Olly Blackburn’s gory Donkey Punch is the sort of fabulously deranged British horror thriller that inspires hysteria for all the wrong reasons. Three secretaries from Leeds pitch up for a girly weekend in Majorca and end up toasting the sunset with four oversexed public schoolboys on a posh yacht. Drink and drugs fuel the soft-porn party romps until Josh “donkey punches” Sian Brecken’s grunting blonde and inadvertently breaks her neck. This is not the kinky reaction Josh expected from this fabled sexual manoeuvre. “It doesn’t look good,” agrees Bluey, who has managed to capture the action on his camcorder.

Pure panic transforms this compellingly awful soap into a crazed Jacobean bloodbath. The lads (Robert Boulter, Tom Burke, Julian Morris and Jay Taylor) chase the remaining terrified girls (Jaime Winstone and Nichola Burley) around the boat, determined to murder the evidence. It’s a total scream. The scene where one of the indistinguishable boys is mangled to death by an outboard propeller is a collector’s item.

18, 95 minutes

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