By their very nature, Christmas music videos are cheesy. Festive decorations, a sprinkling of snow and Santa hats are obligatory. But when does the merely cheesy become loathsome? When does the mildly amusing become hysterical?

After a terrifying journey through Christmas videos past, we have come to believe the line is crossed when a musician gives an erstwhile child actor a cameo, mixes electric guitars with Christmas bells, impersonates a large snow-dwelling mammal or pretends to fly a sleigh.

We have whittled the monstrously large number of offenders down to ten.

All videos are likely to cause offense.

10. Paul McCartney and Wings – Wonderful Christmas Time

Yes, it was the Seventies. But tambourines and show hands? There can be no excuse. As for the wind-up Santa toy and those bizarre festive graphics – Macca, we love you, but really?
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9. Boney M - Mary's Boy Child
Goodness knows how many polar bears died to dress Boney M for this video. Only the terrifyingly earnest faces of the foursome can be seen for the white fur swathed around their upbeat flesh. As if polar bears with human faces weren’t scary enough, they go and project the world’s brightest, most frequently flickering star onto every conceivable backdrop in an attempt to blind you. A distressing spectacle for people as well as bears.
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8. Johnny Mathis - When a child is born

At any given time of the year Johnny Mathis layers on the cheese. But add Christmas to the mix and the man hits new lows. The ballad master sings the world’s soppiest song positioned astride a chair turned backwards. He stares down the barrel of the camera knowingly. He looks dreamily into the distance. Perhaps he was wondering where they got that red flowing curtain for the backdrop. Or maybe he too had just spotted what must surely be the world’s largest harp.
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7. Bing Crosby and David Bowie - Little Drummer Boy

Bing, David, you're treasures, but, by God, you didn’t pull this one off. Did you really need to film that faux-spontaneous chat as a prelude? And, you were clearly going for originality when you decided to stand around the piano in front of a Christmas tree teeming with tinsel. Neither of you won with this number but if anyone pulled ahead it was Bowie. He went for the high notes while dear old Bing was left to the maintain the ‘pa rumpapum pums’.
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6. Carnie and Wendy Wilson - Hey Santa

The one-time Wilson Phillips singers make a watery attempt at festive humour. Wendy and Carnie (before the mind-boggling weight loss) watch on indulgently as a bumbling dad does such comical things as electrocuting himself, putting a ladder through a window and knocking the head off a snowman with a broom. Oh, the hilarity!
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5. Jingle Bell Rock - Billy Idol

Billy Idol - now there’s someone you usually don’t associate with Christmas. It turns out there is good reason for that. When the accomplished sneerer attempted festive cheer last year, he seemed to find himself torn between upholding his rock persona and giving in to carol tradition. And so, in the weirdest rendition of Jingle Bell Rock ever recorded, bells compete with an electric guitar and Idol sneers and smiles saucily while singing such innocuous lyrics as “dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square”. Did we mention that Idol is stationed in front of a handsome Nordic Pine with his shirt open to his sternum, revealing chest and chains?
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4. Band Aid – Do they know it’s Christmas?

Firstly, a disclaimer: we know this song and video were recorded with the best intentions. However, we also know that under no condition should men ever sport feathered hair. At the time they were the epitome of crusading cool, 22 years on, Sir Bob’s group of guy-lighted, shoulder-pad wearing musicians are an insult to good taste. Special mention must go to the slow motion shots of Geldof, the baby-kissing zooms and the way every musician cups his headphones when it’s his turn to croon. And yet, for all the crimes against style, decades after its release, this video remains a public service. Never has there been more of an effective warning to men considering growing a fringe and/or mullet.
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3. Faith Hill - Where are you Christmas?

The camera slowly descends through the clouds towards earth, reaching a snowy scene in which Faith Hill (very nearly obscured by an obscene amount of crimped hair) pinches the cheek of a young girl. Yes, really. Other highlights include an elf on a Penny Farthing, a dog playfully pulling at the hem of Faith's monstrous outfit and a series of heart-felt air punching and air pulling.
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2. Cheetah Girls – Cheetah-licious Christmas

They don’t come more vile than this. Resplendent in pink Alice bands, blue eyeshadow and a terrifying amount of blusher, American girl band Cheetah Girls blend Christmas and smut by dancing dirty in the snow. If seeing the festive season desecrated by adolescents with bedroom eyes hasn’t done you in, tune in to the inspired lyrics. Gems include: "let's deck the halls with spots of cheetah", "wear your spots your own way" and "if you want to be a Xmas Chetah we are her to show you how it's done". Say what?
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1. ‘N Sync - Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

Where to start? Perhaps with a question: Why did the bafflingly popular boy band open their Christmas video with a cameo by Gary Coleman, he of Different Strokes fame? And, while we are at it, whose idea was the subsequent scene? No good can possibly come of seeing Justin Timberlake and friends tear through the sky in a sleigh, jauntily tugging at reigns and showing off their super-white teeth courtesy of super-wide American grins. But then, this is a music video that does nothing but raise questions. For example, whatever possessed Justin Timberlake to have his hair frosted for the clip? And, how did JC Chaez convince his odd-jobs man to lend him those overalls?
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