Caitlin Moran
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So, this is it. The horror and wonder of June, as we strike the half-year, is that there will be the high of a Doctor Who finale – gigantic, 480mph, full of plot back-flips and epic set-pieces and sad farewells – followed by the poleaxing devastation of no more Who until Christmas.
I know that, in many respects, I am lucky that the ending of Doctor Who is the most traumatic occurrence in my life, in any given year. I am scarcely a blind orphan slave-child of Darfur. I do have my health. And yet, I cannot help believe that, were God truly merciful, he would have ensured that both Russell T. Davies and David Tennant were born with twins, so that, by rotating them and their doppelgängers in shifts, Who might remain in year-round production. Then, we would never hear that terrible sentence – up there with “It’s not you, it’s me” and “I just used your insurance documents to set fire to your house” – “And Doctor Who will be back on Christmas Day, in 178 days’ time!”
How’s this series been for you? It’s been amazing for me. Am. Azing. Although I remember crying more during the last season – the return of Sarah Jane, Madame de Pompadour dying, the Doctor heading off to confront Satan with “Tell Rose – oh, she knows”, Rose crying against the wall in her parallel universe, having lost the Doctor for ever – this series has had a bit more impetus. A bit more narrative thrust. The slow-burn arrival of the sinister Mr Saxon, and the possibility to speculate on just how/why/who the Master is, has allowed me to fritter away record new levels of time on Doctor Who forums. Freema Agyeman has been just brilliant as Martha – a total triumph, even taking into account that horrible burgundy jacket, and the inexplicable slacks. Being the assistant to follow Billie Piper must have been like taking over the Vic after Den and Angie. Yet Agyeman has pulled the whole thing off by being beautiful, spunky, and guttingly knocked back by the Doctor at every opportunity.
Although me and my gigantic nerd-gang of Who-freaks didn’t like the Jazz pig-slaves episodes, the writing has, by and large, been dynamite. The episodes Blink (stone angels) and Family of Blood (the Doctor turns human) are up there with the very best, and by the end of last week’s episode – the penultimate – I was chewing my fist and SCREAMING. Then drinking more supermarket whisky and SCREAMING. The Master has returned! He’s the Prime Minister of Britain! And now, inevitably, he wants to destroy the Earth!
Life on Mars’s fabulous John Simm plays the Master, rocking a winning combo of pantomime camp and total psychotic fury. It’s often genuinely unnerving – like watching Keyser Söze play Widow Twanky. The moment when Simm ripped open the sky, and dropped six billion Toclafane on the Earth – like when they release the Lottery balls, but with genocide – was absolutely thrilling.
So it’s the concluding episode tonight. In just 40 minutes, the Doctor, Captain Jack and Martha are going to have to find a way to transform the Doctor back from an old man to a young man, defeat the Master, remove six billion Toclafane from the Earth, and resolve a shedload of sexual tension. As with all last episodes of Who, there are no preview tapes, and the levels of secrecy around it border on war-time. I bumped into Mark Thompson, the Director-General of the BBC, at the Chelsea Flower Show, and even he doesn’t get to see it before broadcast.
Given that something huge happens tonight – something that, as we go to press, the tabloids haven’t even been able to catch a whiff of – this means the whole audience will be in for a genuine shock. That there are still major surprises like this, in an era when there is a price on the head of any gossip or exclusive, is yet another reminder of how special Doctor Who is. The people working on it have a passion for it, unlike any other show on Earth. It is as thrilling and as loved as Jolene, or bread and cheese, or honeysuckle, or Friday. It’s quintessential to being British.
It’s at times like this that one thought can still floor you: this is a children’s TV show, made by public subscription, in Wales.
Doctor Who, tonight, BBC One, 7.05pm

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I have only recently started watching Dr. Who and I must say I do not like to miss it. Watching the episodes with Rose was great and she is a good actress but I would have to say that I enjoyed the ones with Martha much more than Rose or Donna. Martha just seems to be in sync with the Dr.
Mae, Clio,
Oh, a fellow Whoian! Isn't our Dr Who addiction wonderful? Dr Who literally saved my life, and I can't imagine living without it. Oh, I know that sounds a bit sad, but it is the truth. Gives me something to look forward to, in life--it's fun, exciting, funny and even, sometimes, thought-provoking. Can do without the soap opera-ish elements sometimes, but I'm just a crotchety old maid, so that's just me. Love the show and hope it stays around this time, for a good long while.
Great article! Thanks!
Nancy (dustyboots), Glens Falls, USA NY
Having watched the Doctor since the 60's, I have to say that the last couple of years have probably been the most fun. Here in Dallas, Texas, we started the new series tonight. Only now can we begin to feast on what you have been enjoying the last 6 months. I will miss Rose. She was one of the most interesting of companions. I only have one show upon which to judge Martha but she seems very bright, her own person, and has the sexiest pair of eyes of any of those who have come before. She will make a great foil to the Doctor. I am in awe with what the current crew has been able to do with the Dr Who legacy.
Wayne Theus, Dallas, Texas
Oh, you!
Years and years underground, waiting, waiting...
And now it's time! Let loose the Fan-Gun!
You are of course quite right. In fact you're entirely right. Your pleasure is my pleasure, and I salute you/us/me!
Caitlin, your DW reviews are so much fun I sometimes wonder if you're RTD. Is it possible? Surely even he would hesitate to have quite so much fun saying how good he was?
Keep up the good work!
Steve Thrower, London,
Caitlin, Caitlin, you are a clever woman, an insightful and amusing critic and a good writer (hard to find these days).
But a woman like you doesn't get to be what and where you are without some character-forming highs and lows. I suspect that Dr. Who (which I have been watching and enjoying with my son since he used to hide from the Icemen behind the sofa) is far from your most traumatic experience.
Your critiques are better (and funnier!) when you keep your balance.
Peter Lloyd, BLACKER HILL, South Yorkshire, UK
Catherine Tate is Bonnie Langford in disguise - You have been warned, Earthlings...
Carl, Edinburgh, Scotland
Catherine Tate in all of the next series?
Oh no.
Judy, Macclesfield, Cheshire
I was happy to see the back of Freema. Though she is a very pretty girl, her acting range is really limited and seemed restricted to various types of wide-eyed gaping plus a sulky face. My one wish for the next season is that she doesn't come back - she's the worst companion the Doctor has had, and that includes Adric.
Christy A., Newcastle, Tyne and Wear
The worst aspect of Doctor Who under the new reign has been the sheer overblown wetness of it all. The sight of the Doctor weeping for the Master must rank as the least moving moment in TV history. Ugh.
This is a shame as the production values on this show are consistently high and the very best episodes have been excellent -although it's probably significant that none of them have been written by Russell T.
Caroline Kemp, Macclesfield, UK
Family of Blood and Blink were good episodes in what was an extremely poor season. As for the season finale, it was terrible.
Not that I'm a Doctor Who purist, I stopped watching the show in the early 80s, but Russell T Davies' cannot do sci-fi.
Nothing huge happened -- it took three episodes to reach tonight's climax, which was over in a flicker of an eye and seemed to be based on Lord of the Rings (Doctor Who becoming Gollum -- Tennant didn't just age, he shrunk too!), Harry Potter and Return of the Jedi (the burning of The Master's body on the pyre a la Darth Vader -- all we needed were Ewoks dancing in the background). The story's finish was was more akin to Scooby Doo than Star Wars though. And Martha Jones had no purpose whatsover and we will have get to know yet another new assistant next series.
Not that I'm one for the old days of Dr Who, but at least the writers treated their audience with intelligence with regularly well-scripted and often gripping storylines.
Michael, London, UK
Caitlyn. Hoorah another woman who loves Dr Who as much as me. I've watched it since I was 6 right from the very first episode. (You do the maths, it makes me too depressed!) Anyway keep writing the brilliant articles. I'm with you on the pig men. What was that about? But otherwise a brilliant season. The week between Human Nature and Family of Blood - God i thought it would never end. And as Russell would say Freema Ageyman - hoorah! How good was she? I'm sorry she is not in the next season so much but that decision is so right for her character. Sorry burbling on. Pining with you til Xmas.
Chris Webb, Ely, UK
A brilliant climax to the series!
Thrilling, moving â can't wait for more!
Doc M, Glasgow, Scotland
Actually I think the storylines have been very weak with an overreliance on CGI and famous historical characters. And a peculiar obsession with America, probably because the writers are either Eurosceptics or more concerned with selling their shows to The States. Daleks are boring me now, and the Cyberpeople just looked stupid. Also there is an overeliance on quarries and disused power stations (as if the future is going to be automatically more industrialised). Human shaped monsters are dull and insipid - there's been no real clever writing.
Jon Kingsbury, Southampton, UK
I can't agree more - and thankyou Caitlin Moran for making it OK for 30 something, professional intelligent women to say that the best thing on TV is a sci fi based kids programme.
I LOVED the ending - OK, it made me cry and shout NOOOOO at the screen because I felt Martha's pain and thought she'd been fantastic in the show, but once the wine had worn off a bit and I was thinking a teeny bit more rationally, I was filled with a 'you go girl' admiration for her which salved my paid (a little).
The stories have been superb - story arcs covering the whole series and tied up beautifully at the end. The acting was fab - John Simm was brilliant, as were the rest of the cast. It straddled the line between camp and pathos, silliness and satire and I loved every minute of it. Six whole months until the next series? They'd better bring Torchwood back pretty quick or I can see myself spending an unhealthy amount of money on DVD box sets.
Jo, manchester, gt manchester
I'm with Caitlin but please can we have Martha back - a strong, female sidekick with her own identity outside the Doctor is what we need - the mooning over Rose got extremely tedious - I prescribe more Martha for the Doctor (and the viewers).
Sara O'Connor, Beccles, UK
I'll certainly miss the Doctor and the beautiful David Tennant but I might just miss Caitlin Moran's fangirl enthusiasm even more!
Angela, Sydney, Australia
Agree about the Family of Blood and Blink episodes-brilliant. Not so sure about the series finale though. Weren't the toclafane appearing from the sky just a bit like the Daleks coming out of the breach in the last series? Isn't the Master just a bit too much of a Bond villain, and I'm not convinced sidelining the Doctor as an old man is a great idea-for all the strengths of the other characters, he is the heart beat of the show (or two heart beats to be more accurate). By the way, I don't subscribe to the BBC-they take money off me because I own a televison, and enforce their tax to the point of imprisonment for non-payment. Just thought I would get that off my chest!
Mike, Lydney, UK
I could hardly wait until the finale. Sadly, it was-for the most part --majestically BAD. Barrowman's character shouldn't have been brought back at the same time as the Master - it meant he was chronically underused and the Doc and Jack sharing
fewer scenes; a pity since Tennant and Barrowman played so well off each other. In season 1 the Doctor and Jack shared a delightful, subtle flirtation which gladdened the heart of MANY a female --and male --fan. We waited two years looking forward to more of the same and were very disappointed that it didn't resume. Davies had the Doc abandoning Jack at the end of series 1 and after all this time what lame explanation did he invent for the always compassionate Doctor leaving behind the man who had just DIED covering his back? Why, he RAN away coz Jack was now immortal! RTD is usually good at providing emotional satisfaction but by concentrating too much on the Martha/Doc/ Master relationship he dropped the ball on the Doctor and Jack. Shame.
Mel Reeve, Rugby, Warks
...And this 'enforcement of tax to the point of imprisonment for non-payment' just happens to lead to the consistent production of the best quality TV and radio in the UK (maybe the world), all for 40p a day. Or maybe there's a case to be made for the commercial channels? Mmmmm...wall to wall celebrity, reality, soap, dial-in quizzes and adverts. Just thought I'd get that off my chest!
Glyn chapman, Newport Pagnell, UK
Blink..*shudder* That was just creepy it made me jump..well let's just say I jumped alot..The family of is quite shocking as the doctor turns into a human and falls in love with a woman and Martha a nurse..The master is funny, he makes me laugh a dummy but smart..And I cant belive what happens on the very last episode on doctor who..Returning at christmas! I must see it. And you'll have to watch both 2 episodes to find out! :)
Lucy, Chessington, UK
Dr Who
The best show in the galaxy and David Tennant the best man in the galaxy .................but maybe the surprise is the Master turns into the doctor!
heide hardiman, newbury, birkshire
I think Doctor Who is getting better each season, however, I question why and how come the allegedly indestructible Tardis, is always being blown up, or ripped in half by the Titanic, oh how the plots thicken. As for Freema, although reasonably good, I was happy she left, knowing she may return, would love to see more alien worlds and perhaps UNIT and Torchwood involvement, oh and more rooms of the Tardis, rice pudding for tea, etc, etc.
Steve, Bristol, Bristol