“I want to kill the selectors!” Shilpa Shetty giggled when I told her that her cheesy horror flick, Darna Marna Hai, in which she is terrorised by killer apples, was being shown as part of the current London India Now celebrations. Shetty, looking splendid in a pink salwar kameez, was at the events’ launch on Tuesday. What did she think of the replica of the Taj Mahal which was floated down the Thames? “I am proud to see the Taj on the Thames,” Shetty beamed, as she was whisked away by her new burly agent. Whatever became of her last UK agent Max Clifford?

Return to the Motherland

British luvvie actress Joanna Lumley attended the launch. Has she ever seen a Bollywood movie? “Sweetie, I loved Rang de Basanti and I recommended it as the Best Foreign Film at this year’s Baftas,” the ab-fab actress told me. Lumley revealed that she was last in the land of her birth three years ago when she visited the Dalai Lama and was looking forward to visiting again in September when the monsoon would hopefully be over. “But you never know about the weather these days,” she sighed.

Big B and Benares

I asked Indian chef Atul Kochhar if he would ever consider naming any of the dishes or drinks on the menu of his Michelin starred Mayfair restaurant Benares after a Bollywood star. Other London Indian restaurants have jumped on the Bollywood bandwagon, one even offering a Shipla Shetty cocktail (non-alcoholic). “Oh yes, I would consider doing so but only for Amitabh Bachchan,” the chef revealed.

All aboard the bolly-boat

At the launch boat party, the champagne and canapés flowed freely. Spotted: London’s mayor Ken Livingston enjoying his bubbly, Goodness Gracious Me British Asian actress Meera Syal making an early exit, Indian actor Bob Brahmbhatt smoking a pipe, Bollywood starlet Shaania Dia sneaking a quick fag on the upper deck, Shilpa Shetty without her mother and most of the Indian cricket team.

Stumped

Dressed in their team’s uniform, the boys in blue are in London for this summer’s first test match between England and India which starts at Lord’s on Thursday. The visitors stuck to orange juice with the exception of the monosyllabic Yuvaraj Singh who answered every question of mine with one word whilst sipping his white vino. Disappointingly, none of the players I spoke to including the captain Rahul Dravid and heartthrob Mahendra Singh Dhoni, had seen the Oscar nominated Lagaan (2001), the best film on cricket.

Partners in fun

This week’s release, the comic caper Partner, reunites funnyman Govinda with bad boy Salman Khan after the recent and tiresome Salaam-e-Ishq. I asked Govinda what he thought about the current Bollywood-London love affair. “I feel great about it and fortunate to be part of this global family,” the actor turned politician turned actor again, told me. I asked Khan why some of his films failed. “Buddy, I needed to buy a house, so I signed all the wrong films,” he stated. Here’s hoping this Partner is the right choice.

The Lion King

Bollywood’s hottest director, Karan Johar, revealed this week plans for a cartoon version of his first blockbuster Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, with animals in the lead roles. Will Shah Rukh Khan's character be played by the king of the jungle? His pet project however is to reunite Bollywood’s favourite couple, Khan and semi-retired married actress Kajol. “Yes, that’s the cast I’d like to have in my film but till everything is on paper, I wouldn’t like to make an official comment,” he stated.

Editor's choice

• The 100 Best Films of the Decade
• 70 facts you didn't know about Marvel
• The 50 Biggest Movies Of 2010