Craig McLean
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Shane Meadows and Paddy Considine met at Burton College in Staffordshire when the future director of the hit skinhead drama This is England was 17 and the future Oscar-nominated actor was 16. Studying performing arts, the two were inseparable. “We were the Shane’n’Paddy show wherever we went,” Considine recalls proudly of their time using and abusing the college facilities.
At its best the Midlands pair’s bond found artistic form in short films, a spoof Seventies cop double act called The Schumachers and a band, She Talks To Angels. At its worst “we were crashing parties and taking over”. Then, on a college trip to the Lake District, “all hell broke loose”, says Meadows, adding that the lecturers and their fellow students “could not handle us at all”. The hellraising pair were split up. Considine and Meadows went their separate ways. “We needed a break from each other — we consume each other’s heads,” the actor says, with affection and some pride.
Meadows and Considine are drinking afternoon coffee in the London offices of the film producers Warp. Now, 20 years on, the Shane’n’Paddy Show is back on the road. They have made powerful films together, such as A Room For Romeo Brass and Dead Man’s Shoes, but their latest project, Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee, a lowbudget music“mockumentary”, draws together both their myriad experiences in making films and the anarchic spirit of their student days.
The character of Le Donk is played by Considine. He is a roadie for rock bands who is working backstage for Arctic Monkeys at their (real-life) shows at Old Trafford Cricket Ground in 2007. A greasy, fly-by-night, borderline threatening chap, Le Donk has a tetchy relationship with his ex-girlfriend (who is about to give birth to their child) and high hopes for a hefty aspiring rapper, Scor-zay-zee. Le Donk hopes to finagle Scor-zay-zee into a career-making spot on stage at the Arctic Monkeys’ shows.
The resulting 71-minute film is hilarious and accurate. Think Spinal Tap, with Meadows “playing” the director and actual speaking parts for Arctic Monkeys and members of their crew. “It is like a documentary — Paddy’s the only one who’s really acting,” says the director of a movie that deftly skewers the underbelly of rock’n’roll and the allure of “making it” in music.
“When we were in She Talks to Angels this guy came to college who professed to be in the music industry — he said he knew someone at EMI,” Meadows recalls. “Paddy and I had pretty good bullsh*t detectors, but we didn’t question his confidence. I rang my girlfriend at the time telling her that we were on our way to a record deal. You don’t realise that there’s a million of those moments for everyone in a band, and there’s a million shysters. Talentless idiots who attach themselves like leeches to people with actual talent.”
The lead character, based on those experiences, has previously featured in short films by Considine/Meadows. But Considine’s “brutal impression” of Le Donk has softened over the years, even as the actor professes to have less of an idea of what the character will do next. “This isn’t like Borat or Brüno where I’m going out to expose people and I’m going to go ridiculously far to make a point. I cannot remember half of what Le Donk said until I saw the finished film — because once the hat and the wig and the clothes come on and we’re in that world, I don’t know what is going to come out of his gob.” He says it was the same with Morell, the loner he played in A Room For Romeo Brass and the role that first made his name. “Sometimes a character just jumps ahead of you. I know they’re coming from you; they’re obviously part of you. But you’ve got no control over them really.”
Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee is not only a shot-from-the-hip project but also part of a new Dogme-style film-making school, Five-Day Features, that Meadows has set up with his regular producers Warp Films. They’re not offering any money, just a “template” for how young film-makers might get “a foot on the ladder” by making a film in less than a week. The Le Donk website and DVD will contain a “working manifesto” offering pointers, and Meadows and Warp will “give our stamp” to any films submitted that meet with their approval.
All of which is keeping British film’s greatest double act busy and focused while they inch along the road to making their dream project, King of the Gypsies, a biopic of Bartley Gorman, a legendary bare-knuckle fighter. Considine and Meadows both knew the Irish traveller, who died, aged 57, in 2002, and both have long harboured dreams of telling his life story. Meadows is up for persuading Channel 4 — he is currently writing a series based on the characters from This is England — to part with £3 million plus to fund “our Raging Bull, Scorsese/De Niro moment”. And Considine? He is prepared for “a total transformation. I do want to play that part. I would be unrecognisable in terms of what I would be willing to do to my body.”
But no matter if that epic takes a while longer to get off the ground. The pair already have a Five-Day Features-friendly idea for the further adventures of Le Donk. Not the “obvious” route of having their successful spoof character rubbing shoulders with minor celebrities. “I just think that’s getting tired now,” Considine says. “We love the idea that the next time you see Le Donk, he is back working on a building site. Comedy gold.”
Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee is out now in selected cinemas and on DVD from October 26; ledonk.com
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