Caitlin Moran
The man, the films, those blondes. Free DVD collection starting this Sunday
Cardiff railway station, 10am. The cab driver isn’t sure where exactly we are going. He pulls to a halt at the end of the rank, and hails the cab opposite.
“I’ve got passengers for Doctor Who ,” he says, with an expansive gesture at us in the back. “Where do I turn off?” “For Doctor Who ?” the other cab-driver says. “For Doctor Who? ” There is a long pause, where a more overexcited cab passenger might begin to speculate as to whether Doctor Who is shot on Earth at all. Maybe it’s accessible only via a closely guarded magnetic anomaly in a disused bronze mine, guarded by the Sontarans.
“You go right at the BP petrol station, mate.” Doctor Who and its spin-offs — Torchwood, The Sarah Jane Mysteries, Doctor Who Confidential and Totally Doctor Who — occupy Cardiff in much the same manner that an army barracks occupies a small town. With a 200-strong crew, 180 special FX technicians, 200 prosthetics technicians, 2,000 extras and 200 guest stars, the population of the city is divided into civilians and noncivilians; Who and nonWho. The pivotal question in Cardiff nightlife is “You on Who , then?”
“Some of them act a bit cliquey, like they’ve seen attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion,” says a friend who lives in Cardiff, “when in actual fact they’ve just spent all day waving a foam-rubber leg around.” But as with the Army, this clannishness is understandable — Doctor Who is both a huge and a hugely secretive operation. Having made the decision to try to keep the plots a surprise — extremely rare in television, where tabloid prepublicity is key in getting ratings spikes — phenomenal amounts of thought and energy are put into keeping details from the public. On the way to Cardiff the show’s press officer, Lesley, has a wary weather-eye out for possible leaks.
“We can’t discuss the show on the train,” she says firmly, as soon as we sit down. “People have done it before and had passengers who have overheard ring the tabloids. Everyone knows what you’re talking about as soon as you say ‘the Doctor’, you see.” So an hour later, when I am standing in a dark, otherwise deserted warehouse with the Tardis looming over me like the monolith in 2001 , I feel genuine frissons of both privilege and slight fear. Privilege because I am in a place where thousands of the show’s fans would love to be. After all, a mere 20ft away there is a top-secret spaceship being referred to as “the James Bond set”, which will titillate the spod glands of any Western adult between the ages of 17 and 50.
And fear because the Tardis — despite sitting on top of a pallet — looks unexpectedly legendary. It has the aura of something that has bounced off comets, arced over nebulae and oscillated through the farthest reaches of space-time. Even though, when I knock on its door, it is clearly made of wood.
The Doctor Who warehouse is a surreal place. Despite our last sighting of the Cybermen during Series 2, when an army of millions tried to take over the Earth, there are in fact only ten Cybermen in existence. Well, four now, due to breakages. I can see three of their legs poking out of a large cardboard box at right angles. The Daleks meanwhile are, contrary to all celebrity lore, actually bigger than they seem on television.
Being quite common, my first instinct is to steal something cool. I cannot be alone in this impulse. These warehouses are, presumably, an open invitation to cast and crew to take “mementos”. Everyone wants a Cyberman codpiece on their mantelpiece, surely? “To be honest, no,” says our tour guide, Edward Russell, brand executive of Doctor Who . “It’s like a family. It wouldn’t be worth their while because if they were caught they’d never work again. Everyone on this show is very protective.” He makes it sound as if, in the event of any transgression of trust, a hit-squad of Daleks might be seen trundling into a local pub and emerging minutes later with smoking ray-guns.
Of course, anyone venturing into an operation this big and, indeed, a universe this vast, requires a charismatic galactic chaperone. And as we all know by now, the resurrection of Doctor Who is down to one man — the joyous, expansive and prodigiously talented Russell T. Davies, the man who traded all his success with Queer As Folk, Bob and Rose and Casanova to do what the BBC had thought impossible for 16 years, namely to regenerate the abandoned Who and turn it into the BBC’s flagship. It is he, above all others, who is responsible for the best programme in Britain in the 21st century being, against all the laws of probability, a children’s show, made on a minuscule budget, in Wales, by gays. But perhaps Davies’s most crucial decision was his choice for the Doctor. For although in the first series Christopher Eccleston’s leather-jacketed, slightly demented hard-nut Doctor was the right man to make a break from the show’s heritage of frock coats, frilly cuffs and hammery, it is in David Tennant, the tenth and current Doctor, that the show has found its most appealing emissary.
While Eccleston approached the role prosaically as a difficult job to be done well, Tennant has taken it on with, well, love. A fan since childhood, he has been voted “The Best Doctor Ever” in acknowledgement that his performances, above all others, have best embodied the show’s values: anarchy, vigour, moral rigour, silliness and a reverential awe at how big, scary, complex, beautiful and full of bipedal aliens made of foam rubber the Universe is.
Meeting him in the tearooms of the Landmark Hotel in Marylebone, it’s clear why Davies cast him in the role. He has a quick wit, excess energy and self-deprecates at every opportunity (“Look at my mobile! It’s really boring! It’s about as intergalactic as a brick!”). He is also, let’s be frank, the first hot Doctor. He is the primary timephwoard. He was voted “Hottest Man in the Universe” by The Pink Paper , and New Woman magazine placed him at No 13 in its poll of 10,000 women’s crushes — just below Brad Pitt.
Tennant, however, disputes this assignation. “Tom Baker!” he says, with a Bakerish roar. “Come on! He was a huge hit with the ladies.” He was more of a specialist taste, I offer, primly. Something that WHSmith would keep behind the counter and you’d have to ask for.
“I’m sure Peter Davidson was in polls at the time,” he continues, gallantly. Perhaps aware that he is seconds away from attempting to mount a defence of the sexual allure of Sylvester McCoy, Tennant changes the conversation with a confidence that just, to be honest, proves how hot he is.
“This is a terrible anecdote, so I must tell it,” he says, settling into a chair with a coffee. “Last year Billie [Piper] and I kept getting invited to guest at award ceremonies but we could never go — we were either filming in Cardiff or we would be presenting Best Wig or something, and what’s the point of that? But when the Brit Awards rolled around, we let it be known through our ‘people’ that we’d love to present a Brit for Best Drunkard or something. But, pleasingly for the laws of hubris, they said ‘No, we’ll be fine, thank you’. They turned down the Doctor and Rose! Famous across the Universe!” Tennant does a self-deprecating boggle.
Talking to him is a mildly surreal experience. On the one hand, it’s the Doctor! You’re talking to the Doctor! On the other hand, he is as obsessive and passionate about the show as any fan. This is a man who can talk about the gravitic anomalyser without a protective layer of irony.
Dismissing the possibility that, paradoxically, becoming the Doctor could ultimately ruin the show for him — “I know what you mean, because all the surprises are gone, but I’d have gone mad if I’d turned it down and watched someone else do it” — Tennant instead spends the next hour discussing the show with all the enthusiasm and mild geekery of a fan, albeit a particularly privileged one. Discussing certain titillating morsels that Russell T. Davies has thrown into previous episodes, then not returned to — such as the intriguing news that the Doctor has, at some point, been a father — Tennant yelps and says “I know! I’ll be reading these things going ‘When are you coming back to that?’ Often he does. But sometimes,” he says, leaning forward, “he just drops them in for wickedness. There’s something he’s done in the next series, and I said ‘What’s that all about?’ and he replied ‘Oh, I’ve just put it in because it’s funny’. The internet forums will go into meltdown.” He beams.
“But you know, he knows what he wants as a fan. You want to be discussing it all the next week. You want to float different theories on what will happen next. That’s part of the pleasure.”
He comes across like a steam enthusiast who has taken over an old railway line. Every detail of the show thrills him, even the clothes. Indeed, perhaps the most surprising moment is when he explains how the image of his Doctor was, unguessably, based on the saviour of our fat schoolchildren, Jamie Oliver. “I’d always wanted a long coat because you’ve kind of got to. You’ve got to swish. Then Billie was on Parkie the same week as Jamie Oliver, who was looking rather cool in a funky suit with trainers. And I rang Russell T. Davies and said ‘Are you watching this? Could we do this for the Doctor?’ They had wanted me to wear a stompy pair of posh boots, but the trainers were the one thing I did go to the wall on.” Tennant bashes his hand down on the table, then laughs before adding: “I have to say, I do regret it when I’m doing a night shoot in a quarry of stinking mud and they’re putting plastic bags on my feet.”
The big news for the forthcoming series, of course, is that Billie Piper, who played the Doctor’s assistant, Rose, has left. As well as being phenomenally popular in the role — she was credited with bringing a young, female audience to a show that had previously lacked one — she and Tennant formed a famously matey duo. They always emanated the vibe of having spent their downtime in a Cardiff Nando’s, eating huge amounts of fried chicken with their hands and laughing with their mouths open. Discussing her departure, Tennant becomes quite tender.
“The last scene we shot was for [the episode called] The Satan Pit. Our last line was someone saying ‘Who are you two?’ and we (continued on page 6) reply ‘The stuff of legend’, then zap off in the Tardis. We just couldn’t get a take where we weren’t crying. If you look carefully you can still see us starting to go ‘Wah’.”
However, Tennant is stalwart in his enthusiasm for his new assistant, Freema Agyeman. “It’s a totally different energy — she comes from a totally different starting place. She’s very upfront about fancying [the Doctor], so he has to be very upfront about not being into it. It’s a completely new dynamic.” It’s Who 2.1, perhaps, I suggest. “Yes!” Tennant beams. “ Who 2.1!”
High on a deserted Welsh hillside, on the edge of a deserted slate quarry, Freema Agyeman, playing Martha Jones, films some of the last scenes in the new series. Something pivotal, which I’m not allowed to tell you, is happening to the Earth, in a time I’m not allowed to reveal, and Jones is watching the whole thing unfold from behind a rock. The rock, I can reveal, is grey and quite large. It is about the only thing within view that isn’t top secret.
Some 25 crew members are ranged around, tending to their roles. The sound team — always an outpost of licentiousness — have decorated their desk-on-wheels with a plastic flower nailed to a broom handle. One girl, possibly a runner, lies on her coat in the sun, texting sleepily.
Between takes, Freema bounds over for a chat. She is an immensely likeable, upbeat woman with a honking laugh, and it’s immediately obvious why Davies promoted her from a small role in one episode of the last series (an appearance now retrospectively explained as her having been Jones’s cousin) to one of the most high-profile roles in British television. Put simply, if you’re going to spend nine months of the year filming in a rainy pit, you want someone joyful and tough hanging out with you by the tea urn.
Agyeman is still in some measure of shock and denial over her new job. “I went to Selfridges last week to buy some beauty products, and asked the woman at the Elemis stall for some samples to takes home,” she says, casually twirling the Tardis key around her neck. “The next day my agent rang up and said they’d biked me this huge hamper of stuff — the entire range!” Before Agyeman landed the role of Martha, her acting career had been bumping along in such a half-hearted manner that she was working in her local Blockbuster, stamping out people’s copies of the Doctor Who box-set.
“Whenever I see clips now, I have a real insider’s view of the whole thing,” Agyeman says, swigging tea. “I look at what Billie was wearing in outdoor locations and check whether she could have worn thermals underneath. It’s often crucial.”
Breaking for lunch, the whole crew travels down the hill to the “base station” — a line of location buses and Portakabins. When Tennant turns up, dandy and wire-thin in his new electric-blue suit and precipitous quiff, the effect is roughly equivalent to the advent of the Fonz in Al’s Diner. He is clearly lord of this domain: he manages to hail, chat to and tease three crew members at once. By contrast, John Simm’s entrance is intense and low-key. As the pivotally evil Mr Saxon, Simm is in a black suit, wearing an ominous-looking ring and eschewing the buffet in favour of a quiet lunch in his trailer. “I can’t tell you anything,” he says, sighing. “I don’t think I’m even officially here, am I?” He shrugs.
Later on, in a waterfront bar back in Cardiff, Simm starts an admirably brisk line of whisky-ordering and explains exactly why he left a three-week-old baby to spend a month in Wales, on the side of a windy hill.
“It’s Doctor Who, innit?” he says, with admirable succinctness. “You’ve got to do it. And Christ, the energy they all put into it. Julia Gardner [producer] and Russell T. Davies were getting on midnight trains up to Manchester, to the set of Life on Mars, to ask me to do it.” The deciding vote, though, was cast by Simm’s five-year-old son, Ryan. “He’s Doctor Who mad. He’s got the lunch-box, the dolls, the screwdriver. As the dad of a small boy, you kind of have a moral duty to be a baddie on Doctor Who if you can, don’t you?”
Simm is keen to illustrate what he and Tennant have gone through to thrill this new generation of Who fans: just how far their dedication extends. “We were shooting one scene, just me and David, on top of this deserted mountain-top. We’re giving it our all when, from f**k knows where, you can hear the faint sound of an ice-cream van. David carried on so I thought, well, I’m not going to stop if you’re not going to stop. So we carried on right to the end, despite the fact that this must be the only ice-cream van in existence that does the theme tune to The Benny Hill Show — the least intergalactic sound imaginable!” He shakes his head. “We were, looking back, very professional that day.”
For Series 3 the BBC has taken the publicity for Doctor Who out of its own, often ramshackle, house and placed it in the hands of Taylor Herring, PRs to Robbie Williams, Big Brother and Al Gore. The new PRs, seemingly more aware of just how much interest there is in the show, have accordingly ramped up the screenings of the first two episodes. While screenings normally consist of a small room, 40 scruffy journalists and a table of coffee and buns, the Who screenings are treated like a movie premiere. Outside the Mayfair Hotel fans scream as a phalanx of paparazzi snap at the guests. While to judge from the celebrities present — Adam Woodyatt, Michelle Collins, Reggie Yates — it does look, by and large, as if someone took a van down to the BBC canteen and shouted “Anyone want to come and watch Doctor ’Oo ?”, there are sightings also of Jonathan Ross, Catherine Tate and Dawn French. Freema Agyeman is wearing a pair of £4,000 earrings, and both Tennant and Davies are resplendent in sharp suits, working the line like pros.
At the beginning of the screeningthere is, momentarily, no sound. The Tardis, iconic as ever, spins through electric-blue space-time to complete silence. Then the audience, as one, begin to sing the theme tune themselves: “Oooo WEEE oooooo/ OOOO ooo.” There is even an impressive counter-accompaniment of “De duddle le dum/ De duddle le dum.” It’s a moment of happy communal rejoicing.
Afterwards the consensus is that the potentially risky introduction of the new assistant, Martha Jones, has worked very well indeed, Tennant has ramped up his performance further, and the show seems set up to cruise into an even bigger Season 3. The very exciting kiss between Martha and the Doctor is being discussed at some length in the Ladies. Davies floats around, looking as joyous and serene as someone recently voted “Third Most Powerful Man in British Showbusiness” should, on pulling off another big success.
“The show is simply one of the best ideas ever, really, isn’t it?” he says, dragging on a ciggie and beaming. “So simple yet so complex. How can you not love a sexy anarchist roaming through time and space?” When asked if — given that Doctor Who has now, to all intents and purposes, overtaken EastEnders as the BBC’s flagship show — a larger budget would be more useful, he says a series of vaguely blustery and on-message things before roaring dramatically: “Yes! Yes! Yes, I want more money, goddammit!” And it’s hardly surprising that he does, considering that Who is still not being shot in HD — surely a foolish short-term economy, given the show’s inevitable longevity in repeats and DVD sales.
But all in all “I am a happy man,” Davies sighs, exhaling and staring across the room at the Doctor, his assistant and a circle of a dozen adults all squealing with excitement at being about to touch the Tardis. “A very happy man.” And he should, perhaps, feel a quiet satisfaction. After all, in a world where very little is a surprise and everything is viewed with cynicism, Doctor Who is a genuine rarity. It represents one of the few areas where adults become as unashamedly enthusiastic as children. It is where children first experience the thrills and fears of adults, and where we never know the exact ending in advance. With its ballsy women, bisexual captains, working-class loquaciousness, scientific passion and unremittingly pacifist dictum, it offers a release from the dispiritingly limited vision of most storytelling.
It is, despite being about a 900-year-old man with two hearts and a space-time taxi made of wood, still one of our very best projections of how to be human.
The new series of Doctor Who begins on BBC One at 7pm tomorrow

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When Christopher Eccleston left the series & David Tennant was announced as the new Doctor, my heart sank. I'd seen him in something else previously and hated it. So with heavy heart I watched the series with my 12yr old son, prepared for bitter disappointment. All I can say is - I'm so, so sorry for ever having had doubts! He's brought such unalloyed glee to the role that we both feel positively recharged after each episode. Please don't start introducing high - budget fx, though, because it just doesn't need it . Leave the over - blown stuff for the movies, the beauty of the Doctor is in the very attainability of his character. Kids can actually imagine meeting this hero or being lucky enough to be his companion. Spiderman, Superman et al may be exciting on a big screen but the Doctor has a feeling of intimacy & belonging that they sorely lack. Just keep up the great scripts, the fine acting & the huge sense of fun & it'll never go wrong again(no McCoy's ever again!).
F.Davies, Brighton, Sussex.UK
First of all it is a FAMILY show, not a c show or an a show, Torchwood is the a show and The Sarah Jane Adventures is c show, Doctor Who is a FAMILY show, like Strictly Come Dancing and The Two Ronnies.
Alex Kirby, Sydney,
Sexy anti-establishment types can be as vapid as their creators' intentions. A lot of the recent Doctor Who storylines have emotional depth but to live on the level of personal emotions all the time can make for a very superficial existence. I suspect that we'll have to wait for Russell T Davies to bow out before we see Doctor Who scripts that actually explore and comment on topics that emotion junkies don't normally like to discuss because they're too heavy.
This new series doesn't completely embody why I loved Doctor Who. What a shame that the producers feel that, to make the programme successful, they've had to humanise the Doctor's personality in order for the public to relate to him. It has neutered the character's alien nature. Can't we love him, as a companion really should, for the unsexy alien he was? That would be a real writing triumph - and it was in the past. This new series is to Doctor Who as the Sun is to the Times.
Andy, Edinburgh,
One of the great things about the success of the current, brilliant Doctor Who is that longtime fans of the programme can finally turn to the "not-we" and say, "Yes! This is why we love Doctor Who! You finally get it!"
A million thanks to RTD, Julie Gardner, Phil Collinson, Tennant and Eccleston, Piper and Agyeman and all the rest of the cast and crew for making such a wonderful programme, and letting the rest of the world share what we Doctor Who fans have known for decades that it's the best programme in the universe.
Josiah, Cheshire, Connecticut, USA
Come on. Tennant is not even on the radar in Who terms - not even a blip.
Mark, Bournemouth,
A bronze mine?
Bronze, my dear is MADE not MINED.
Does the Bronze Age ring any bells?
Craig Fleming, Edinburgh,
I think that david is the best doctor ever!!!! He puts lot's of enthusiasm in his great work with the dalek and the cybermen and others. My favourite episode is the one with the ood in. This tardis is the the best ever yet.The monsters have superb graphics. It could be scarier, but that is beside the point, because his works amazing it's the directors fault to make it less scarier than I expected, but......I've seen, the previews and they are scarier so I am in favour for it. The new companion is probably really good. The judoon leader is the coolest ever.
I watch it every week. If david tennant reads these I hope you appreciate my request.
Tony, Hornchurch, England
I think that david is the best doctor ever!!!! He puts lot's of enthusiasm in his great work with the dalek and the cybermen and others. My favourite episode is the one with the ood in. This tardis is the the best ever yet.The monsters have superb graphics. It could be scarier, but that is beside the point, because his works amazing it's the directors fault to make it less scarier than I expected, but......I've seen, the previews and they are scarier so I am in favour for it. The new companion is probably really good. The judoon leader is the coolest ever.
I watch it every week. If david tennant reads these I hope you appreciate my reques.
Tony, Hornchurch, England
How is it an intriguing piece of news that the Doctor has been a father? I never understand when people say this. His first companion (Susan) was his granddaughter, plus he also had an adopted daughter...
Calvin, Stavanger,
I really enjoyed this article - everything from the sly spoilers you slipped in there (I had no idea about the large, grey boulder) to the conversations with David and Freema and Russel to the overall laudatory tone of the piece. It really reads as something you enjoyed writing and I can't help but respond in a very positive way to that.
You nailed it when you said that with this show, adults become as unashamedly enthusiastic as children. (and I am unashamedly one of those adults)
I've been a Who fan for over 20 years, and to be able to go from never thinking I'd see the show again to getting to watch new, fantastic episodes every week fills me with unabashed fannish joy.
Thank you for writing this!
Noel, St. Louis, Missouri, USA
There are more female scifi fen than the showbiz knows of, Russell T. Davies often forgets that.
Women like their scifi stars hot and, in particular, their the females feisty and smart. Tennant falls into that category. :-)
Manuela , Luebeck, Germany
I think David Tennant is as sexy and charming as they come. As a very long time Doctor Who fan I have a love for all the Doctors. And although Christopher Eccleston was fabulous, his Doctor was made not to last long. "It's better to burn out than fade away" . And I enjoyed The Doctor's relationship with Rose in both of his incarnations. I think Evie is wrong in her accessment on Tennant's doctor. Eccleston's Doc was just as disreguarding and made just as many mistakes as Tennant's Doc. I am happy just to have Doctor Who back on TV to make any silly judgements. Tennant's Doctor is just as good a role model as Eccleston's Doc.
Venyce, Kr,,
Very enjoyable article. I never thought Ecclestone could be bettered but really, Tennant is well and truly THE Doctor! I am glad his character is written differently to Ecclestone's. It wouldn't have worked if Davies had tried to replicate his first Doctor.
I would worry though if more money were given to the show it might lessen it's simple charm.
Anna, London, UK
Not everyone finds David Tennant hot *or* a good Doctor - I find him neither appealing or a good actor. I do appreciate his enthusiasm for his job, but I find it an annoyance in his performance - the overacting is just appalling, and his Doctor is a megalomaniac with a penchant for mass murder and flip, merciless decisions that often seem patently wrong - how, I ask you, is that a positive role model? I much preferred Christopher Eccleston's well-rounded, deeply felt, more subtle performance as a Doctor who was broken and *knew* it, and was carefully putting himself back together again. Oh? And far, far, far hotter than David Tennant will ever be in a million years, with a much sexier and more moving relationship with Rose.
Just so you know everyone isn't drooling over the new guy. David Tennant is a nice man. The Tenth Doctor is a twit.
Evie Eastwood, California, Maryland
I remember when it was a bit 'wrong' to like Doctor Who. But you are so right. It's just the best idea ever! Your last two paragraphs sum it up perfectly.
Andrew, London,
Caitlin is right, the BBC SHOULD invest more money in Doctor Who. As technology moves forward, and as with the old series of Doctor Who, costs rise, this new version of the show will soon look tired and dated - even before it is broadcast if they don't up the ante and at least increase the budget to allow for High Definition!
Yes, the effects may be more expensive but it is supposed to be a huge hit - it may appeal to foreign broadcasters such as America more since they have taken HD practically as standard now!
Looking forward to Series Three - but as RTD says - more money - spent wisely, of course!
DT Hanson, Brough, Yorkshire
"It is he, above all others, who is responsible for the best programme in Britain in the 21st century being, against all the laws of probability, a childrens show, made on a minuscule budget, in Wales, by gays."
Great article, but I'm a little surprised to see the fact that some of the people involved in making the show are gay is even appearing in the list above - what relevance does that have to anything?
Louise, Newcastle upon Tyne, UK
At 57, at least I've stopped hiding behind the cushions now ;-))
Jonno, Lincoln, England
So glad to see Dr Who back and in such good shape - just shows you how wrong TV execs can be with what the viewers like. Some of us want to see more than Z list celebs leaining something or reality or talent shows. I may be one of the few current viewers who can remember the first episode or having seen a real police box in the street but there's been some inspired casting choices. I did wonder about David Tennant at first but not anymore. Billie Piper was one of the best assistants and they solved the problem with the Daleks mobility masterfully - even as a child I thought there was something deeply suspect about a master race that was defeated by stairs. Congrats all round I'd say.
carole, London, uk
To see the delight and excitement on my children's faces when the dum-de-dums start is something that I will always be indebted to Russell T Davies for.... without his enthusiasm and skill this version of Doctor Who would never have been made, and I'm sure he knows that by creating so many young fans over the last two years, he has ensured Doctor Who will be around long after we've all shuffled off. Cheers, Russ. Now if you could just see your way clear towards bringing back the Zygons...
Jack Woodward, Rochester,