Frieda Hughes: Monday poem
Win tickets to the ATP finals
Succubus
by Tim Turnbull (Stranded in Sub-Atomica, Donut Press)
How much stranger love is
than he could imagine. She fills
his answerphone with abuse so shrill
it’s barely comprehensible.
She leaps from a neighbour’s garden
and drags him squawking into the way
of the W3; the bite marks on his nose
and cheek are visible for days.
The bus shrieks and shudders
to a halt. The police are called.
His house is glazed with hardboard.
Rubbish covers his lawn,
graffiti, his walls. Love, it seems,
is two parts terror to one part despair.
You can’t shake hands and call it a draw.
You can’t just declare
because love follows you home at night.
It’s skulking in the shadows there.
It lifts tiles and rattles window frames.
Love electrifies the air.
![]()
When passion for another person emboldens you to feel a sense of possession, you are already on the way to becoming a stalker. Some people believe their partner belongs to them because they love them, and sometimes it’s that possessive streak that brings an end to the relationship – as one would imagine might be the case in this poem.
A succubus is a female demon that has sex with a sleeping man (an incubus is a male demon that has sex with a sleeping woman). The man in the poem may not be asleep, but the parallel is clear; his life is made unbearable by an individual from whom he appears powerless to escape. One could say she exhausts him of the will to live, for her attentions are so violent and relentless that there appears to be no way to dislodge her, just as a succubus exhausts her victim during his unconscious hours. Fixated lovers have nothing else on their minds but the satisfaction of their own self-absorbed need for another person, entirely to the exclusion of that other person’s feelings. They are wholly oblivious to reason and think only of what they want for themselves.
The woman’s abuse of the man – the vile messages on his answerphone, the physical assaults and her efforts to drag him in front of a bus – escalate until “the police are called” and his house is turned into a battle zone. Because there is – or has been – a romantic relationship between the two protagonists, I am persuaded to think that the woman may genuinely believe that her assaults on the man are a result of her “love” for him. Her unrepentant attentions confirm her need for a straitjacket. (We often forget that some men suffer very real domestic abuse.)
Line by line, the poem describes a life of persecution in a landscape that has been wantonly vandalised in the name of “love”, which we can clearly see is something else entirely. The poor man longs to escape, but when “love follows you home at night” we can imagine the deranged woman lurking in the shadows, waiting for him.
Real love can transform us from a lacklustre individual one moment to a ball of vivid joy the next: the last verse allows both the idea of this and our knowledge of the man’s fear of his (ex) beloved. Real love will rattle the metaphorical window frames in our core being, but the love of the woman in the poem will rattle the man’s real window frames: “Love electrifies the air” in both cases; in the first instance through passion, in the second through panic.
“Love” (infatuation/passion/desire/and anything else that we confuse with love) may be the woman’s excuse for the abuse that she inflicts on the object of her affection, but it is a false, purposeless love that does not deserve the name. Love of one person for another is no such thing if it is selfish, needy, demanding, possessive, jealous or punitive; it is simply the manifestation of one person’s insecurities, ruthlessly inflicted on another to disguise their own inadequacies. Real love should know when to forgive and let go.

Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Everything the Business Traveller needs to know to make a better trip
Get ready for the winter sports season, with our resort guides and snow reports
We are backing British business, what is the confidence of the nation and what businesses are succeeding?
Growing demand for energy, oil that is harder to reach and the rise of carbon dioxide emissions. We examine the energy challenge
Enjoy further reading from Travel to Fashion, Business to Sport, discover more
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
36-month car lease
on contract hire for
£359.99 plus VAT pm
12 months for the price of 11 and a 5% discount.
Offer ends 31/11/09
The UK's leading alternative to showroom finance.
Finance packages tailored to your needs.
Minimum loan of £15,000
Car Insurance
c£100,000 + car, bonus & bens
Lord Search & Selection
Midlands
Competitive
Barclaycard
Competitive
EVERSHEDS
London and Manchester
£80-95,000
Clay McGuire Executive Selection
Moments from Battersea Park.
For sale with Winkworth.
See your free Experian credit report beforehand
Book now & save over £100pp.
11 cool resorts, lowest prices... Early Booking offers 15 Nov.
20% off selected Azores holidays taken in October with Sunvil Discovery
Get covered on your travels with a superb range of policies at great prices. Visit InsureandGo.com
World Class Golf, Spa and preferential Beach Club. Private estate overlooking West Coast
Villas from £275 per night inclusive of Golf
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths | Subscriptions | E-paper
News International associated websites: Globrix Property Search | Milkround
Copyright 2009 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.