Brendan Bourne
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IT wasn’t a disaster more of a crash landing. Scooch, Britain’s Eurovision Song Contest entry touched down in second to last position last night.
Confounding unpatriotic critics who cruelly predicted a rerun of Jemini’s “nul point” debacle of 2003, Scooch’s tribute to high camp Flying the Flag (for You) scored a modest 19 points thanks to Malta and Ireland, who came last. Britain’s entry was always an outside bet, with Ladbroke’s odds yesterday narrowing from 28-1 to 20-1.
Resplendent in tricoloured budget airline chic, the group — David Ducasse, Natalie Powers, Caroline Barnes and Russ Spencer set new standards for runway fashion at Stansted and Luton this season.
They had made their act more Eurocentric by removing Union flags from airline trolley props and recorded versions of their song in a variety of languages. Alas to no avail.
The band, who had a top 10 hit in 2000, reformed specially for Eurovision and were chosen by BBC viewers.
After a close battle with Ukraine, Serbia’s Marija Serifovic emerged winner with her big ballad Molitva. “Do you remember Abbott and Costello?” joshed veteran Eurowag Sir Terry Wogan, rather unkindly noting the singer’s resemblance to the comic actor Lou Costello.
Ukrainian drag queen Verka Serduchka, a Teletubby lookalike, was favourite with his dance tune Dancing Lasha Tumbai. Dressed in a sparkling silver foil top and shorts Serduchka enthusiastically sashayed across the stage and into second place, backed by a pair of butch male dancers in spangly costumes. “That’s the kind of stuff they like here,” noted Sir Tel. Ukrainian icon Sergei Prokofiev may well have turned in his graves.
Wogan was incredulous as neighbour voted for neighbour.
“People say ‘This is ludicrous’ but they still do it,” he noted, correctly predicting Croatia would cast its maximum 12 points for Serbia.
Last night’s contest from Helsinki was the 52nd, watched by a pan-European audience estimated at 100m.
When it launched in 1956 the contest was an elegant black tie affair and an ambitious techie project linking seven countries. Little could those pioneer broadcasters have imagined the spectacle into which it would evolve.
This year a record 42 nations sacrificed taste and centuries of cultural heritage to compete.

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It's about time this show was put to rest. Not because of any tactical voting, just because it's such a bad show and has had it's day. I think the BBC just keep it on to give Terry Wogan something to do each year.
To be honest the UK shouldn't have won. In fact anyone who even voted for that pathetic excuse for a song needs a good kicking. I wouldn't have given it any points either.
Fact is, the voting is political and predictable, but the show in general is just old, outdated and tired regardless of how they try to spruce it up and modernise it.
Maverick, Belfast, UK
" the contest was an elegant black tie affair " you said this,did you forget you sent scooch????omg hilarious....I am sorry to say this,but you guys are taking yourself too serious. Just because you are looking at east europe as an "small,not important" countries that doesn`t make you big.stop being so pathetic.
Ana, Sofia, Bulgaria
Erik from the Netherlands.
Yugoslavia has been part of the Eurovision song contest since 1961.
Lana, Paris, France
This is a comparison of the ranking with votes from all contries (left) and the ranking with only votes from contries in western europe (right):
All votes: Western votes
1 Serbia 1 Serbia
2 Ukraine 2 Ukraine
3 Russia 3 Turkey
4 Turkey 4 Russia
5 Bulgaria 5 Bulgaria
6 Belarus 6 Hungary
7 Greece 7 Greece
8 Armenia 8 Armenia
9 Hungary 9 Romania
10 Moldova 10 Bosnia
11 Bosnia 11 Sweden
12 Georgia 12 Moldova
13 Romania 13 Germany
14 Macedonia 14 Belarus
15 Slovenia 15 Finland
16 Latvia 16 Georgia
17 Finland 17 Spain
18 Sweden 18 Latvia
19 Germany 19 Lithuania
20 Spain 20 Slovenia
21 Lithuania 21 Macedonia
22 France 22 France
23 UK 23 UK
24 Irland 24 Irland
Where do you see the strong effects of block voting and hijacking?
Geir Frysjøenden, Bodø, Norway
I'm sorry but Alex from London and Italy. What the hell? You say "put the might of your expertise, support, and promotion behind it"! We do, we pay for most of the competition every year!!!! We promote it, we work it and we try our hardest based on our interests mixed with what we think is euro pop. You can't type that we don't try cause we do!
Chris, Bristol,
The whole Eurovision contest has turned into a farce, but I am said to say that if it has you British have no one to blame but yourselves. You are the ones with the biggest music industry in Europe and this contest would and will never work unless you put the might of your expertise, support, and promotion behind it. But unfortunately from the very beginning you always saw it as something to denigrate, poke fun and act superior to. Think of it as just a measure of how weighty is your input is in the European music world that Eurovision has actually become as grotesque as you said it was for fun years ago. So, of you want to reform the whole thing, stop saying 'they should...' and say 'we are going to...' because you British are the only ones who can make it an event worth watching. Or do you just prefer to complain and do nothing? As an Italian, I am just glad we pulled out of this farce years ago and forgot the whole thing: no Italian media reported the contest this morning.
Alex, London and Italy,
Let's have a ESC old style!! and let them have a balkaneasterwhatever songcontest!!
GB pays a lot of money for joining!and can join every year with Germany and France...We(the Netherlands) don't even got in de final for 3 years now :( hahaha....and must say...the songs are not to bad......
YOUTUBE Edsilia Rombly !!! with "on top of the world". you all love it i'm sure....
I Read the papers in Germany, Holland and Belgium and Brittain and they all say the same!! BOYCOT!! and Balkan blah blah....SO let's have A ESC old style!!!!!
Erik, Enschede, the Netherlands
quality of this year's competition wasn't that bad - at least there was a wide range of music genres, different performances etc. from ukraine to germany.
with regards to voting, it is obvious that neighbouring countries are used to each other's musical traditions. also, diaspora will always vote for they mother countries, hence turkey will always get a lot of votes from germany, for instance. tough.
with regards to politics - yes, some may say our departing pm's 'cruel to be kind' foreign policy didn't make uk the most popular country in europe - however, i'm not convinced whether that really matters in a pop music contest. in addition, weren't croatia and serbia in a war few years ago?
finally, congratulations to the singer who relied on her song and her voice. no gimmicks, no bare flesh, no sex overtures, gay or straight, no bad translation into english...
luckily for uk, it qualifies directly every year, so europe has to bear it whether they like it or not... politics, eh?
radiohead, london, uk
the voting system is an absolute fraud.I´d prefer better to go back to juries system.Under the current televoting format it´sure that 12 points are distributed as follow
-Germany to Turkey
-Cyprus to Greece
-Spain to Romania
and so on
Enrique, Tenerife, Spain
A simple solution to the block-voting - let every vote given to a neighbouring country count as half a vote.
That'll reduce the effect of block voting 50%, allowing the voices of the voters who vote based on their judgement on who has the best song/perrformance outweigh the voices of the purely political voters.
Jarno, Helsinki,
You are so jealous. I can't believe it. How about a congratulation to Maria?
Yaz, London, UK
Indeed, Scooch more Easyjet than BA Club Class... Eurovision isn't really a showcase for "proper" music, (the exception being Germany I thought last night - nicely arranged, catchy song). A rock artist / song is a good idea for 2008, perhaps Morrissey will make another bid for Eurovision glory...?!
Adam, Southampton,
All I can say is lets submit a good old Hard Rock song. Look how finland did 2 years ago with Lordis "Hard Rock Hallelujah" they didn't win ever but then Rock came along.
Mr T, London,
To Norfolkbilly,
Considering you did not use your opportunity to vote, don't critise those who did.
Disappointed, Bradford
Dave Procter, Bradford, UK
Although a good entry won and the western European efforts were pretty lame, "farce voting" was taken to new heights or depths for Helsinki.
The contest has been completely hijacked by most countries enthusiastically practising the traditional Scandi / Baltic / East Euro / Balkans "political or friend preference" voting system.
If it is felt that this excuse for a love thy near-neighbour musical jamboree at the expense of the western countries is worth reforming, yet another judging system must be tried.
Perhaps a panel of hooded, masked heroes promised a new identity in South America ?
David Wayland, Tallinn, Estonia
Hi, I do really think we should not enter this euro farce any more and save tv airtime for something like "Watching Paint Dry".I am often ashamed to be British when I see the way which other countries see us!
Let's face it as a nation we are portrayed badly among the rest of Europe because we believe in human rights and freedom of speech. But I have to make it known to the whole of Europe and beyond, that " I, as an individual ,a non religious, non gay,non cross-dressing,non politically motivated,non member of any group what so ever type of person absolutely did not vote for our entry and it does not represent the musical or entertainment views of the nation and in no way is it worthy the title of Britian's entry,
To be correct it is should be called "The nominated entry of the few who reacted to a phone in request "
So please don't describe this entry as the nations choice.
Must go now the test card is on and I don't want to miss it.........
norfolkbilly, norfolk, UK
It's been said for years that the UK resolutely refuses to take Eurovision seriously, and to an extent it's almost 100% accurate - Eurovision isn't a serious event in the UK, its become a camp, shambolic and overly politicised farce to be parodied at almost every available opportunity - most usually by Terry Wogan himself on the night of the contest.
Having said that, why should countries like the UK, Germany, France and Spain continue to contribute the vast majority of the show's production budget when their own entries are always left on the fringes thanks to Eastern and Balkan tactical voting? The whole "you vote for us and we'll vote for you" attitude of the newer countries to the competition is nothing short of nepotism - if they want an Eastern Eurovision Song Contest, they should bloody well expect to fund it themselves!
RM, Glasgow, UK
I suspect Sir Tel missed the increased importance of migrant labour on voting patterms. The entire top half was East Europe, which is poorer and which naturally has more migrant voters, that know their serial voting has big impact. The system is not a credible test of national opinion.
Brian, Cork, ireland
Events such as Eurovision can always be guaranteed to bring the snobs out-in-force. Are people who proudly proclaim that they never watch it, being really honest? We all know of other inhabitants of "Snobbsville" who will swear to never having opened the pages of a "tabloid rag." Again, I ask, are they being economical with the truth? We often see letters in the papers, whereby some "outraged" reader protests about some "obscene" article or photograph that has upset him in some way. He will go on to explain that he has been reading the organ in question for the past 500 years, but now he's mad-as-hell, and wont let such filth inside his door anymore. Are these people being truly honest? I know that if I had been reading a newspaper since the dawn-of-time, it would take something extraordinary for me to cancel my subscribtion. The Eurovision, and similar occasions, are a bit of harmless nonsense, and we need more of them.
John Gleeson, Tipperary, Ireland
Why do we continue to fund this drive? If countries want to play vote for me and I will vote for you then we should just say "fine, pay for it yourself" and let them get on with it
Dave - UK
D Goodwin, Gloucester,
Why do we pump money into this sham of a programme?
I've always loved the show and there is no doubt that Its great entertainment, but the political voting just takes the piss. Its pointless being involved as we'll never win it again cos of the "you'd better vote for me or else" attitude of the show.
Its a total waste of time in my opinion, and money.
A Grice, Sheffield, UK
how can such a dreadful song be expected to win this contest, europe must think our music in this country is horrible if ths is the best we can offer.
ant, immingham, england
I thought eurovision last night was brilliant. We always have such a laugh and Terry Wogan makes the show even more enjoyable because of his comments (who the hell will take his place when he can't do it anymore)?
We knew that Scooch wouldn't get anywhere, the song was awful however, they had a good go it
I just wish the tranny in the silver suit won, he was ace.
Can't wait for next year, where can I get a ticket for the show?
kerry, Rugby, UK
Sorry Wogan should have a severe reprimand from the BBC for the stupid remark -
"I bet Poland won't vote for Germany"
The man has gone right down in my estimation.
roger kendrick, Broiuze, France
I'm from Malta and I was absolutely shocked at the results. Personally, I think the Maltese song should have passed the semi-final, since when compared to the ones that passed it was of a much better quality. But anyway that might only be sheer patriotism on my side.
However, yesterday's results were in my opinion absurd. There were beautiful songs that should have placed much higher. This Eurovision has become totally politicised with neighbours voting for each other. Yesterday, I predicted a whole lot of whom the 12 votes were going to. That's the problem with Malta; being an island, it has no neighbours. I was very glad that we gave our 12 points to Britain since it was one of those songs that should have done much better.
Daniela, Attard, Malta
Us Brits do not have low self-esteem Christina, just obviously more honesty, integrity and class than the rest of Europe..as always. Why would we when we are the more advanced and powerful in Europe?
These nations won't vote for us to win in a singing competition, yet are more than happy to plea for help on our doorstep...who's the real winner in Europe?? I think we all know the answer.....
Louise Majors, London, England
The great thing about Eurovision is that it in our house it saves a lot of energy.. The TV gets switched off roughly a millisecond after it starts!
Dick, Aberdeenshire,
Eurovosion is a reminder to "we are different and not European" Brits how few friends they have amongst almost 1 billion people... If Brits consider themselves apart, Europe just confirms it every year...
Max, Lewisham,
Absolutely "FINNTASTIC"! Technically and artistically the best show ever produced in Eurovision history. Well done Finns and YLE. High tech - high quality -yet enjoyable and fun! - - - Terry W. attitude pathetic and - sorry to say - manifests the Britons ever growing low selfesteem broadcasted world wide. Truly sad!
Christina Suomi, Dubai, United Arab Emirates
I want to say thank you to British as a Turkish for giving us the highest point. We experienced once again that this song contest is not about songs, it is about politics. I think Balkan countries must have their own song contest. Otherwise it won't worth watcing it next year because I could guess the points before hearing.I also think that British entry was well better than Ukrain!
Bilge CENIK, Bolton, UK
Oh, how I missed Terry Wogan! All of Europe mourns, I'm sure, now that BBC Prime no longer sends ESC to us. It is so dull to watch (the Swedish version) without hearing sir Terry's remarks. I cannot take the ESC too seriously, but it is only as funny as the commentator makes it! Thanks Terry Wogan for past good fun!
Eva Wetterwik, Uppsala, Sweden
In the near future, we will have gracefully retired fron the Eurovision song contest. Western Europe is too old for the new vibrant youngsters like Serbia, and we no longer have a drive to form a Western European voting block.
This programme is a bit like the monarchy - will it have any relevance once the Queen no longer reigns. So it is with Eurovision - once Sir Terry no longer presents the show, then I shall no longer watch..
By the way. does the programme show that we are 'Billy No Mates' in Europe, except for Malta and ireland? Scooch were not that bad compared to many others. Is this a Blair legacy, and we are now chronically unloved in Europe?
Stuart Hamilton, Somerset,
I hadn't realised that Europe was so large! Essentially, it's now becoming the Eastern European Song contest. Though there's something quite nausious about a frenzied, rekindled enthusiasm and over-excited spark of interest in something so redundant and irrelevant as this euro waste of time, that's so lacking in any meaningful or cultural worth as such.
Richard, Zielona Gora, Poland
Time the BBC and the other western countries took there money and formed their own Western ESC with the old countries, the diaspora voting is nothing but a massive joke now. I predicted over 30 countries votes last night due to where the high immigration or neighbours. The balkans and Russian are dreadful, Serbia and Russia could come on stage, lie down and read for 3 minutes and still get over 100 points every year. The Semi final showed what was going to happen on the Final. BBC, talk to Germany, France and Spain and pull out and take a stance and make the EBU take note that there is a stranglehold thats ruining Eurovision.
As usual, the bottom 8 countries were all the western ones.
L. Allen, London, UK
I am not suprised Britain came next to bottom in this contest. We have never got far since "Making your mind up" won in the 80s. This contest has become political and should be scrapped.
Mrs J. Wood, Ashton-U-Lyne, UK