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On my return from the wadi I bathed and went to my chamber for a change of kilt. I opened my wardrobe and it took perhaps a couple of seconds for me to realise that there, crouched inside the wardrobe seemingly asleep, was a male adult baboon.
Suddenly its massive jaws opened, displaying a set of huge, yellow-stained fangs and with a white bile-like substance dripping from its mouth. Before I could jet for my life, the baboon leapt out of the wardrobe, grabbed me by the waist and threw me bodily across the room. I landed heavily on a bedside chair, which collapsed under my weight and, as it did, I felt a sharp pain judder across my chest. I screamed for help as the fierce creature slowly approached me again. I picked up a chair leg to try and defend myself. As the baboon neared I struck it a blow across the head, but the chair leg simply broke into two pieces and the action sent another jarring pain across my chest.
The baboon’s gaping jaws were now no more than three inches away from my face, its foul breath polluting my nostrils. Its yellow fangs were now about to bite and rip out my throat. Ra of mercy, is this the end of Tutankhamun?
Suddenly, and from behind, a hairy and very muscular arm wrapped itself around the baboon’s neck. The arm twisted violently and a loud crack told me that the baboon’s neck had been broken. It slumped to the floor, dead. And then everything went black.
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We are almost hooked by the first paragraph, and the first page. These were taken from somewhere, but I didn't get any pull from any of them. Wish you had given us the FIRST lines!! If you
DID give us the first lines, we are in trouble here! I think I may have to quit fiction altogether.
Mom, San Francisco, California
I enjoyed very much this extract. I would like if the story could continue, for me something related to egytp is quite interesting.
Please continue.
Linda, Felgueiras,
I enjoyed this extract because I enjoy stories within an historical setting. It is both unusual and original and I wonder if it is based on historical fact? I think it would appeal to children. I would like to know more about this story.
Kathy, West Midlands, England
This is my favourite extract so far. I like stories within an historical setting and am now curious about whether this is based on fact. It is both unusual and original. I feel it would appeal to children (and me!)
Kathy, West Midlands, England