Are you battered by the Baftas? Overwhelmed by the Oscars? Glutted by the Golden Globes? Are you confused by the difference between The Reader and Revolutionary Road? Or unsure of what to say about the awards buzz surrounding The Wrestler? If so, help is at hand in our Bluffer’s Guide to Awards Season. Get the inside track on the personalities and the movies that will define the next four weeks of Tinseltown chatter. Speaking Oscar-ese has never been this easy!

The Winslet factor

This year, it’s all about Kate Winslet. The perennial Awards Season bridesmaid (boasting 14 unsuccessful nominations from the Oscars, Baftas, and Golden Globes combined), finally bucked the trend with a double Globe win (Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress) for her performances as a soulful Nazi in The Reader and a depressed housewife in Revolutionary Road, directed by her husband Sam Mendes.

“Kate the Great”, as some US publications have dubbed her, was so surprised by the double whammy that she blubbed a bit and called Angelina Jolie “the other one”. She has, however, been nominated against herself in the Bafta Best Actress category (again for Reader and Road), raising the self-defeating prospect that she might split her tally in two, and leave the door wide open for Jolie to scoop the prize (for The Changeling). Perhaps she too will thank “the other one”!

What not to say: I preferred her when she was fat.
Credibility control

The Golden Globes are voted for by foreign journalists based in LA, a group that is, allegedly, putty in the hands of gift-laden studio charmers. While the average age of Academy Award voters has traditionally skewed over 50, creating, according to some observers, a conservative bias towards safe industry product (why else did Titanic win 11 Oscars?).

The Baftas, however, have increasingly tried to recruit new, younger members, though their blind predilection for homegrown anything (14 nominations for Atonement seemed a bit steep) remains vaguely humiliating.

What to say: British is best, ish.
The comeback kid

The former washed-up has-been actor Mickey Rourke has made a movie called The Wrestler in which he plays a former washed-up has-been wrestler. Everyone loves that. Multiple awards ensue for him.

What not to say: Yeah, and now he’s an award-winning has-been!
Wildcard hosts

The actor and Ozzie beefcake Hugh Jackman was chosen as host of this year’s Oscars, just weeks before Australia, the blockbuster he stars in, bombed at the US box office. While the Bafta host Jonathan Ross remains a worry from an establishment still “recovering” from Sachs-gate. Jackman can sing and dance, say his defenders, plus he’s less likely to do “difficult” (read intelligent) gags that satirise his industry paymasters. Similarly, the Bafta chairman David Parfitt has assured potential audiences that they will be getting “the other Jonathan” on the night. Which is a relief.

What to say: It’s nothing less than the reinvention of Wossy!
Make his day

Despite being ineligible for a Bafta (it wasn’t released in time), Clint Eastwood’s complex revenge drama Gran Torino may yet be an Awards Season dark horse (the Oscars, the Screen Actors Guild, and Directors Guild awards are all still to come). The movie, a soulful, geriatric Dirty Harry, about an embittered old man (the 79-year-old Eastwood) in need of redemption, is still riding high at the US box office($73 million after two weeks), and is just the type of movie that wows lore-loving voters.

What to say: It’s, like, a swansong to his younger self.
If you have tears, prepare to shed them now — aka Heath Ledger

It’s always disconcerting to watch Hollywood A-listers attempting human pathos during the In Memoriam section of awards shows. This year the passing of Ricardo Montalban, French film director Claude Berri, and Golden Girl Estelle Getty will present a sizable challenge for provoking tears in the younger starlets. However, the dominant presence of the late Heath Ledger in all Best Supporting Actor categories (for playing the Joker in The Dark Knight), and the near-guarantee of success therein, ensures that no guests will be immune to the glassy-eyed close-up.

What to say: Their legacy lives on to enlighten us (Jodie Foster, from the 2007 Oscar ceremony).
Speech horror, part 1

The world was so perturbed by Winslet’s histrionics at the Globes that it missed an even bigger howler, from Anne Hathaway, at the National Broadcast Critics Awards, three days earlier. “To my father who protects me,” she blubbed, concluding a rambling, lachrymose acceptance speech for Rachel Getting Married, “and who shows me that there are good men in this world, and who lets me know every day that I am worthy of the love of good people.”

What not to say: Can we do it again, but this time with more emotion?
Slumdog syndrome

Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s feel-good movie about child poverty in India, was initially such a rank outsider that its own distributor, Warner Brothers, upon seeing the finished film, dropped it immediately. Now, however, the rags-to-riches tale of a Mumbai slum dweller (Dev Patel) has suddenly found favour among voters in a recession-afflicted world.

What to say: It’s the American Dream writ large, only set in India, and with torture and mutilation.
Speech horror, part 2

According to The New York Times, this season’s potential winners are being asked not to refer to Barack Obama in their acceptance speeches, for fear that it will start a sycophantic Obama-lanche of praise.

What not to say: (weeping) Yes, I did!
The foreign posse

Forget about The Baader Meinhof Complex (an overlong account of urban terrorism) or Gomorrah (a Neapolitan Mafia drama that slipped under many radars). The real contender in all Best Foreign Film categories is the animated Israeli documentary Waltz With Bashir. A timely look back on Israeli culpability in the Middle East, it gave director Ari Folman a platform for a stirring, peace-loving speech at the Golden Globes.

What not to say: It’s like the State of Israel is saying sorry, but on film.

Explore Film

• Film Reviews

• Trailers

• DVD

• London Film Festival

Editor's choice

• The 100 Best Films of the Decade
• 70 facts you didn't know about Marvel
• The 50 Biggest Movies Of 2010