly revealed for the first time in April 2004 by Bob Woodward's book, Plan of Attack.

Those were the two dumbest words I ever said.
George Tenet, former CIA Director, May 2005

My colleagues, every statement I make today is backed up by sources, solid sources. These are not assertions. What we’re giving you are facts and conclusions based on solid intelligence.
Colin Powell, Secretary of State, laying out the US intelligence case to the United Nations Security Council, February 2003

As I have said throughout, I have no doubt that they will find the clearest possible evidence of Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction.
Tony Blair, House of Commons, June 2003

I don’t think it’s surprising we will have to look for them. I’m confident that when the Iraq Survey Group has done its work we will find what’s happened to those weapons because he had them.
Tony Blair, interview BBC Arabic Service, December 2003

I have to accept we haven’t found them (WMD) and we may never find them. We don’t know what has happened to them . . . They could have been removed. They could have been hidden. They could have been destroyed.
Tony Blair, to Commons Liaison Committee, July 2004

The evidence about Saddam having actual biological and chemical weapons, as opposed to the capability to develop them, has turned out to be wrong. I acknowledge that and accept it. I simply point out, such evidence was agreed by the whole international community.
Tony Blair, Labour Party conference, September 2004

‘I voted for it before I voted against it’

Stuff happens . . . Freedom’s untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things . . .
Donald Rumsfeld, US Defence Secretary, Pentagon press conference April 2003, on the looting of Iraqi government buildings after the capture of Baghdad.

There are some who feel like the conditions are such that they can attack us. My answer is bring ’em on.
George W Bush, on Iraqi insurgents attacking US forces, July 2003

The Mission Accomplished sign, of course, was put up by the members of the USS Abraham Lincoln, saying that their mission was accomplished.
George W Bush, November 2003, on the banner used as a backdrop for his appearance aboard the aircraft carrier to declare the end of major combat operations in Iraq in May 2003. His spokesman clarified: “Though the Navy requested the banner, the White House made it.”

I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it.
US presidential candidate John Kerry, responding to Republican campaign ads that criticised his vote against a Bill to authorise $87 billion in funds for postwar Iraq, March 2004

You bet we might have.
John Kerry, asked if he would have gone to war against Saddam Hussein if he refused to disarm, US presidential election 2004

In the end, it was all too perplexing . . .

Why do they hate each other? Why do Sunnis kill Shiites? How do they tell the difference? They all look the same to me.
Republican Senator Trent Lott, on the Iraq insurgency, September 2006

© Matthew Parris and Phil Mason, Mission Accomplished – Things Politicians Wish They Hadn't Said, published by JR Books on Nov 7 at £12.99. Copies can be ordered for £11.69 with free delivery from The Times BooksFirst on 0870 160 8080

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