There is some depressing slack-jawed idiocy and sentimental fluff on offer in The Accidental Husband. Uma Thurman stars as Emma, a radio talk-show host who guides her impressionable listeners through their relationship crises with well-practised soundbites about being realistic in their choice of man. This backfires when a young woman dumps her fiancé Patrick, a rough and ready firefighter played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and he swears to teach Emma a lesson about minding her own business. Bizarrely, he does this by hacking into the county hall records office and “marrying” Emma without her knowledge. This proves problematic for Emma's genuine wedding plans, with the stalwart publisher Richard (Colin Firth, maintaining his dignity despite the dismal quality of the material).

The mutual attraction between Emma and Patrick is a preposterous piece of plotting: she's a highly-strung Manhattan princess; he's a soccer-playing, beer-swilling, blue-collar bloke. Certainly opposites sometimes attract but surely they need to be in the same universe first? But the most contrived device in the film is the “ethnic colour”, courtesy of Patrick's neighbours, a family of Asian stereotypes who chuckle and chatter winningly, like animated wallpaper.

12A, 90mins

Editor's choice

• U2 at Nou Camp Stadium, Barcelona
• The 50 Best Movie Villains
• The 15 golden rules of theatre etiquette