The Jennifer Lopez-produced El Cantante could do with a dose of narrative Viagra. An ostensible biopic of the 1980s “Salsa King” Hector Lavoe, it opens in grand form, in 1985, with Lavoe (Marc Anthony, J-Lo’s hubby) being forcibly dragged from a crack-house to a Manhattan concert, where he wows the crowds with his nifty Latino beats.

The rest of the film, however, beginning with a flashback to 1963, is a soft-pedalled account of Lavoe’s rise to fame and his drug-related downfall that has more in common with the biopic parody Walk Hard than anything as muddy as real life. In a postmodern twist, J-Lo plays Lavoe’s feisty wife Puchi, and thus we get to see what life chez Lopez would be like if they were coke-snorting gun-toting nouveau riche simpletons rather than the fabulous superstar lovers that they clearly are.

15, 106 minutes

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