Wendy Ide
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Films directed by Michael Bay are usually like being shouted at by a halfwit for two and a half hours, and Transformers is no exception. The CGI-heavy remake of the utterly rubbish and inexplicably popular 1980s TV cartoon series is a petrol-headed wet dream, more monster truck rally than a movie in any satisfying sense of the word. There’s a particularly charming moment when one of the robots fumbles around in its metal groin area and then pees a stream of diesel on to John Turturro (John, what happened? From Coen brothers collaborator to this?).
That moment more than anything sums up everything I hate about Bay’s braindead machismo – this dumb, thuggish movie is the directorial equivalent of Bay beating his chest and waving his penis at us for a couple of hours.
The human star of the film is Shia LaBeouf. He’s a young actor who has given other, infinitely better performances in previous roles, but here he’s virtually unwatchable. His acting is permanently pitched at panic level, which means he does lots of unintelligible shouting and constantly looks as if he’s about to be drenched with nervous sweat.
LaBeouf (every time I type that name it seems more preposterously silly) plays a high school outsider called Sam Witwicky, a kid seemingly doomed to a life of mediocrity by his father’s unfeeling decision not to buy him a Porsche. Instead poor Sam has to make do with a beaten-up and luridly painted Chevy Camaro, a muscle car with a bit of a limp.
Despite the dents, the Camaro impresses the school hottie, Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox). She has the looks of a cheerleader and the mind of a mechanic (forget about robots that turn into juggernauts, there’s the really farfetched piece of science fiction).
Fox clearly did all her research for the role in a tanning booth. Her skin is mahogany and so is her performance. But that probably doesn’t matter because her main function in the film is simply to be a vehicle for a large pair of breasts.
The human cast is rounded out by Josh Duhamel and the former model Tyrese Gibson who play the most photogenic (and therefore the most likely to survive) of a US Special Forces team that is the first to encounter the most destructive of the Transformers, a cross between a helicopter, a kitchen blender and a giant, rage-filled scorpion made of steel.
But who really cares about the cast? Transformers nerds are too busy comparing notes on the hubcap authenticity and engine size of the real stars of the film, a bunch of CGI robot cars that deliver lines that thud like chunks of metal and spend ages trying to bash the paint off each other. It’s Wrestlemania meets Scrap Heap Challenge. And my goodness it’s boring.
However showy the special effects – and I grudgingly have to admit that the effects are technically impressive – there’s just nothing involving about the action and nothing engaging about the Transformers themselves. There’s also very little to help a novice such as myself tell these robots-in-disguise apart. At the end of a city-smashing, civilian-squashing climax, one of the good transformers (an Autobot rather than a Decepticon) dies. I couldn’t work out which one it was. But then I didn’t care either.
The really sickening thing about this big, loud and deeply stupid movie is how well it has already done at the box office. An interminable franchise of idiotic, obscenely expensive films is practically a certainty. So come on, people, let’s try to postpone the inevitable. Don’t go and see it. Spend your money elsewhere. Let’s disprove the current thinking in Hollywood that anything that makes a lot of noise will automatically make a lot of money.
12A, 146mins

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Only just read this review (today is 10/11/08!) The film is escapist brilliance! Lost count of how many times I have seen it. The cartoon is great in its own way to and I still watch that! Not every film has to be a depression filled melodrama in order for it to be good.
Ash, Doncaster,
I loved the series as a kid but hated this movie with a passion.
Action is no excuse for bad writing, and this movie achieves an entirely new level in bad writing. The story isn't just science fiction (a genre I love), it's nonsensical. Add to that the inane attempts at humor, and this movie fails.
Thomas, Groningen,
This film is fantastic. The action scenes are spectacular, the acting is perfectly good, the story is great, and I also particularly liked the music. The CGI is amazing, they really have done the Transformers franchise justice. It was never meant to be a deep, thoughtful piece of cinema, it was meant to be a fun, loud, stupid, visually-stunning action-packed masterpiece, and that is what it is.
S. Beattie, Southampton, UK
I'm a 38 year old mum and thoroughly enjoyed this film. The look of excitement on my sons face when Optimus first appeared was a moment I will never forget. Its a childrens film which appeals to adults and as far as entertainment goes it certainly fits into my top 5. Great effects, good story but dont take it too seriously. It is only a story. Best film I've seen in a long while. Enjoy.
J N, So'ton, Hants
Why is it that reviewers always start off reviewing films for their face value, but then after a while spend all their time looking for some dark underlying tone to each movie, or think that it only has any real meaning if it is in black and white and in a foreign tounge?
These same reviewers stand there telling that the bad acting and script of so called classic films is the best you will ever see!
This film is what it is. It is a sci fi action film for boys based on cool toys. This film had acting no better and no worse than ever film. The CGI in this one was fantastic and there was plenty of action. What else does a boys action film need?
Maybe it would be a good idea to review films instead of moaning about what you would have prefered!
Gary, Rochester,
interesting that all the papers who've printed a negative review (which is to say most of them) have been deluged with fanboys, as though a coherent script and a bit of wit are unreasonable things to ask of big-budget movies.
perhaps if one were to root around the internet, one would find a site dedicated to the discussion of this line of toys, and an orchestrated campaign to see them taken seriously. a bit like one of those fringe religious groups that emerges now and then, perhaps.
B Stoat, Leamington Spa,
I have to admit I loved the film. It just goes to show from all the support that reviews in my point of view are a waste of time. If I took them seriously I'd never of watched half the I have. The original movie was great so many famous people especially Orson Wells. The very fact that Orson Wells had no interest in the cartoon and was in poor health helped to give his character (Unicron) that God like edge. An excellent cartoon I thought that despite what all the bores of the time sent constructed a good sense of morals within most of the fans. Could the same be said about the media?
David Shaw, St Helens, UK
I went to see Transformers and thoroughly enjoyed it, as well as going with a lot of knowledge about them, being as I enjoyed the series in the 80s. I have a huge collection af the original toys and when I found out about the movie I went to watch it TWICE. The reviewer is wrong to rate it like that and why did she review it iff many reviews say it is a boys film?
Ben Cartwright, Birmingham,
Ouch. PMT?
This film had such a feel-good factor about it that the two-plus hours flew by and most of the people in the cinema that came out had a big grin on their face and good things to say. This film will not appeal to the mind (go see a French film about relationships or whatever for that), but to the gut. Optimus Prime saying "my bad" was, to me, deeply funny. Hard rock music never goes down well within any sort of movie (only in the credits, guys), however - we're far too used to grand orchestral tracks, which seem to suit a 50ft giant robot. Unfortunately they had to be CGI, since there are no 50ft giant robots registered in the Actors Guild of America.
As for the reviewer having a go at Megan Fox's character for being gorgeous and showing intelligence and strength, well sorry that she isn't French and crying about her gay lover while being in love with a married man. Now that WOULD be pointless.
James C, Leighton Buzzard, UK
The original animated film, featuring the combined talents of Orson Welles, Leonard Nimoy and Eric Idle, was always going to be hard to beat. However, I did think the giant-fighting-transforming-robots-as-teenage-dating-angst metaphor that dominated the first half worked much better than the giant-fighting-transforming-robots-as-America-bogged-down-in-Iraq-civil-war-angst metaphor of the second half.
Michael Brunstrom, London, UK
the film is fantansic....i so enjoyed to see it....but my girlfriendwho, like you, thought that the original cartoon was stupid.
bernie, malacca, malaysia
Maybe it would have been sensible for a review to be carried out by someone who appreciated the orginal series instead of someone who has clearly walked into the cinema with no background knowledge at all. I get the impression the reviewer enjoyed dismissing this film and already knew what she was to write before seeing the movie or maybe she got confused by the screen numbers and intented to watch hairspray. She clearly wanted to let of steam about something else and took it out in this review of film.....quite sad actually :-(
Robert , London,
I am a massive fan of the original 80s Transformers (a lot of toys, *hundreds* of issues of the UK comic series, loved the animated movie), and I think Michael Bay made a complete hash of this film.
Why do so many commenters seem to feel that the intellectual level of a movie must be black-and-white? Most action movies hang together better than this. It doesn't take a lot more thought about the script, and it doesn't need to become "Goodnight and Good Luck" or some other more thought-provoking film.
Even the characters were one-dimensional and moronic. I mean really - none of the Autobots can fly, three of the Decepticons can... so the script calls for the central character and central plot device to be evacuated by *helicopter*??
I was really hoping this would be a good film. Not even great, just good. The CG is spectacular, but the writing, acting and camera-work is terrible.
RIP Transformers (except there'll be a sequel, so no rest there)
Matt Sach, London,
This reviewer clearly hates michael bay, and never was into transformers!! This film was simply awesome! It was one of the highlights of my year. The special effects were amazing, the cast very well suited and the film contained humour, emotion and action all in equal quantities. This gets a 10/10 from me, and everyone else i know has gone to see it. My girlfriend, who was never into transformers, and isnt't one for action movies, absolutely loved it too!!
Richard B, Balham, London, UK
Anyone shocked that this is a girls review, nope? No one?
Joe Stole, Cambridge,
I'm sorry but I have to agree with the reviewer on this one. I really wanted to like this movie but the characters were weak and the plot was just non-sensical rubbish (even for this sci-fi/action genre).
Brian , Nijmegen, Netherlands
There seems to be so many readers opposing the reviewer's comments. I am one of them. I loved the film!! It's the best action movie I've seen for years! It's just so COOL!! I've seen it once and thinking about going again. Couple of hours of pure entertainment without too much work for the brain is a great way to relax for a Friday evening!!
J. Huang, London,
I really wish film reviewers were not so pretentious. The film achieved exactly what it set out to do: to be loud, brash, and visually fantastic. And to reinvent the robots. If it achieved all of these ends, and made a bucketload of money at the same time, then it's a success by any measure.
With any luck the internet will eventually put paid to grumpy reviewers unable to contemplate that others might have different tastes in films.
Freddie, London, UK
To JPORDUDE in glasgow,
you say the film was rubbish and cheesy.....
you went to watch a film about duelling robots in america, what did you expect mate?
transformers is pure fantasy / eye candy for those nostalgic enough to appreciate past youth.
steve, luton, beds
Just to recap:
-- Action
-- A hot Megan Fox
-- Action
-- Explosions
-- Action.
Can't wait to see it, your review makes me really want to see the film!
Brian, Cirencester, Gloucestershire
finally ive found reviews that match my thoughts!!
Id rather eat my own hat than watch this film again, it was total rubbish!!! I actually wanted to leave I was soooo bored!
Yes this film had cool special effects, probably some of the best ive seen BUT most of this film consisted of utter rubbish and cheese and the kissing on the car with the sun going down at the end made me wanna claw the eyes from a small infant.
The fight scenes were messy too, you could barely make out who was fighting who and at no point did I see anything imaginative!
This is the worst film ive seen all Summer.
If you liked Pearl Harbour (piffle) you will love this film! Im strongly avoiding Michael Man films from now on. Films like this belong in the past!
I suggest alot of people need to go watch some real films before suggesting this film was in anyway good!
JPORDUDE, GLASGOW,
This film will cost me a fortune!
To explain - It is an amazing cascade of visual effects and CGI - and it will be the single driving force to purchase the Biggest HDI TV and Blueray player that my resources will stretch to!
The film doesnt merit a 1 star - more likely a 4 (after all nothing is perfect)
My Son and his mate sat in amazement as the toys that they had grown up with came to life in sequences that are on a par with Spielberg's Dinosaurs in Jurasic Park, or the lavish recreation of walking talking Trees and hobbits in Jackson's LOTRs.
For anyone that expected a milestone in storytelling - move on by. This is pure action with larger than life characters.
As for the American Pie moment - A humourous moment that will go over the heads of a lot of children.
This film rocks - and that is said with my trousers on!!!!!
Mark kent, Swindon, Wiltshire
I agree with a lot of this. I love the concept of transformers but thought the film was atrocious. I couldn't believe how badly cobbled together it was. One minute I was watching America (obviously portrayed as heroic) v Transformers, the next I was watching totally irrelevant 15 minute American Pie sequences with cheap masturbation gags. Bay had an awesome opportunity to redeem himself with this after his previous pitifully bad films like Pearl Harbour and The Island. But somehow we should have known he'd fail.
Bradley Webb, London, -
Wendy, i think you obviously missed the whole point of this movie. And you also need to do you rown research, it was a comic before the cartoons. It of course isn't going to win any oscars, but it's a good representation of the transformers vibe and that's even though 80% of the film wasn't comic accurate! The best action movie this summer!
PS. "this dumb, thuggish movie is the directorial equivalent of Bay beating his chest and waving his penis at us for a couple of hours".... well I guess there's going to be a lot of M.Bay penis fans out there :]
Sae, Glasgow, Uk
I am a woman and loved this film. Not only does it bring back childhood memories, but it actually was funny, fantastic CG and an all good watch! Trust me this is not one just for the men - if you chose to disagree i am sure that Hair Spray is more up your street!
Sue, Dorchester, UK
As an aside, there was already a "Transformers" movie made in the 80's. It was animated and the interesting thing about it was that Optimus Prime (the leader of the good side) dies about 15 minutes into the film; this was shocking, and disturbing, to the youth who had collected the toys, etc. It's unfortunate that the current film does everything as if by rote and is afraid of taking even the slightest risk.
cinephile, chicago,
The author of this article either grew up before or after the 80âs and was insanely jealous that their toys werenât as cool, or enjoyed playing with Care Bears, Rainbow Bright, Strawberry Shortcake and the like. However, I do admit I was a tad bit disappointed with the story line and GMâs bid to have all the Autobots resemble their vehicle lineup instead of keeping the original vehicles from the cartoon.
shane, Gilbert , Arizona, USA
Ask a 9 year old boy what he thought of the film. This was for them not for those of us on the other side of that great divide. You have to remember Saturday morning Pictures- The Lone Ranger and Buck Rogers were awful but we saved every penny to get there. Lets also hear it for the CGI.
Tim, Basildon, Essex
Sounds Great....
I've got to see this on the weekend....
Bring on the testosterone feuled metal death orgy...
Murv, Durham, UK
Perhaps the Times sent the wrong person to see this film? If you go in wanting to hate it, you'll come out hating it, and it sounds like Ms Ide was dreading this assignment for weeks, judging by her tone. I haven't seen it yet, but I certainly won't be put off watching Transformers by a review as bitter and resentful as this - it's not an impartial critique by any conceivable stretch.
Neil S, Glasgow, Scotland
J, MIlton Keynes, has it spot on. This review demonstartes yet again the tediously sanctimonious attitude of so many reviewers. Of course it's mindless nonsense, it's an action film based on a cartoon about giant robats that shape shift into cars. What precisely were you expecting apart from fights, explosions and car chases? For those of us who hold down jobs that require intense concentration and provide intellectual stimulation a little bit of light relief is wonderfully liberating for the mind.
On a personal note, last Friday I went to the ballet, tonight I'm off to see Transformers.
TD, London, UK
Megan Fox alone is worth the entrance fee.
The fact that you add Spielberg and Bay into the mix mearly adds to the fact that you have to watch this movie.
Paulo, Manchester,
Thanks for the honest review Wendy. I dont believe for a minute that your opinion comes from u being a women, a Londoner, or even a film critic. I find it a bit odd that people are offended by criticism of what is just a trivial movie. Maybe people feel like their enjoyment of the movie is being spoilt before they have chance to see it... if that's the case, the best idea would be to read film reviews at all.
Matt, Kurosawa, Oxford, England
Should have gone to SpecSavers
Phil Gooch, Tamworth,
Wendy Ide is an established film critic and writer for The Times. She has previously been the Film Editor of Dazed & Confused magazine and has contributed to UK Elle and The Sunday Herald. She is also a regular contributor on BBC radio and television. So she's probably right with her sentiment re Hollywood, but she is wrong with her choice of film to level that at, because it ignores the power of nostalgia. When we were all 9 years old Transformers was not utterly rubbish at all, it was the most popular entertainment franchise for boys at the time in the UK and US after He Man (and the Masters of the Universe). For the chance to see just one CGI transformation of Optimus Prime from rig to robot I will pay full fare, and take 8 of the 30-something lads from the office with me.
James, london,
LOL! Thanks for a great piece of writing that really made me laugh. You know a film is going to be great when it gets a bad review like that. And it was!
Mike Adams, Madrid, Spain
Is it because there are no girl transfomers???
D Navekar, Leicester,
Oh please! It was humorous, wonderfully escapist and the the effects perfectly suited to a big screen! The big screen does this kind of film justice and is highly inappropriate for more heavy duty films which I prefer to watch in the intimacy of my home without the blowing of noses and crackling of food wrappers.
There's a place in the world for more than one type of entertainment and to approach Transformers with an idea it's going to be anything more than a shallow special effects romp is delusional to say the least.
Lindsay M, England,
You seem deeply disappointed. But perhaps you should remember that this is a summer action film. It's not an art-house social commentary. So review it for what it is, not for what you wish it was.
Paul Mahalo, Hull,
I live and work in Qatar. Why the hell did they make it look like we go to work on camels and live in boody tents? I hope none of the locals see it.........We'll have Land Cruiser mayhem if they do (local joke, sorry).
Chris Butler, Doha, Qatar
You guys are nuts. What were you expecting? gone with the wind? This is a great fun movie. Very entertaining, you can't ask for more of a thrill ride. Movies are there to entertain us and this certainly does. To give it one star is a joke, come on, you obviously went in to the movie wanting to hate it and never gave it a chance.
Jeff Anderson, London,
This has to be one of the worst reviews of a film i've ever read in The Times. I didn't watch the original cartoon, but the film was without doubt the best big budget summer movie of the last 5 years. I didn't have any problem following who was who and the film was entertaining from beginning to end. All types of film, blockbusters and arthouse, have good and bad examples. This is one of the best of the former. Wendy obviously has no idea what makes a good action film from a bad one, but if she is writing for The Times I would have expected her to have taken the time to find out. Although I guess the blame for such a poor quality review lies not with Wendy but whoever decided to allow her to review the film in the first place.
Mark, Glasgow, UK
Unfortunately most of world is inhabited by idiots and most of those idiots like this film. Directors and films makers should take their privileged position to help educated you bunch of fist chewing idiots. But let's face it even if you were shown a good film, you wouldn't even realise.
This film is terrible!
willcomment, exeter,
I've seen this film and whilst it's not everything I hoped it would be this review does do it a disservice.
It's very funny (which I didn't expect) and the action is phenomenal.
I confess to being a Transformers geek in my youth (the original 1986 animated film was a childhood favourite of mine) and I do have some grievances about this film. The real problem with it (from my admittedly skewed point of view) is that you never really get to know any the Autobots/Decepticons properly and so it's a little hard to care about them. The story is patent rubbish and that's a bit sad - the old Transformers comics/cartoons did actually have some good stories to tell.
But hey ho - it's still worth watching - but original Transformer fans would do well to leave their expectations at home. This is basically a comedy / action movie with Transformers tacked on as afterthought.
Oh and for the record it was a BAD Transformer that died- not a good one. 10 points for paying attention Wendy!
John Reilly, London,
Agree with many of the comments - it's an amusing trashy movie with fighting giant robots. Which, by the way, is the secret of it being 'inexplicably popular' - giant transforming fighting robots with names like 'Optimus Prime.' If that proposition doesn't work for you, you aren't going to like it... Take a pill and relax.
Roger Braintree, London,
"She has the looks of a cheerleader and the mind of a mechanic (forget about robots that turn into juggernauts, thereâs the really farfetched piece of science fiction)."
well said, a woman couldn't possibly be attractive AND good at anything
Andy, London,
Luke, you complain the film is has OTT action scenes, , is loud and the visuals flashy........its a film about robots that transform into cars, planes and tanks....what exactly did you expect, robots tip toeing around the place trying to keep quiet!!!
As for the review, well I think Wendy needs to dump the dungarees and bovver boots, grow her hair out and find herself a good man....she is obviously missing something in her life. I took my 5 year old son and we both loved every minute of it...chrsit when Optimus Prime and the Autobots arrived to save mankind, I had to hold back a tear in my eye!!!
Best film for years (of its type) so don't let this mean spirited and cynical reviewer put you off
Steve Jones, Manchester, UK
So the reviewer is a person who thinks the original show was ''rubbish" and quite clearly hates Bay's work. Why am I not surprised by the content of the review? It's painfully obvious that the reviewer's disdain for Bay's work is clouting her judgement.
It's a summer action flick, not vying for Oscars, never intending to be 'deep' and 'meaningful', meant to appeal to both old fans of the show (nostalgia) and a new audience who're just there to see some action, see things blowing up and go 'WOW, that was cool'! What's so wrong with that? This movie is great fun, the action sequences are mind-blowing - it belongs to a different genre, and as other people have already stated, the movie is the best action movie of the summer.
Salman Malik, Islamabad,
You obviously havent got a clue about films! Transformers is one of the best films I have seen for a while and kept me on my seat throughout. I'd def go see it again in the cinema. The effects were brilliant and so were the actors. I never watched the cartoon when I was younger but I loved every minute of this brilliant film! Well done Bay!
Hannah , Peterborough, United Kingdom
Thank you Wendy!
I'm just so glad that I'm not going through some profound depression. Not alone anyways...
After all why else could I not enjoy this "brilliant movie" that some friends (male and female) have watched 3 times already?
Why else did I feel the movie was overlong and too slow-paced and devoid of any logic and passable acting...
Maybe I was just disappointed there was no Hot Rod. Special-effects were decent though...
Winston, Singapore,
I liked the original cartoon and was disappointed in the movie. The main difference (and main disappointment) is that while the Transformers were the main characters in the cartoon (with ancilliary human characters), in the movie they play a secondary role to a ridiculous love story. To be true, that is the way to make a very successful summer film, but it just takes away from character development of the title characters! There was a lot of potential to make an interesting science fiction film and Michael Bay sucked it all up until all he could see was the zeroes on his paycheck. Still, the film IS entertaining and technically very impressive. Also, while Megan Fox may just be a vehicle, those were two of the few redeeming aspects of the film.
E. Hulley, Ithaca, New York, U.S.
Well I suppose it you want to be snippy about an overt action movie, it does lack subtlety...but who the heck goes to a shoot-em-up movie for subtlety?
At two and and a half hours, it's over long, VERY noisy, frenetic and has almost no plot at all. But then it's exciting, visually arresting, enjoyable escapist nonsense - in fact what most people WANT when they sink into a movie seat. They want escape from reality and to feel they've had their 10 bucks worth - something which I imagine isn't high on the list for a movie critic. Ignore 'em! Go see and enjoy.
jessica holborn, knutsford,
Where do you find people like Wendy? its not the same kind of people that think the war in iraq is legal are they? most likely.
Transformers was a great cartoon, the toys did well too, the movie was superbly done.
Its designed to be a simple enough plot, for youngsters to follow and amazing special effects to shock and awe elders, its not 'the green mile' or 'silence of the lambs', its designed to keep the young ones hooked and the elders awake.
It works, Bay did a great job! it could have been better, but then, we can say that, afterall when was the last time we directed a movie?
Wendy, get a life! Burst your bubble and smell the roses, theres more to life than hamlet.
Rick Granger, Reading, UK
This film is garbage. Even as mindless, spectacular entertainment it fails utterly, thanks to the incomprehensible action sequences, non-stop military briefings and woefully, clunking fratboy attempts at pop-culture humour.
I can turn my brain off and enjoy a lot of trashy things, but TRANSFORMERS asks that you disengage not only your brain, but your eyes and ears, your sense of humour and your empathy with other human beings.
I never thought I'd say this, but I'd rather watch Independence Day.
NeilR, London,
I watched BABEL and thought it was the most tedious piece of ... ever. But a lot of people disagreed with me. I suppose you can only write based on you own impressions. Even so the choice of someone with so many preconceptions to review a film is just stupid to say the least. Mind you i think this negative review has been more then balanced out by the people who the film was made for.
P.S. I thought the film rocked.
Ben Andrews, Brisbane,
You hate all the manly, macho stuff, presumably because it's sexist, yet you proclaim that a hot girl with a knack for mechanics is true science fiction. You fail.
Sara, Cleveland, OH
Its obvious your looking for an emotional response and you never watched Transformers back in the 80's (generation 1). Otherwise you could appreciate why ppl liked it so much. The best thing about TF was not the action but the adult themed dialogue and the robots interaction with each other. Name another cartoon in the 80's that dealt with death, honor, and personal responsibilty? Its commonplace now to have those themes in anime but back then in '85 those themes were revolutionary. You would understand why Bay's movie doesn't come close to the original. The only thing that resembles TF is the characters names and the voice of optimus prime (peter cullen). Otherwise this could be another robot film. Bay changed the story completly to "appeal to a broader audience". Bay didn't even like TFs until he started working on the film. With that said and being a TF fan Bay's film is enjoyable and it was better than this year's crop of big tent films: Spiderman, Pirates, Potter.
Ron , Los Angeles, CA
Wendy Ide is far too generous as she gave Transformers one more star than it deserves. Such dross isn't excused on the grounds that it's supposed to be mindless action. If you want to see a good action flick then Die Hard 4.0 has buckets loads more bravado and is actually exciting - I nearly fell asleep when Optimus Prime gave his brain numbing speach about the human potential for good for the umpteenth time. Ignoring the scatter gun approach to introducing an excessive number of characters whose only contribution to proceedings seemed to be to compete for the most one-dimensional character award, the most disappointing thing was the supposed 'action.' Whilst undoubtably polished, the fight scenes between the Transformers were an uncomprehensible clattering of metal in which drama was sacrificed for frantic tedium. And for the record, I loved the Transformers cartoon as a child but refuse to be uncritical through unconditional loyalty to a charmless hollywood blockbuster. Avoid.
Daniel Whittle, Leamington Spa, England
I have seen the movie twice and I can understand why this guys doesnt like it, when he is ripping it to pieces I can attach all of his gripes to specific parts of the movie. He's right. BUt he is wrong wrong wrong too. Every movie that comes out doesnt have to touch the soul, be one hundred percent politically correct every moment of the film. Not every movie has to be a smart movie. I enjoy a myriad of films, dramas, comedies, independent, foreign, action and on and on. I know going to see Transformers, I was going to see a movie that didnt rely to heavily on dialogue but relied more on huge explosions, environments that jumped from one to the other quickly, and more. I also knew this was a movie inspired by toys. For what the movie was supposed to be, who the movie was made for, the movie was spot on. This movie wasn't made for this guy, clearly. It was made for someone who wants see some amazing action, not struggle to follow the pllot, maybe see a hot babe and enjoy. Relax dude.
Shane Bowler, Annapolis, MD
"Letâs disprove the current thinking in Hollywood that anything that makes a lot of noise will automatically make a lot of money."
Does McDonalds threaten the existence of the newest Gareth Ramsey restaurant? Do comic books kill the market for Van Gogh prints? Your logic is deeply flawed. Plenty of loud, obnoxious wannabe-blockbusters fall by the wayside. The films may be dumb but the audiences are not. The best survive- Transformers is without a doubt the best action movie of the summer and should be viewed and appreciated in that context. I'll happily welcome sequels.
D., Maynooth, Ireland
Not interested what 'Wendy Ide' has to say...
What does she know about Transformers, Power Rangers, Pokemon, Yu-gi-ho etc? Zilch...
My 3 boys will love it, I will sit through it with them and enjoy it as well. Can't wait...
Jeff Botterill, Weybridge, UK
I'm afraid Wendy Ide has no concept of a good, fun movie! This film is without a doubt the best film of this summer! Not because of storyline or casting! Because it is great fun, and something entirely different! No-one expects the viewer to take this film seriously! Itâs about alien robots landing on Earth to find a cube! Obviously not an Oscar Contender but I would like to ask Wendy why this film has already grossed over $450,000,000 worldwide in just three weeks? Is it because the millions of movie-goers wanted to watch 'the CGI-heavy remake of the utterly rubbish and inexplicably popular 1980s TV cartoon'? No! Thatâs just your narrow-minded opinion! Itâs because this film is unique, funny, cutting-edge and a trip back down memory-lane for some! Enjoy the Film
Sam, London, England
An awful review. Do not pay attention. Yes, there are small plot holes, and yes it can be a struggle to make out one transformer from another during the frenetic fight sequences, but one of the best films I've seen in the past 12 months......cracking 'brain-removal' action movie.
B. Hayward, Inverness, U.K
Reviewed by Wendy i.e. a woman. Which explains the tone of this review. Heck, i'd be equally critical reviewing a chick flick...so you're excused.
But your seething anger makes me wonder if you didn't watch or review the movie on an off-day...i won't speculate why you were having an off-day, but suffice to say, every woman has them.
Bryan, Malta, Malta
Never felt compelled to comment before but this is the worst review i have ever read. This movie is so much fun and thorougly enjoyable. Its an action movie about transforming metal aliens.... lighten up....
T Smith, London,
Wendy, your review is awesome.
It's so refreshing to read something so blatantly truthful and witty by someone who isn't already tainted by the Transformers' history. You've gone in and watched it as just a movie alone and have come out disappointed. I value your honesty!
I chuckled for ages at work after reading it and can't wait to see if you're right about the film! Thank you!!
Lauren Bell, High Wycombe, Bucks
'The CGI-heavy remake of the utterly rubbish and inexplicably popular 1980s TV cartoon series'
Way to go for being objective. Something very popular is rarely 'inexplicable' - what you mean is you personally don't get it. And I guess it's CGI-heavy because it's actually about giant robots that transform into vehicles and, well, CGI is the way to go with these things.
Is the Simpsons Movie perhaps a bit animation-heavy?
C'mon. It's a good, entertaining and visually spectacular romp, which (thankfully) doesn't betray its cartoon origins with delusions of grandeur or epic pomposity.
Jason Goarke, Dublin, Ireland
Anyone who openly states that they hate the director and the source material may not be the best person to review a film.
Chris, Manchester,
I was a fan of the cartoon and I thought Bay's movie was abysmal. Michael Bay has created a loud, incoherent, mess of a film with all of his trademark flashy visuals, cheesy dialogue, bizarre sub-plots and ludicrously OTT action scenes. What Bay can't do however is make a simple genre movie. In the hands of Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson, this might have worked.
I love fun blockbusters, but this was frankly unoriginal fare from a man who has carved out a career as the worst director currently working in Hollywood.
Luke Smith, Wolverhampton,
Somehow I get the feeling that Wendy Ide was the last person the producers and studio had in mind as the target audience when deciding to shoot this film.
Steve, Miadenhead, Berks
It was great to watch, inexplicably bizzare in places and lost the plot a little at times. That aside it was fun an visually stunning, particularly the babe. Maybe abit long and it didn't get to the crux of the plot quick enough but who cares, it's based on a cartoon ! i also agree - sending a woman to a film she obviously won't enjoy and asking her to review it ... I think you need a re-shuffle!
Bert, London, UK
wow thats definately one opinion, then again as Helene says, its like sending Beckham to an art review and expecting a good review, this is summer blockbuster material, its better than pirates, its short sharp and LOUD! its for kids of the 80's, and sci-fi lovers, not for those wanting a deep intelectual plot - who cares?! and yes megan fox is hot, then again how many "intelectual" films have large amounts of "artistic" nudity? :)
to be fair i loved the film, i turned my brain off, relaxed and watched it, i'm going again this week with mates and we'll turn our brains off and have some good fun! why doesnt the review compare teletubbies to pulp fiction next time?!
rob, london, uk
I was not interested to see the original animated movie; nor was I ever into the Transformer-mania that kids everywhere seem to adore. Then I watched Michael Bay's Transformer. IT. WAS. FUN. Something this critic lost when pursuing a career in journalism. I wouldn't like to be any part of her world.
Anton Lyn, Guangzhou, China
To be honest this film was made for a very select audience; those that played with the toys/watched the cartoons in the eighties and their current families and friends. Sending somebody who I'm guessing doesn't fit into such group is just asking for a negatively biased and probably unrealistic review.
Yes there were plots holes and I think I saw a camera crane in a scene near the beginning. It's not perfect, arthouse and at all intelligent but to ask people to boycott it because you don't want anymore films like this is just ludicrous. I like arthouse, intelligent and groundbreaking films, but I occasionally want to see something mind-numbing; the fact that I was able to reminisce my youth ever so slightly was a bonus.
In essence because of this the reviewer simply didn't get what the film was about and I think she ended up not caring.
Presh, Liverpool, UK
Tranformers 5 stars
Reporting 1 Star
J, London,
The reviewer is simply wrong. Transformers is one of the best movies of the year!
Scott, Houston, Texas, USA
send a woman to do a mans job, this is what you get. wendy clearly missed the point of the movie altogether.
jamie, london,
I agree that it isn't exactly an intelligent film, but then, it isn't meant to be. Hollywood responds to the dictates of the free market in the same way as most modern industries do and the truth is that many people enjoy seeing big robots hit each other noisily.
David, Edinburgh,
I guess we wont be seeing this lady in line when Transformers 2 or Transformers 3 come out. Ha Ha Ha!!
Shane Bowler, Annapolis, MD
So I guess you are all mad because Miss Ide was absolutly correct in her review? Or is it because, like me you wasted 2 hrs on an absolutly abismal piece of trash.
Ed, Santa Rosa, California, USA
What was that line about half-wit shouting? ....apt. Why send someone who despised the cartoon to see the film? Wendy, if you don't like burgers, don't go to a burger bar; if you don't like swimming, don't go to a pool...see where i'm going? Your invective is way beyond the bounds of objectivity. How pointless.
Will, London,
You aren't a playstation widow by any chance are you?
Luke, London,
Wow - what a one-sided take on, arguably, the best action movie of the summer. Yes - the script has many truly clunking lines and the cast is too obscenely beautiful to function but that would be missing the point. It's about the robots.
The Spielberg/Bay team has managed to incorporate a massive amount of fun into this film and it was infinitely more amusing than the massively overhyped Simpsons movie playing next door.
Sam Sprot, London,
This review is just plain wrong.
I'm normally quite respectful with regard to the perspectives of others in such heavily subjective matters as books, music and films, but this reeks of bias or, at the very least, a reviewer venting after a bad day.
The film, while unlikely to impress the arthouse crowd, is solidly entertaining fare.
Arni Kallis, Cape Town, South Africa
I've seen the film 5 times now at various press events and charity screenings and I mst say that this is the most negative review that I have read. The film is by no means a masterpiece, but its certaintly not a one star film. Having read the Times review of the Simpsons, its seems to me that perhaps some change to your staff is required
Steve, Staines,
i agree with paul,this film is an awesome way to lose yourself for 2hrs..great fun..people were cheering and clapping in the cinema i was at...best film this summer!
mark, harrogate,
The CGI-heavy remake of the utterly rubbish and inexplicably popular 1980s TV cartoon series.
Sounds to me like Wendy Ide had her mind made up before seeing the movie.
Would you send a classical music critic to a heavy metal concert ? I thought not.
Jesper Dalager, Copenhagen, Denmark
I have not seen the movie, but after this review probably will. The reviewer forgets that in reality it is the paying movie-goer who decides how good a movie is. If you do not like "shoot-em-up," "death and destruction" sci-fi why bother to go and why bother to review.
This movie was not made for "London" female film reviewers.
barry samways, London, UK
Omg I was just about to read this then i realised it was written by a woman! lol Transformers is a manly film for men who havent grwon up yet! rock on!
Johnty, London,
Yes it is loud. Yes it is frenetic. Yes the editing in places is poor & the plot is a clunker. (Don't need the cartoon backstory - it helps if you do)
BUT this IS a piece of Summer blockbuster cheese that will have them Baying (sorry) for more...
raj awasti, London, UK
That has to be the worst review ever learn to chill and have some fun with it i thougt it was amazing!!!!
Leon, Doncaster,
helene johnson, I'm female and I'm looking forward to seeing transformers, the only real fact to be taken from this review is that those that liked transformers as children will like this now. Other than that there is no guarantee for anyone, male or female. Really in 2007 I would expect a more intelligent response from people on the male/female divide.
Dawn, B'ham,
I totally agree with Wendy on this one. Putting the big boobed 'hotty' and the fancy CGI effects aside, this movie collapses on it's arse! Cheesey script and the ever so sickening, 'american armed forces do what's right to save the world' scam, made my blood curdle. They also made Qatar look like some third world country... What was all that about?!?!
Rory Munro, Doha, Qatar
Take no notice of the above review. The film is great fun and 146mins of escapist nonsense. My wife and I loved it, and we are far removed from being 'petrolheads'. It seems like this reviewer could have written her comments before seeing the film. A sad diatribe from one sulky, childish 'critic'.
Paul, Portsmouth,
Wow. I've met quite a few haters, but nobody who's been quite that negative about the film. Everyone I know who's seen it has enjoyed themselves quite a bit..even my boyfriend who, like you, thought that the original cartoon was stupid.
Nancy Smythe, Montreal, Canada
Did you even see the film? Because it seems like you pulled this review out from your rear end. The film is fantastic...and even I have major issues with it. Doesn't change the fact that it was amazing in almost every aspect.
Jarek Zabczysnki, Wappingers Falls, NY
Why send a female reporter to review what is obviously a film for the other sex - its like sending David Beckham to an arthouse film and expecting a constructive review
helene johnson, sydney,
What!!!! What on earth do you want. Its an action movie. About time to. At 40 something I'm fed up with the deeply meaningful, depressing brain fodder that passes for entertainment sometimes. I like to come out of the cinema breathless rather than bored or worse still ready to slash my wrists.
Give us a break and just lose your brain and suspend you intellect for a few hours and enjoy the ride.
J, MIlton Keynes, UK