A recession-bitten festive season looms and, at this rate, nobody will be
getting a card in the post to herald it. But if there’s one thing to be
ebullient about, it’s the array of theatrical treats on offer. Pickings are
so rich, the 20 choicest offerings here don’t make a dent in them.
There are some big occasions: the Globe opens its doors to groundlings for the
first time in winter; Terry Pratchett’s Nation is the latest
youth-orientated drama to fill the Olivier; and Sandi Toksvig and Ronnie
Corbett spearhead the revival of the variety show at the Royal Festival
Hall. Elsewhere hip-hop dancicals are descending.
Traditional panto fans fear not: John Barrowman will don green tights in
Cardiff while Mike Kenny transports Cinderella to the ball at the West
Yorkshire Playhouse, though what happens in the adult Sinderfella at the
Leicester Square Theatre, starring the drag queen Bette Rinse, is less
printable.
London
Footsbarn’s Christmas Cracker, at the Globe
This season’s coldest ticket: the legendary masters of theatrical misrule,
Footsbarn, let loose in Shakespeare’s Globe. The company promise an
anarchic, bawdy carnival for all ages, with music, dance, a tight-rope
walking Juliet, a three-headed Shakespeare, and its signature, outsize worm.
Dominic Dromgoole, the artistic director, explains: “There’s nothing more
stupid than doing a show at Christmas in a theatre without a roof, so it
seemed a good idea to find the company that embody ridiculousness to fill
it. Footsbarn are that: genuinely wild and irredeemably pagan.” One key
feature of the show will be brevity, he adds, and the two, half-hour chunks
will include a whirlwind tour through London’s wintry past, from pre-Roman
days to the glamorous frost fairs of Elizabethan England. With mulled wine
on tap.
Suitable for all ages.
Dec 22 to Jan 3: 020-7401 9919 or shakespeares-globe.org
Nation, at the Olivier, National Theatre
Katie Mitchell’s Cat in the Hat has already sold out, and the
National must be hoping that this colossal adaptation of Terry Pratchett’s
novel follows suit, repeating the triumphs of War Horse and His
Dark Materials, two of the most successful shows in the theatre’s
history. Nation, an irreverent, modern fable, is set in a parallel
universe in 1860. Two teenagers from wildly different worlds are thrown
together in the wake of a tsunami and, in their coming of age, they must
lose a host of cultural and religious preconceptions. It boasts a crack
creative team: Coram Boy’s Melly Still directs the adaptation, by
Mark Ravenhill (Shoot/Get Treasure/Repeat).
For audiences of 10 years plus.
Nov 11 to Feb 21: 020-7452 3000 or nationaltheatre.org.uk
Sandi Toksvig’s Christmas Cracker, at the Royal Festival Hall
Toksvig, Ronnie Corbett and a “cavalcade of stars” including the mezzo-soprano
Sarah Connolly, descend on the Royal Festival Hall for ten nights of
variety, music and comedy. In addition, a reworking of A Christmas Carol
will see a different curmudgeonly celeb playing Scrooge every night. As
Toksvig explains: “There are lots of what I can only describe as surprises
in store. It’s a party, basically, for a family of a thousand, though if you
can’t colour things in yet you probably won’t enjoy it. For everyone else
there’ll be mass cracker pulling, hat wearing, and enforced singing. I have
demanded actual snow; whether that will materialise I don’t know.” Stephen
Fry is bound to materialise at some point.
All ages.
Dec 15 to 24: 0844-875 0073 or southbankcentre.co.uk
Charlie and Lola’s Best Bestest Play, at the Hampstead Theatre
The nation’s all-time absolute ultimate favourite siblings, and one imaginary
friend, are brought to life by four puppeteers with music from the TV show,
in this touring stage adaptation from Polka Theatre. Lauren Child’s beloved
characters encounter a host of humdrum happenings, until Lola tests her
brother’s legendary long-sufferance to the limit.
For ages 3 and upwards.
Dec 10 to Jan 2: 020-7722 9301 or hampsteadtheatre.com
Aladdin, at the Hackney Empire
The Empire is in a Dickens of debt trouble, and has announced that it will
effectively go dark in January for nine months. That it hasn’t already is
due to the stalwart success of its patently ridiculous, madcap, thoroughly
traditional pantos, written and directed by Susie McKenna with music by
Steve Edis. That this might be their last is all the more reason to catch
Clive Rowe, the greatest Dame in England, in his inimitable Christmas
incarnation.
All ages.
Nov 28 to Jan 9: 020-8985 2424 or hackneyempire.co.uk
Pied Piper, at the Barbican
Rats are refigured as hoody street boys, the pipers are a proud, rival gang,
and the exit from Hamelin occurs in a high- octane, hip-hop danceathon.
Having wisely ditched its dolorous attempts at panto, the Barbican revives
this Olivier award winning, contemporary take on Robert Browning’s ageless
poem. Boy Blue Entertainment’s show, originally seen at Stratford East in
2006, stars Kenrick “H2O” Sandy with music by “Mikey J” Asante.
Ten years plus.
Dec 10 to Jan 3: 0845-120 7550 or barbican.org.uk
Aladdin, at the New Wimbledon
Theatre The archetypal Arab street boy is in for a shock in this lavish panto
from the veteran director Ian Talbot. When he rubs his lamp at the New
Wimbledon this Christmas, either Paul O’Grady, Ruby Wax or Pamela Anderson
will pop out as the genie. Brian Blessed and his beard promise to anchor
proceedings as the evil Abanazar. Wax had no hesitation in accepting the
role: “I have always wanted to follow Pamela Anderson wherever she went,”
she says. “Really that’s the only reason I’m involved. I hope I’m going to
be allowed to wear her costume though I might need a little enhancement. For
me this was a hilarious idea. And if I’m entertained, generally, everyone
near by is entertained. I’m sick with excitement.” Doubtless she’s not
alone.
All ages.
Dec 4 to Jan 10: 0844-871 7646 or AmbassadorTickets.com/Wimbledon
The Forest, at the Young Vic
Fevered Sleep and Fuel, the creators of the award-winning Brilliant
last year, come together to create a new piece of immersive theatre for 5-7
year olds. Using 19 real trees, dance, images, sound and light, the company,
led by David Harradine and Sam Butler, hope to draw audiences into an
enchanted wood.
Dec 9-24: 020-7922 2922 or youngvic.org
A Christmas Carol, at the Arts Theatre
It will be hard to find a middle-aged, male actor in England who isn’t playing
Scrooge. Dickens’s tale of the rediscovered joy of giving, loving and
forgoing the counting of large piles of gold is clearly hitting a nerve,
with adaptations everywhere from the Stephen Joseph Theatre in Scarborough,
to the Gate in Dublin. At the refurbished Arts, the comedian Gareth Hale
will be donning the miser’s cap and polishing his bah humbugs, as the
winning panto team from Hackney, Susie McKenna and Steve Edis, present a new
musical adaptation.
Five years plus.
Nov 11 to Jan 10: 0845-017 5584 or artstheatrewestend.com
Into The Hoods, at the Queen Elizabeth Hall
Not such a big surprise down at the QEH: a limited season transfer of a smash
hit, hip- hop extravaganza, taking a classic musical (Stephen Sondheim’s Into
the Woods) and giving it a rough edged, ironic urban spin. Performed by
the dance troupe, ZooNation, with music from Massive Attack and Kanye West.
At parental discretion.
Dec 16 to Jan 10: 0844-875 0073 or southbankcentre.co.uk
Jack and the Beanstalk, at the Lyric
Classic panto returns to the Lyric at last, but it isn’t the superlative
writing team, which includes Richard Bean and Ché Walker, that’s whetting
the dramatic appetite. It’s the prospect of Peepolykus’s Spanish impresario,
Javier Marzan, playing a recalcitrant cow. Tom Robertson joins him as Jack,
Martyn Ellis is the Dame, and Angela Wynter is a villainous Evelyn Greedly
in an extravagant family show directed by Steve Marmion.
All ages.
Nov 21 to Jan 9: 0871-221 1722 or lyric.co.uk
Aladdin, at the Theatre Royal Stratford East
Purveyor of some of the finest, most authentic community panto in the land,
Stratford is reuniting the creative team responsible for Cinderella
in 2007, which won an Olivier Award. Directed by Kerry Michael, with a
caustic comic script from Trish Cooke and music from Robert Hyman, this
theatrical magic carpet ride to the East (End) promises a slew of
traditional stage illusions.
All ages.
Nov 28 to Jan 16: 020-8534 0310 or stratfordeast.com
Regional
Kneehigh’s Hansel and Gretel, at Bristol Old Vic
Under the artistic director Tom Morris, the reopened Bristol Old Vic is
bursting free of years of artistic decrepitude. Kneehigh’s founder Mike
Shepherd joins the renaissance, directing this deeply grisly Grimm’s tale,
leading children into a dark forest with the company’s trademark physical
wizardry, inventiveness and disrespect for fourth walls. Even if they are
made of gingerbread.
Seven years plus, younger at parental discretion.
Dec 4 to Jan 23: 0117-987 7877 or bristololdvic.org.uk
Peter Pan, at Northern Stage, Newcastle
Northern Stage is gaining a sterling reputation for its winsome, lo-fi,
anti-panto Christmas Shows. Eschewing mawkishness, visible wires and
middle-aged pop stars pretending to be prepubescent, this year’s immersive
escape to Neverland looks to be no exception, reuniting the
writing/directing duo Stephen Sharkey and Erica Whyman.
Seven years plus, younger children at parental discretion.
Nov 30 to Jan 9: 0191-230 5151 or northernstage.co.uk
The Nutcracker, Birmingham Royal Ballet
One of three, top, tutu-toting Nutcrackers on offer this Christmas, featuring
Tchaikovsky’s sublime score. At Birmingham Hippodrome, Peter Wright’s
much-loved rendition tells the tale of young Clara’s magical encounter with
a Nutcracker doll (it’s a German thing, apparently) as it comes creakily to
life on Christmas Eve and leads her on a series of fantastical journeys.
Five years plus.
Nov 27 to Dec 13: 0844-338 5050 or brb.org.uk
Arabian Nights, at The Courtyard Theatre, Stratford
The Royal Court director Dominic Cooke revives his sultry adaptation of this
ageless paean to the power of storytelling, as Shahrazad attempts to avert
her death by enchanting her would-be groom with a surfeit of fantastic
fables. Originally seen at the Young Vic in 1998, the production has been
especially adapted for this Courtyard outing. However transporting it
proves, it’s nice to note that even the RSC has a soap star in the line-up:
Corrie’s Ayesha Dharker will join Paul Bhattacharjee as the loquacious Queen
Shahrazad and Vizier, heading up a cast of some 18 thieves.
Six years plus.
Dec 5 to Jan 30: 0844-800 1110 or rsc.org.uk
Peter Pan, at the Liverpool Empire Happy days, here again. The American
TV veteran Henry Winkler revealed a rare talent for raising one eyebrow,
donning a Hook and eliciting boos from children who can’t ever have seen him
on the box, when he played Hook three years ago. This year, he’s abetted by
Atomic Kitten’s Natasha Hamilton as Pan, and Les Dennis as a Dame of dubious
origin, the Darling family cook.
All ages.
Dec 11 to Jan 3:0844-847 2525 or liverpoolempire.org.uk
Grimm Tales, at the Manchester Library Theatre
These gritty, gruesome fairy stories radically rewrote the rules of children’s
theatre in the early Nineties, when Tim Supple adapted the Poet Laureate
Carol Ann Duffy’s versions of the classic tales for the stage. This timely
revival, by the noted physical theatre director Rachel O’Riorden, offers
curious audiences of 6 upwards a meaty, unadulterated alternative to pappy
celebrity spotting at the panto.
Dec 5 to Jan 23: 0161-236 7110 or librarytheatre.com
Zorro, at the Traverse, Edinburgh
One of the oddest offerings this Christmas warns audiences to watch out for
Zs, scratched in the Scottish snow, as the Spanish comic book hero descends
on Edinburgh. This new, “swashbuckling” show for all the family, from
Visible Fictions, is directed by Douglas Irvine and written by the promising
Davey Anderson for Scotland’s foremost new writing theatre.
Six plus, younger children at parental discretion.
Dec 5-24: 0131-228 1404 or traverse.co.uk
A Christmas Carol, at Birmingham Rep
In a new version by the award-winning playwright Bryony Lavery, this lavish
adaptation attempts to bring Dickens’ London viscerally to life, only
without the open sewers, wall-to-wall cholera and rampant syphilis. With
music by Jason Carr, Peter Polycarpou will be scowling remorselessly as
Scrooge, with Hadley Fraser as a wide-eyed Bob Cratchit, and the large
ensemble cast of assorted mockneys will be marshalled by the director
Nikolai Foster.
Seven plus.
Nov 25 to Jan 9: 0121-236 4455 or birmingham-rep.co.uk
Great Unseasonal Choices
Blithe Spirit
Noël Coward raises one eyebrow, the dead, and his brand of class hell at the
Manchester Exchange (0161-833 9833).
Red
Most perverse of the festive pickings, Red, a new play by John Logan,
describes the artist Mark Rothko’s descent into suicidal melancholia. The
Donmar (0844-871 7624).
39 Steps
This Olivier award winning adaptation of John Buchan’s 39 Steps
provides noirish, farcical escape at the Liverpool Everyman (0151-709 4776).
Swan Lake
Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake returns to Sadlers Wells. A troupe of
male dancers ditch the tutus (0844-412 4300).
Rope
‘Tis the season for student strangulation at the Almeida. Patrick Hamilton’s
classic, Rope, a dark thriller based on a real murder case, runs from
December 10 (020-7359 4404).
The Stefan Golaszweksi Plays
Two, award-winning, one-man musings on love and loss, are presented at The
Bush from December 4 (020-8743 5050).
The Priory
A new social comedy by Michael Wynne at the Royal Court runs from November 19,
or you could catch Cock, by the upbeat Mike Bartlett, upstairs, until
December 16 (020-7565 5000).
Pains of Youth
“Promiscuous, pitiless, bored” — it must be Christmas at the National. A group
of disaffected youths circle sexual hell, in 1923 Vienna (020-7452 3000).
1984
Blind Summit and the Battersea Arts Centre turn their hands to Orwell’s
apocalyptic tale of humanity’s future (020-7223 2223 ).
The Wasteland
Fiona Shaw and Deborah Warner return to Wilton’s Music Hall with their
rendition of T. S. Eliot’s work. From December 31 (020-7702 2789).
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