Click here to listen to Bitchstealer by Absentee

TRACK: Bitchstealer

WHO: Absentee – the Mike Leigh of indie.

WHAT: Sumptuous but bitter kitchen sink pop.

THE HYPE: “Theirs is a world full of shattered hearts, even-more-shattered dreams and desperation to escape. But for the sheer gorgeousness of the music it creates, it’s a place worth visiting at the first chance.” Drowned In Sound

WE SAY: it was a grim wet Tuesday, and Leonard Cohen and Lee Haizlewood were sitting in a drafty saloon bar sipping gin and seeing who could pull the sourest face. Suddenly, after Leonard had got up to put Every Day Is Like Sunday on the jukebox, there was a deafening sound, the roof peeled open and a blinding white light filled the room. ‘You miserable f***s,’ bellowed either a celestial voice or Brian Blessed. ‘Enough of this minor key, sub-50bpm stuff. Use your skills to rouse the people.’ And after God had shown them his City & Guilds in Music A&R as proof of his credentials, the pair leapt into action.

They called themselves Absentee, thinking it best to hide their true identities (both are still to decide which one of them is singer and songwriter Dan Michaelson). Months were spent in Superman’s Fortress Of Solitude, perfecting their new opus, while listening to stuff like Barry Manilow and The Carpenters. Stirring brass and uplifting piano was added to the mix, along with some sweet female harmonies, making it all sound a bit like The FlamingZutonLips stealing the good bits from The Jam’s Walls Come Tumbling Down.

Their work was done. Problem was, the guys couldn’t help but slip into some of their old ways. They’d been having women trouble, you see, and they couldn’t totally shake the fact that their glass was not only half empty, but there was a crack in it too, So having built an outer shell of rambunctious merriment, they decided to fill it with sourpuss lyrical sentiment. Bitchstealer, a bitter tale of relationships built on shoddy foundations, was the result.

Unfortunately, God had forgotten to give them an advance, so they had to make the video using the loose change from their pockets – luckily, you can make a video for a fiver these days. If you don’t believe me, go to their Myspace paqe and see it for yourself.

IF I ONLY KNOW ONE THING: Before buggering off to have all hits and stuff with The Magic Numbers, Romeo Stodart used play bass for Absentee.

WHERE CAN I GET IT: Bitchstealer is released today on Memphis Industries. The band play the Hoxton Bar and Grill on June 10.

FIND MORE: www.absenteemusic.co.uk/

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