When a fire ravaged my thatched cottage in the New Forest, films, manuscripts, passports, chequebooks, address books, toothbrush and car keys all melted into oblivion while I thought only to save the wife and dog. When Lana Turner’s apartment building caught fire and she had only minutes to flee, she grabbed her lipstick, eyebrow pencil and hairdryer.

Now, that’s a star. I’ve known a few stars in my life. The glamour-girls and heroic males of my youth were pampered, protected and promoted by domineering studio systems, which built their images and crafted their careers, keeping them aloft in the public imagination.

Now, we know more than we need to know about our stars. Postmodernism has deconstructed stardom. The plus side is stars being independent enough to call their own shots; but the negative is that every peccadillo is on display. It’s a crafty person who can ride the modern version of fame without falling off.

What makes a star? In my experience, there are ten attributes, which one is either born with or learns, to qualify for stardom.

1. Talent

A star has to have a talent that demands their constant cultivation, like a pampered baby. For this talent, which is nonnegotiable, they must be prepared to sacrifice everything, including a ravenous appetite and a nice lie-in.

2. Physical presence

Whether they look like Brad Pitt or Brad Dourif (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest), they must have a physical presence. Oliver Reed dominated space simply by looking soulful. When Liza Minnelli auditioned for me, with one song she put everyone in a state of heat.

3. Mystique, which is whimsically dropped now and then

Greta Garbo taught us this one. One appearance of her on the corner of West 86th hidden by collar and sunglasses was enough to cause a riot, even in her eighties. Yet when she performed on camera, she let us into something lyrical and hopeful in her heart.

Lady Olivier is mysterious and calmly in command and her talent in Enchanted April and Tea with Mussolini is mesmerising. Yet when I approached her, she said, “Call me Joan,” like a young girl.

4. Imperviousness to others’ opinions

Explore Film

• Film Reviews

• DVD

• Oscars

• Bollywood

Editor's choice

• The 100 Best Films of 2008
• Hitler and the Downfall mash-ups
• Britney Spears: The Circus