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Clara walked down the crowded street, an unsettling scene of déjà vu washing over her. She glanced again at the photograph – the scene had certainly changed. While Grace’s street had been dusty, empty, Clara’s was busy and full of life. The tarmac road was lined by houses, their small neat gardens shining green in the bright winter sunlight. It was picture perfect.
“Isn’t it perfect?”
Clara jumped. The voice had spoken clearly over the sounds of cars and laughing children. He was standing alone, in the middle of the road, his old-fashioned camera out of place in the modern scene. Everybody aside from Clara herself seemed oblivious to him. Cars glided past the man, as if he wasn’t there. She frowned – surely it was not a normal occurrence? Surely people would notice? Perhaps, she thought, he was part of some show or museum – a realistic look into the past. He looked harmless enough.
“Yes, I suppose it is,” Clara replied hesitantly.
“If you liked it, I could capture you too.”
Clara blinked, stunned.
“Excuse me?”
“On the camera. It is such a lovely day, perhaps you would like to remember it . . .Grace,” he replied, the fixed smile on his face widening slightly.
Clara blanched. Here she was, on the same road, on the same day, maybe even, she supposed, at the same time and she hadn’t been suspicious of a strange, seemingly invisible man with an old-style camera. Not for the first time since Joseph came to visit, Clara could not believe her foolishness. Then again, she reasoned, perhaps like Joseph this man was able to make her feel safe and doubt even the most obvious danger.
“I’m sorry I think you’ve got—” Clara paused, staring at the street around her; all colour seemed to be draining from the scenery.
The once bright green was becoming dull, flowers losing bold petals. It was as if someone had poured water over the picture, washing out all the ink. Colour poured down the glittering tarmac road, slipping into the drains like tidal waves of paint. It was odd, scarily so. Yet so beautiful, mesmerizing.
Clara’s heart quickened, her breathing hitched. Everything was slowing – voices deepened and slurred, birds seemed to stop in mid-flight, wings flapping in slow motion. She turned slowly, sluggishly, suddenly tired. She blinked lazily at the photographer. His appearance, soft and inviting before, was now dark and menacing.
He grinned, his gap-toothed mouth opening wide. Dressed in black. Face changing. Almost recognizable.
Clara paled as she realized who he was.
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Hi, I'm Elsa and I work for Times Online.
I asked Chicken House how they chose the extracts and this is what they said: "As for choosing the extracts, we asked our team of experienced readers to keep an eye out for manuscripts that particularly caught their attention as they were reading through. They don't necessarily reflect the short-list of chosen manuscripts, but they're certainly ones with early promise.
Elsa, London,
I don't understand Joe's comment above. These extracts pluck a random page from an entire manuscript and so he can have no idea whether the reader has already been drawn in to the story or not or cares about Clara. I personally thought the extract was brilliant. It was well written and the description of the colour running down the drain was so vivid. Still wish someone could shed light on how these extract are being selected. Any ideas?
Callum Shaw, London, UK
I'm now wondering why Joe Thomson-Swift has commented on all the books except one. What did he think of that one I wonder and what is his book about? I'm presuming he's entered the competition
J Gelbard, Tel-Aviv, Israel
Well it did it for me! I was drawn in and wanted to read more. I could imagine the street and the way in which, almost like a dream Clara's surroundings were changing. I could identify with Clara's character even though the extract was only short. The camera man I thought could make a fantastic character and I am sure Ruth will describe him with more detail further on. Well done Ruth, I enjoyed it.
Steve Andrews, Skegness, LIncolnshire, UK
Ruth is having a good go at trying to manifest this invisable man for our imagination. But it really does arouse curiosity as to where this is leading? It certainly is a great idea for a story but not one that our emotions can touch or feel. I suppose we can think of a shadowy person that no one else can see except Clara. So for me, this story is more private to her and her invisable friend. How do we connect with an entity that we find difficult to imagine?Ruth has taken on a hard exercise with this character. The reader needs to identify with human qualities that would enable him/her to beleive this invisable person is really there. I need convincing, as even in fantasy, we can beleive in characters made of flesh and blood! Great idea Ruth......but not one I would like to tinker with. Stories need to seduce and invite the reader into it. We all want to be part of the happening....especially if we can identify with qualities portraying our human essense!
Joe Thomson-Swift, London, England. UK