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The 62nd Cannes Film Festival is looming on the horizon with typically monstrous swagger, bearing a genuinely breathtaking roster of big-name directors and a recently announced line-up that includes Quentin Tarantino’s war movie Inglourious Bastards, Lars Von Trier’s horror movie Antichrist and Pedro Almodóvar’s melodrama Broken Embraces.

There will also be the posthumous unveiling of the final Heath Ledger movie, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, a classic sidebar presided over by Martin Scorsese, plus the teaming of Sharon Stone and Bill Clinton for the amfAR (the Foundation for Aids Research) charity gala at the famously decadent Hôtel du Cap.

The sheer density of A-list directors (including Ken Loach, Jane Campion, Michael Haneke, Francis Ford Coppola) at this year’s event has left slim pickings for the often underpowered Venice Film Festival, which follows later in the summer. While the Toronto Film Festival, the movie calendar’s other 800lb gorilla, has simply scoffed, announcing on Tuesday that this year, recession be damned, Toronto will be as big as ever – the Canadian Government has given it a £1.7 million bonus.

And yet, when all the posturing and the hype is done, what exactly do these festivals have to offer, what happens there and what’s the point? We asked a panel of insiders for the truth about film festivals..

1. It’s Not About The Parties

“The parties are merely momentary respites from the slog,” explains Hannah McGill, artistic director of the Edinburgh Film Festival, tackling the most commonly held misconception. “The side of festivals that people see in the papers isn’t necessarily the slog, and yet working at a festival is really hard. There’s a massive amount to do for everyone involved.” From the journalists seeking out star interviews and back-to-back screenings, to the distributors and exhibitors looking for hot deals and hotter talent, the last priority for most festivalgoers is partying.

“It’s not about hanging out on the beach with a glass of champagne,” agrees Clare Binns, programming director of City Screen, the UK’s largest independent film exhibitor. “It’s like a military operation. You have a meeting at the crack of dawn, you decide what films you’re going to, what lunches, what events, and then you’re off, from 6am till 2am. Without doubt, it’s the hardest I work all year.”

2. No, Really, It’s Not About The Parties

Even if you’re remorselessly dedicated to schmoozing, you’ll soon find that the star-studded movie party is mostly a myth. “Everyone is waiting for that elusive amazing party,” explains Louise Tutt, the deputy editor of Screen International. “But unless you are Harvey Weinstein, and dining at the Hôtel du Cap, it’s normally just a lot of standing around with warm Sancerre in your hand.”

Last year, for instance, Vanity Fair threw a party at the Cap for exclusive guests such as Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg and Will Smith. Bellinis and lobster were served. Bono and Mick Jagger arrived late to make up the numbers.

This year it’s the amfAR gala on May 21, with Annie Lennox booked to sing for Clinton and Stone. Mere mortals will be excluded. “Increasingly you find that companies are moving away from the idea of parties,” Jonathan Rutter, a leading UK film publicist (and Cannes veteran), explains. “Instead, they prefer to do private dinners for the cast of the film they’re representing and for the distributors who’ve bought it.”

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