I have two confessions. The first is that I have yet to see a single moment of the hit ITV series Dancing on Ice. The second is that I had a great time at the live version that is touring UK arenas.

The second point is significant because, to be honest, my expectations were low. This slick blend of sport and showbusiness is bubble-headed and cheesy, with all the typical merchandising attached. At the same time I have to admit that the cosy 2½hour spectacle is undeniably polished, family-orientated entertainment, packed with glitter, gaffes and edge-of-the-seat excitement. And I saw the iconic headliners Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean working their magic alongside a pack of other professional skaters, each paired with a moonlighting pop singer, actor, soap star, presenter or sporting figure.

The live show is a neatly structured adaptation of the TV version. In part one, nine professional/non-professional couples do a brief routine, after which they receive a rating and feedback from five judges that ranges from effusive to constructive to barbed. Part two temporarily drops the competitive aspect, opting instead for a parade of fun and flashy exhibition skating dominated by the professionals. The climax is a “skate-off” between two celebrities, still professionally partnered and chosen by the audience via text message voting. (All proceeds go to charity.) Each duo performs a version of Bolero, the same music that Torvill and Dean used to skate their way to glory in the 1984 Winter Olympics. The experts then crown one celebrity that night’s champion.

Dancing on Ice is a handy way for punters to learn about what constitutes good competitive skating, and a reminder of what hard work it is. The Nottingham audience were clearly in the know and ebulliently supportive of their favourites. It was exhilarating to hear the roar that greeted Suzanne Shaw, erstwhile member of Hear’Say and the winner of DoI 2008, or last year’s champion, the former rugby player Kyran Bracken. The plucky Shaw, deftly partnered by Matt Evers, brought sassy style to a routine built around Madonna’s Music – even if it ended in an unintended pratfall.

The actress Clare Buckfield was rightly deemed “a princess” by one of the judges for her smooth, romantic duet with Andrei Lipanov. The Pop Idol finalist Gareth Gates and Chris Fountain, of Hollyoaks fame, also garnered clamorous approval.

The most nimble among the show’s older contenders was the beaming, pint-sized Bonnie Langford, apparently nursing a popped rib. Other mature nonprofs included football’s “gentle giant” David Seaman and the voluptuous model-turned-actress Linda Lusardi.

Great skating? No, but it was a tense pleasure to see such relative neophytes test themselves on the ice. And there were always Torvill and Dean to remind us how much grace, skill and class top skating requires.

April 12-13 at Newcastle Metro Radio Arena.
Tour continues until May 17.
Tickets: 0870 0112626 or www.dancingonicetour.co.uk

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