WINNERS

The Police

It’s amazing what money (a rumoured £70 million for Sting alone), and, er, time can do. For years it would seem impossible that the former teacher Sting, 55; son of a CIA agent Stewart Copeland, 54, drums; and musician Andy Summers, 64; would ever go near each other. But 30 years on and the gods of smug new-wave/white reggae are again bashing out the hits and possibly each other – after their first date Copeland noted on his blog that Sting looked like “a petulant pansy” and “We are the mighty Police and we are totally at sea.”

Take That

You could hear a million Thatters cry “Let me at ‘em”, when the band were bullied by Arctic Monkeys’ frontman Alex Turner, and Noel Gallagher at last year’s Q Awards. But the fans got their own back, selling out an arena tour and buying over 1.3 million copies of the album Beautiful World. Pretty remarkable considering that after the band split, Gary Barlow was known for being fat and Mark for not being gay. Now while Robbie places ads in LA newspapers to find pals to play footie with, Take That have their third Top 20 single in a row.

The Pixies

The unthinkable happened when the indie legends reformed in 2004. But as a documentary recording their rollercoaster return indicated, it was nothing to do with affection or nostalgia, but sheer desperation. Frank Black couldn’t get a label, ex-heroin addict Kim Deal lived at home with her parents, Dave Lovering was a hard-up magician and Joey Santiagi was playing shopping malls. After the euphoria of a single sell-out date they agreed to do a world tour. Thus unfolds the reality of reunions – four people who hate each other, living together on a bus, for over a year, wondering if the money is worth it.

LOSERS

All Saints

“Never, ever, ever, have I felt so low.” A prescient anthem for the cargo-pant loving girl band who last year pocketed a million to reform, record an album and then be dropped after a second single hit No 75.

East 17

In their heyday, the bad boys to Take That’s squeaky cleans were battling for No 1s. Last year they had to cancel a date at a mid-size London venue because they couldn’t give the tickets away. After they split, the only one who could get any coverage was Brian Harvey, and he had to run himself over to get it. So, the signs were never good.

The Doors/Queen/INXS

Rule of thumb: if you had one of the most iconic frontmen of all time (or Michael Hutchence), don’t bother.

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