CYNDI LAUPER, 55, is an American singer-songwriter. Her latest album, Bring Ya to the Brink is out tomorrow. She lives in New York with her husband, the actor David Thornton, and their son, Declyn, 10

When I was a kid, I dressed differently, so people threw rocks at me. Years later, they dressed like me. So I don’t care if people think I don’t act my age: I never listen to what they say, because what they say changes.

Growing up, I saw how women weren’t afforded the same pay and job opportunities as men, so I wanted to have the same life as a man. When I needed a boy for my band, I suddenly thought, “I’m going to be the boy!”

I was given a letter by a dancer that artists often pass around among themselves, one Martha Graham wrote to Agnes De Mille. She said you must never judge yourself. Reading that was my turning point — if you’re listening to yourself, or others, you become self-conscious.

My sister is gay — I’m a friend and family of the gay community. If you want a strong society, it has to be inclusive. If you have to push a boulder up a hill, do you want 10 people or 100? If you weed out colour or gender, you get 10.

Dressing conservatively is not good for me — it doesn’t feel comfortable. Why stifle your fantasies? If you have to dress down, you don’t have to dress straight.

My son said to me recently, “If you want to be successful, you need to keep the cursing in your lyrics. This stuff sells.”

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