If the latest music industry rumours are true, George Michael has joined Queen.

Which means plenty of scope for scurrilous jokes, not to mention what could be one of the strangest sights ever to grace a concert stage. Will Michael come on in hotpants, or don an apron and do the vacuuming? Even if he plays it straight, a Queen reunion is sure to be one of the highest grossing tours of 2003.

Since the late 1990s there has been talk of a Queen comeback, with various names in the frame to replace the flamboyant Freddie Mercury — the most creditable was Robbie Williams, who said he would take the job if he had the time. As unlikely a replacement as Michael sounds, he does have a history with Queen. He sang on three songs at the Freddie Mercury Tribute concert in 1992 and, in 2000, recorded a version of Queen’s Stone Cold Sober. But without Freddie, should the band really be calling themselves Queen?

Of course, it’s not new for old bands with members missing to cash in on reunion fever by reforming with a new line-up. Guns’n’Roses boast only the singer Axl Rose from the original group, while there isn’t a single original member in the band currently calling themselves the Temptations.

What is new, however, is to bring in an established star. Later this month, the Doors go back on the road more than 30 years after Jim Morrison’s death. In the late singer’s shoes will be Ian Astbury, frontman with the 1980s goth-rockers the Cult. The new Doors are also replacing John Densmore, who has tinnitus, with Stewart Copeland, once drummer with the Police.

“It’s the Doors for the 21st century. Or, as we prefer to say, the Doors retooled for the 21st century,” explains Ray Manzarek, who is back on keyboards alongside the original guitarist Robby Krieger. “We are not a Doors tribute band. Ian Astbury is singing Doors songs as Ian Astbury. He’s not doing a Jim Morrison imitation.”

INXS, who toured Britain in December with Blondie, first reformed to play at the opening of the Sydney Olympics. Then, the replacement for Michael Hutchence, who died five years ago, was Terence Trent D’Arby. The latest line-up is fronted by Jon Stevens, the former singer with Aussie rockers Noiseworks and a star in his own right down under. Stevens is now a permanent fixture and will be singing on a new INXS album planned for this year, which will include songs written by Hutchence but never recorded.

“No one will ever fill Michael’s shoes,” says the INXS guitarist Andrew Farriss. “But it doesn’t matter that Jon isn’t Michael. This is INXS for the 21st century.”

The band pop fans all over the world would most like to see back on stage is the Beatles. Since the release of the “new” Lennon-penned song Free as a Bird in 1995, rumours of a reunion have been rife. With George Harrison’s death, a Beatles comeback should sound impossible.

But is it? At Harrison’s recent tribute concert at the Albert Hall, punters paid as much as £1,000 a ticket to see the band’s two remaining members play together again. Eric Clapton and Jeff Lynne of ELO made up the numbers and if the pair agreed to tour with Starr and McCartney, it could be the biggest tour yet.

The band most ripe for a reunion this year, however, is Nirvana. Since the release of the band’s Best Of collection and the promise of an album of brand new songs in the summer, the internet has been buzzing with possible replacements for the late Kurt Cobain.

If the band could be persuaded to tour again, the obvious replacement for Cobain would be Nirvana’s drummer Dave Grohl, who currently fronts Foo Fighters. A less obvious, but more fun, choice would be Ozzy Osbourne. Don’t laugh. Cobain used to describe his band as a cross between Black Sabbath and the Bay City Rollers. And Ozzy — hip again thanks to The Osbournes — was a huge fan, who stumbled into their studio when Nirvana were recording Nevermind and invited them to tour with him before they became famous.

A more controversial choice would be Cobain’s widow, the singer Courtney Love. Now that Love and the remaining Nirvana members appear to have patched up their differences, a collaboration isn’t out of the question. The pairing would certainly split Nirvana’s fans, but there are few who wouldn’t pay to see them together on stage. The biggest band of 2003? A scary thought.

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