Give six hours of your life to Wagner’s Siegfried (Jul 16), the third instalment in the Proms’ Ring cycle. You won’t be disappointed, although glucose tablets and comfortable shoes are recommended if you’re standing in the arena. This year the performers are from Robert Wilson’s radical Paris production. Christoph Eschenbach conducts.

Also: Other operatic treats include Glyndebourne’s new production of Mozart’s Così fan tutte (Jul 18), with the delectable Miah Persson as Fiordiligi, and the Peruvian tenor Juan Diego Flórez singing show-off arias (Jul 25).

YOUNGEST

Hear a symphony composed in London by an eight-year-old boy! OK, it was written 242 years ago, and Mozart was only temporarily berthed in Ebury Street, Chelsea, when he wrote his First Symphony. But it’s a fun little piece, and the Camerata Salzburg (Sept 4) should play it to the manner born.

Also: To celebrate Mozart’s 250th birthday, the Proms include more than 50 of his works. Highlights include Roger Norrington’s romp through edited highlights of many of his operas (Jul 15) and András Schiff’s late-night sonata recital (Aug 17).

GLOOMIEST

Shostakovich, born 100 years ago on Sept 25, is the other looming presence this season. Fans will flock to the mesmerising Valery Gergiev conducting his Kirov Opera forces in Shostakovich’s tragic Symphony No 13, inspired by the massacre in 1941 at Babi Yar (Aug 19), and — next day — the harrowing, long-suppressed opera, Lady Macbeth of the Mtsensk District.

Also: Shostakovich’s most celebrated symphony, the Fifth, is played on the First Night (Jul 14), and his loudest, the Leningrad, is in Kurt Masur’s concert with the Orchestre National de France (Aug 29).

GLITZIEST

Given the size of Maxim Vengerov’s fee, it’s just as well that the world’s richest bank is backing the dazzling Russian fiddler’s appearance with the brilliant young professionals of the UBS Verbier Festival Chamber Orchestra (Aug 13). Vengerov is both conductor and soloist in the all-Mozart programme.

Also: Other glamorous foreign orchestras visiting this year include four top-notch American bands, the vibrant Budapest Festival Orchestra (Aug 16) and the Berlin Philharmonic under Sir Simon Rattle, whose two Proms (Sept 1-2) end with Bruckner’s glorious Seventh Symphony. Will they add the controversial cymbal clash? Musical anoraks everywhere are agog with anticipation.

GROOVIEST

We are promised “unconventional effects inspired by DJ turntables” when the 29-year-old Dai Fujikura’s seven-minute Crushing Twister is premiered (Aug 28). The Japanese-born Londoner is one of the new breed of composers who are as likely to draw inspiration from club culture as from Pierre Boulez’s IRCAM laboratories.

Also: Discerning music critics rush to hear anything Julian Anderson writes. The Englishman’s new 35-minute solo cantata, Heaven is Shy of Earth, is inspired by Emily Dickinson and written for the superb mezzo Angelika Kirchschlager (Aug 6).

POSHEST

Having delayed her Proms debut until she was 68, the Queen makes her third visit in 12 years. This is becoming a dangerous addiction. To honour her 80th birthday, her Poet Laureate and Master of Music — Andrew Motion and Sir Peter Maxwell Davies — have collaborated on a cantata to be sung by hundreds of children (Jul 19).

Also: Patriotic sentiment unbridled at the Last Night (Sept 9) and a stirring night of British music (Elgar, Walton, Bliss) under Richard Hickox’s baton (Jul 23).

OLDEST

Cheikha Rimitti, the 83-year-old “first lady of rai” — Algerian popular song packing a political punch — headlines the Proms’ annual excursion into world music (Aug 4). Sharing the bill is the eclectic and energetic Spanish band, Radio Tarifa.

Also: Cool dudes will chill to Steve Reich’s minimalist vibes (Aug 10).

FURRIEST

Blue Peter’s chirpy presenters introduce two family Proms (Jul 22, 23, both 11am) devoted to music inspired by animals, birds and fish. The definition is stretched only a bit to include a Kiwi baritone called Teddy Tahu Rhodes.

Also: Half-price seats are being offered throughout the season to the under-16s (except for the Last Night), and five Proms also have £5-per-head family tickets under the BBC Music Intro scheme. See www.bbc.co.uk/proms for details.

NOISIEST

There is quite some competition for this particular accolade. But with 800 singers involved, the “Voice” Proms (Jul 29, afternoon and evening) should raise the roof. Masterminded by Orlando Gough and his cutting-edge choir, The Shout, they will include a new ecologically-inspired piece, We Turned on the Light (libretto by Caryl Churchill), using singers from dozens of choirs.

Also: Choral connoisseurs won’t want to miss John Eliot Gardiner’s exploration of the sumptuous Venetian polychoral repertoire (Jul 26). Expect wild Gabrielian echoes to fly round the galleries.

CHEEKIEST

Anthony Payne, the brave composer/critic who completed Elgar’s Third Symphony from sketches that Elgar wanted to have burnt after his death, has now conjured up a Pomp and Circumstance March No 6 from similarly fragmentary scraps. It will have its premiere on Aug 2.

Also: Robert Levin’s completion of Mozart’s unfinished Mass in C minor can be heard on Sep 8, and Colin Matthews’s marvellous orchestrations of Debussy piano preludes crop up on Sept 1.

The Proms run from July 14 to September 9. Priority booking by ballot opens on Monday, via www.bbc.co.uk/proms. Direct booking opens online and on 020-7589 8212 on June 12

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