Win tickets to the ATP finals


Ella Hickson’s Eight opens with one Millie Faucett-Reid, a posh prostitute, in her tennis kit and pearl necklace, bestriding an invisible customer and declaiming Betjeman’s celebrated lines about Miss Joan Hunter Dunn. Here is a writer and director who, at least, knows how to startle and amuse.
In fact, Hickson’s set of eight scintillating monologues are amusing and a whole lot more. Each evening will give you four of the eight possible pieces, only 15 minutes each, selected by audience vote before the curtain rises — so you could conceivably go twice and see a completely different show each time. But this is work of such quality, you wouldn’t mind seeing the same thing twice anyway.
Millie’s opening monologue is filthily funny. She services her various Ruperts, Hugos and Humphreys, in their wing-tipped brogues, with a schoolgirlish enthusiasm, and never, ever descends to “hoi polloi”. The customer with the Miss Joan Hunter Dunn fetish requires her not only to wear tennis kit and wave a racket around, but to climax on exactly the right dactyl. Quite a trick. Another likes to cuddle up to her afterwards and have a jolly good cry.
As a portrait of a working girl, it’s utterly original, and superbly played by Ishbel McFarlane. Millie was initiated into the business by her mother and is extremely proud of her ancestry, the Faucett-Reids having been in the business of “marital supplements” for 500 years. But Millie is well into her thirties, and her career may not have many more years left in it. The wonderful character study ends with a dying fall when a slip reveals that Millie, too, has desires, extending well beyond the bedroom, that will never be met.
An equally brilliant monologue comes from Andre, a gay gallery owner, his impish campery wonderfully caught by Michael Whitham. He got into art because gay men are good at aesthetics, he explains, the same way black men are good at sprinting. His boyfriend does the accounts while he does the schmoozing — his plump, gym-hating, lager-drinking boyfriend, who is virtually heterosexual apart from the fact that he likes sex with men. Clearly, like Millie, an innocent abroad in a corrupt world, when this stolid naïf accompanies Andre to the biennales, he actually looks at the art. Bless.
It is this same boyfriend, we learn as the monologue progresses, who is now hanging inside by an Hermès scarf. Hickson’s imagination is again astounding, as Andre struggles, and pretty much succeeds, in maintaining his composure while waiting for the ambulance, even as his boyfriend still dangles within. Yet you also see all his grief, anger and heartbreak.
As if this weren’t enough, packed into these dazzling 15 minutes (is there a Warhol allusion there?) is a hilariously bitter portrait of the contemporary art world. The joke is that Andre himself, a top gallery owner, knows this. He deals profitably in Tracey Emin prints, well aware that her work is worthless. He alludes to the notorious photo of Emin scooping fistfuls of banknotes towards what he memorably terms, nose pert with distaste, her “lady garden”. The fact that such scathing analysis comes not from a critic or traditionalist, but from a fashionable gallerist, makes it all the more exhilarating.
Two other powerful monologues come from Miles (Solomon Mousley), a City boy and survivor of the July 7 bombings, and Jude (Simon Ginty), a 17-year-old English boy in Provence, losing his virginity to an ageing vamp with voluptuous cleavage, brown and wrinkled “like a Sunday roast”. The writing is consistently good, and emphasises further Hickson’s abiding themes, the loss of innocence, moral corruption and spiritual emptiness.
It turns out that all eight of the monologues come from protagonists in their twenties or thirties, Hickson’s generation. In the press blurb, she says she is trying to respond to her peers’ overwhelming trait of apathy — but she’s somewhat better than this usual clichéd statement. She is already a fully fledged satirist of real power and insight, at her most effective when adding her terrific sense of comedy to the mix. With her finger firmly on the sickly, fluttering pulse of the contemporary — a world of “commercial, aesthetic and sexual excess”, in her own words — her targets are nevertheless time-honoured: bad art, sexual dysfunction, the corrosiveness of “luxury”, as the ancient satirists called it, or “consumerism”, as we call it.
Eight is a piece that both delivers and suggests enormous promise. It thoroughly deserves its West End airing, after making a huge impact at last year’s Fringe and picking up the Carol Tambor Best of Edinburgh Award.
As I emerged out of the Trafalgar Studios into the dusk, there on the square stood the dignified statues of Major General Sir Henry Havelock, General Sir Charles James Napier, George IV — and, on the fourth plinth, a fat woman showing off by dancing salsa badly. Yep, 21st-century Britain really is full of rubbish. Plenty for a satirist such as Hickson to feast on.
Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Everything the Business Traveller needs to know to make a better trip
Get ready for the winter sports season, with our resort guides and snow reports
We are backing British business, what is the confidence of the nation and what businesses are succeeding?
Growing demand for energy, oil that is harder to reach and the rise of carbon dioxide emissions. We examine the energy challenge
Enjoy further reading from Travel to Fashion, Business to Sport, discover more
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
36-month car lease
on contract hire for
£359.99 plus VAT pm
12 months for the price of 11 and a 5% discount.
Offer ends 31/11/09
The UK's leading alternative to showroom finance.
Finance packages tailored to your needs.
Minimum loan of £15,000
Car Insurance
£12,578 per annum
The Independent Housing Ombudsman
London
Competitive
Barclaycard
Not Specified
The Sheppard Trust
London
£80-95,000
Clay McGuire Executive Selection
Moments from Battersea Park.
For sale with Winkworth.
See your free Experian credit report beforehand
Book now & save over £100pp.
11 cool resorts, lowest prices... Early Booking offers 15 Nov.
20% off selected Azores holidays taken in October with Sunvil Discovery
Get covered on your travels with a superb range of policies at great prices. Visit InsureandGo.com
World Class Golf, Spa and preferential Beach Club. Private estate overlooking West Coast
Villas from £275 per night inclusive of Golf
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths | Subscriptions | E-paper
News International associated websites: Globrix Property Search | Milkround
Copyright 2009 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.