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The South Asian diaspora can be found in all parts of the world. They have been very successful - but has it been at the cost of their Asian heritage? Find out what kind of South Asian you are by taking this British-orientated and totally unscientific test. Record your answers and see what type you are at the bottom of the article.

Family

1. How often do you see your immediate family?

a) All the time, I live with my mum and dad

b) Quite a lot, I live next door to my mum and dad

c) Once a year at Christmas and once at Diwali/Eid

Work

2. Where do you work?

a) In your dad’s shop

b) In IT for a large multinational corporation

c) In public relations

Food

3. When ordering pasta in a restaurant your favourite sauce is?

a) Don’t be silly - why would I be in a restaurant when I can cook it better myself at home

b) Any as long as it contains chilli

c) Pesto made in the Pasta Fresca shop off Via Settembre XX in Genoa, Italy

4. When you want to cook traditional South Asian food - where do you go for advice?

a) I know how to cook and need no advice

b) Your mother

c) Waitrose

Home

5. What kind of house do you own?

a) A three bedroom semi-detached house with an extension at the back that you built yourself

b) A detached mansion in the leafier parts of town and occasionally country

c) A one bedroom penthouse in the centre of town. Your uncle cannot understand why you don’t put up a few plasterboard walls and make it into a three-bedroom flat

Car

6. Look at the pictures at the top of the page, your car is most like..?

a) It still works, so why change?

b) It's practical, but has a badge that says 'I am a success'

c) It only has two seats so that there is no way that your family can get a lift with you

7. Your marque of choice when purchasing a car is?

a) A Mercedes Benz

b) Any 4x4 or sports utility vehicle

c) I don’t aspire to having a car - I’m trying to save the planet and cycle everywhere

Marriage

8. The correct age to get married is?

a) 18-24, around the same age your parents got married

b) When you get fed up about your parents making leading comments about grandchildren

c) Never. You wouldn't give your parents the satisfaction

Sport

9. When watching test cricket, who do you support?

a) Anyone who is playing against England

b) Bangladesh, India or Pakistan

c) Anyone who is playing against Australia

10. England get through to the football World Cup Finals - how far would you like them to get?

a) Out in the first round after being held to a nil-nil draw by a team ranked 133 places below England

b) No preference as long as they do not beat Argentina

c) All the way. In fact you watch all the games in the pub with your Union Jack shorts shouting: “Eng-er-lund, Eng-er-lund, Eng-er-lund . . .”

Arts and culture

11. When watching a Bollywood movie, on how many occasions do you burst into tears?

a) All the time - in fact you never stop

b) Only when the hero sees his entire family killed on his wedding day and his bride is spirited away by the baddies and their gang into the countryside. (Don’t worry - a miracle happens at the end and they are resurrected and the wedding takes place and they have a sing-song.)

c) I don‘t know when to cry - I don’t understand the language

12. Who do you look up to most?

a) The Queen

b) Gandhi

c) Freddie Mercury

Religion

13. On Sundays you can be found in?

a) A gurdwara, mosque, mundir or church

b) At a shopping mall

c) In bed. What do you expect I’ve only been back a few hours after a night out?

Shopping

14. Where do you buy your best clothes?

a) Material by the yard off a roll

b) Boutique shops in Dubai

c) Milan

Health

15. What or who do you turn to during times of ill health?

a) Ayurvedic

b) General medic

c) Homeopathic

What type of Asian are you?

If you answered mainly a's: you are a good old-fashioned Asian - from about 1950 in fact. While we admire your desire to cling on to habits of the past - we suggest that you venture back to India or Pakistan. Things have changed a lot there too you know.

If you answered mainly b's: you have broken out of the conservative straight-jacket that the first-generation of immigrants tied themselves up in. You dare to venture into new territory - a little scary I know - but you’re always harking back to your Indian or Pakistani heritage - even though you’ve only ever been there once.

If you answered mainly c's: you really have gone native. Your heritage has gone out of the window. The closest you’ll get to it is when you go on your holistic weekend that you booked through Times Online.

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