Rider is the fictional star of Anthony Horowitz’s bestselling children’s books, and Stormbreaker is the first instalment of what should be a lucrative franchise. It’s a ripping yarn full of cartoon stunts and mad chases. The director, Geoffrey Sax, trashes expensive cars and motorbikes as if they were going out of fashion. He doesn’t have the panache of seasoned Hollywood arsonists such as Richard Donner or James Cameron, but his clunky setpieces sit surprisingly well with the stilted dialogue and Rule Britannia values. Any film confident enough to murder Ewan McGregor before the opening credits by lowering a hitman upside down from a helicopter is not going to be thwarted by something as piffling as a total lack of credibility.

The plot refuses to sit still for two minutes. The moment Alex’s uncle (McGregor) is buried, our hero (Alex Pettyfer in his film debut) hares after a vanful of goons and ends up in the underground offices of MI6 via a photo booth at Liverpool Street station. “So what is this place?” he snorts. “Hogwarts?” The reluctant blond is duly press-ganged into becoming a spy and despatched to Cornwall to discover why a sleazy billionaire (Mickey Rourke) is donating free state-of-the-art computers called Stormbreakers to every school in Britain.

What’s marvellous about the film is the helium mix of English wit and Batman-esque caricature. The shameless cultural poverty will dismay right-thinking parents and critics, but it will thrill everyone else. Bill Nighy is a camp and deadpan joy as the careless boss of the Secret Service, Mr Blunt. He wears Eric Morecambe glasses and a thin moustache, and every line he utters is a clipped and sardonic masterpiece.

Rourke’s twisted villain, Darrius Sayle, runs him close. “You’re never too young to die,” he drools while introducing Rider to his prized and very poisonous giant octopus.

Ghastly memories of being bullied at school by the Prime Minister have turned Rourke into a raging psycho with a taste for revenge and blue eyeshadow. In fact, there isn’t a single adult cameo in the film whom young Rider could possibly trust. But our hero is as shrewd as Sherlock Holmes, and as lethal as Bruce Lee.

This is glorious ham. The film has a Boy’s Own trust in gadgets, and a nostalgic sense of English pluck that brings a tear to the eye. Pettyfer plays Rider with a grace that belies his years. He is disarmingly handsome, clearly intelligent and seemingly inoculated against arrogance. He also provides a stark contrast to Harry Potter — Pettyfer is both gritty and street-smart.

JAMES CHRISTOPHER

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