Ray does the Lost Ark (well, Indiana Jones Part 4, anyway)

There’s hope for crinkly swashbucklers everywhere with the news that the British bull terrier Ray Winstone has been cast in the fourth Indiana Jones film. Winstone, 50, is to play the 64-year-old Harrison Ford’s sidekick in the as-yet untitled movie, which begins shooting in Los Angeles and other top secret world-wide locations in June and is due for release on May 22, 2008. His role was played by a small Asian boy in a previous film.

It is unknown whether the Hackney-born hard man will be commanding an American accent, as he did recently in The Departed. We rather like the idea of him mumbling Aramaic incantations in his native Estuary English, although those meaty paws might not be best suited to handling priceless ancient relics. Still, the snakes had better watch out.

The film, written by David Koepp ( War of the Worlds) and to be directed by Steven Spielberg, will also star Cate Blanchett. There are rumours that Sean Connery and Jona-than Rhys-Meyers will also join the cast. George Lucas is an executive producer.

Winstone’s role will be another feather in a crowded flat cap for the cinema heavy. The prolific actor – best known in the UK for his turns in Sexy Beast and The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe – has worked with Martin Scorsese, Jack Nicholson and Martin Sheen in the past 12 months and plays the lead in Robert Zemeckis’s adaptation of Beowulf, scheuled for release this November. ED POTTON

Going, going, but still not gone

Fancy owning a movie? If you have $999,999 to spare and a lot of optimism you can do just that. The writer/director/ producer J. Neil Schulman is offering his independent film Lady Magdalene’s to any bidder who can meet his somewhat inflated starting price on the auction site eBay (item no 230108636678).

The winner will be the proud owner of an action romantic comedy set in a Nevada brothel. The purchase will include distribution rights (final territories to be negotiated) and the High Definition video of the film.

Reasons you should think about it: the film stars Nichelle Nichols ( Star Trek’s Lt Uhura, pictured right in the blue dress); it features a terrorist disguised as a hooker.

Reasons you should pass: $999,999 doesn’t get you much – you’ll have to pay for the film to be blown up to 35mm for projection and then cough up for the advertising and distribution costs; it certainly sounds dreadful to me; I have some magic beans that are a much better investment. WENDY IDE

Hope in a helmet

The truth is finally out. The gay “subtext” of the sword, sandals, pecs ‘n’ baby-oil smash 300, though ingeniously hidden from at least three people on the planet, finally came roaring to the surface this week. First there was rampant internet speculation about the sexual orientation of the leading man, Gerard Butler (straight, allegedly), then there was the admission of the 300co-star David Wenham that the movie was indeed, how shall we say?, one for the boys.

Finally and most explicitly came the much publicised personal advertisement in San Francisco’s famous classified tome Craigslist, begging for a 300-themed “gay gang bang”.

Written by a desperate film fan who had clearly raced home in a state of some excitement from his local multiplex, the small ad was a plea for other, er, fans of 300 to help to recreate the, um, emotional intensity of the movie with the aid of some tight-fitting costumes and well-choreographed action.

Naturally, 300’s Hollywood studio Warner Bros is staying tight-lipped on the subject, for fear of offending any potential “Friends of Leoni-das” (wink, wink) among the movie-going public. KEVIN MAHER

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