Tell people you’re going to see this year’s X-Factor Live tour, and the most frequent response tends to be, “Is Leona Lewis going to be there?” Of course, as the winner of X-Factor in 2006, Lewis could be found topping the bill at last year’s package tour. That people seem to have forgotten that an entire series of the talent show has elapsed since Lewis’s triumph speaks volumes about the impact made by this year’s crop. Nevertheless thousands of fans came to see a show which, ominously, began with the female quintet Hope filleting Rihanna’s Umbrella with the brisk efficiency of a Geordie fishmonger.

They were here because they enjoyed the TV show. But this wasn’t the TV show. Simon Cowell was absent – though just as Christians see God in the details of everything that surrounds them, this too, seemed like a world that couldn’t be properly understood without some reference to the high-trousered mogul who created it. To criticize the goings-on here, would somehow be missing the point. So what if Andy Williams – the head of his own Cardiff-based asbestos removal company – replaced the harmonic tension of the Bee Gees’ Stayin’ Alive with artless canine eagerness? Did it matter that Alisha Bennett appeared not to even know the correct title of Corinne Bailey Rae’s Girl Put Your Record On [sic]?

In terms of what people came to see, probably not. Speaking to The Times last year, Damon Albarn made a connection between the cultural changes ushered in by the National Lottery and shows such as X-Factor. It was hard not to feel that he had a point here. We used to cheer talent. Watching Futureproof bellowing the appositely-titled If You Don’t Know Me By Now, you realised that these days, we prefer to cheer luck. It really could be you up there. And, as if to prove the point, some intended light relief came in the form of The Auditionees, three first round also-rans who earned their place on the bill on account of their “famously bad” performances. They took it in turns to sing on One Moment In Time. In another realm, with the right people around her, the timorous, mouse-voiced Japanese entrant Totoshko might have passed muster as arty pop ingénue.

But not here. The weird genius of Simon Cowell’s franchise is that if you want it bad enough, you’ll take it on his terms. “You’re two of the most annoying people I’ve ever met,” he told Same Difference before realizing that his criticism also doubled up as a USP. With a single due out on his label in April, they emerged from separate beds (well, they are siblings) and squealed Wake Me Up Before You Go Go in a manner that, by comparison, made Wham’s original version sound like Diamanda Galas’s challenging 1990 Aids opus Plague Mass.

By some distance the strangest creature on show tonight, Rhydian Roberts seems increasingly prey to succession of bizarre styling decisions. With hair ever taller and ever more platinum, he packed some operatic gusto into Go West, flanked by four butch sailors – seemingly unaware of what signals a rugby-mad Welshman might be sending out to the rest of the village. In the series, of course, he wuz robbed because Scotland thought it was doing tiny Caledonian nonentity Leon Jackson a favour by voting for him by the million. Looking hopelessly out of his depth, the nervous West Lothian 18-year old stared into the spotlight that concealed the abyss directly ahead of him, and enquired, “Does London have the X-factor?”

Did Leon? No, but he certainly had the Y-Factor. Y on earth was he here? For his Christmas hit When You Believe, he stood on a rising podium as sparks rained down on him in a manner that suggested he was testing it out for someone – Rhydian, perhaps, who returned to kick off an all-“star” savaging of Queen’s Don’t Stop Me Now. At that point, they all pretty much looked Futureproof. From within Simon Cowell’s bell jar it must have seemed like a theatre of dreams. From the outside, you couldn’t help wondering how much air there was left.

Tour continues tomorrow (Tuesday) at Cardiff International Arena (02920 224488) www.ticketmaster.co.uk

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