If the concept of Chinese hip-hop wasn't odd enough, the Beijing- based rappers Dragon Tongue Squad made their British debut in a sterile, seated theatre in the Royal Opera House. Part of a lottery- funded arts exchange inspired by the forthcoming Olympic Games, the event was well-intentioned but ill-conceived. Rather than lift the lid on Chinese youth culture, a preposterous performance proved why most hip-hop consumed in that country is - and probably always will be - American.

That Chinese hip-hop has so far failed to catch on is due partly to strict censorship - lyrics are vetted, so the usual staples of violence, drugs and guns are out - and that, well, drugs, guns and big-breasted gold-diggers in bikinis aren't pressing local problems. Judging by Dragon Tongue Squad, however, the biggest stumbling block may be their amateurish output.

As soon as the band bounded on stage, the crowd struggled to stifle their giggles. “Yo! What's up London?” shouted J-Fever, the trilby-sporting tallest of the trio. Besides braiding his hair, the crew member Crazy Chef had hung assorted accessories such as a disused leather purse, sun visor and jewellery on his low-slung trousers, doubtless to disguise the fact that, by day, he's just “chef”. But all eyes were on the pint-sized rapper Carbo Lee, who cut a ludicrous dash in neon green, backwards baseball cap with the price tag still attached, pink sunglasses and a gigantic pendant on a chain thick enough to moor a small boat. Mid-set, he pulled up his T-shirt to show off the gaudily-patterned pants peeking high above his trousers. Picture Little Britain doing a hip-hop parody.

The music, sadly, was much less memorable. Despite being backed by a dextrous scratch DJ - a Brit, DJ Phat, who was also their support act - Dragon Tongue Squad offered flat raps over anaemic beats. Mostly, they sang in Mandarin, although even they have admitted the language doesn't lend itself well to flowing rhymes. Handily, translated lyrics were circulated, so we knew that Dragon Tongue-ism contained the couplet “Learn how to be good at learning skills/ Learn how to communicate smoothly”. Only once did they shine, and for all the wrong reasons. Chinese Food was a comic masterpiece - “Thai, Thai! Why, why?” went the chorus, possibly, while the verses listed authentic takeaway dishes.

If it's fame they're after, a sketch show rather than the pop charts looks more likely.

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