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"I wet myself in the Big Brother house in a f******* caravan." Could there be a more painful statement to have to utter on primetime TV? Brian Belo may never recover from the confession he was forced to make in the reality show’s diary room last night.

And if he was hoping for sympathy, approaching the long-legged, short-fused Charley Uchea was a ludicrous move. The 19-year-old blurted his predicament to the housemate from hell and asked her what he should do. In typically nurturing fashion, the self-proclaimed It girl replied, “Don’t ask me. I don’t p*** the bed.”

Oh the horror! Yet if anything can comfort the humiliated Belo it will be watching the Big Brother tapes on his exit from the house. While it’s unlikely the other housemates will splutter anything quite so mortifying to the diary room camera, all embarrass themselves day-in, day-out simply by opening their mouths.

Whether, it’s the egotistical musings of Uchea, the self-important ramblings of Ziggy Lichman, the cutting wit of now departed housemate Lesley Brian or the garbled, make-up-stained laments that spill from Channelle Hayes' mouth, the housemates deliver daily gems.

Can any of their quotes match Belo’s shameful uttering? Not quite. But by goodness they come close.

Hall of shame

1: "I can't believe they were saying get me out, me of all people!"

-Charley on being told by new arrival Seany that the crowd were chanting for her to be evicted

2: “I can't even cry because my voice sounds like a bear.

-Chanelle sobs about a shortage of toilet paper

3: "I don't want to be perceived as the moany one."

- Nicky whinges about her reputation for moaning

4: “She just said I remind her of Pat Sharpe… that's a serious insult and I take insults very seriously… I might go back to older women."

-Ziggy fumes after Chanelle tells him he resembles the mullet -wearing Nineties TV presenter

5: "Deal wif it"

- Tracey on politics, life, death, love, fear, anger, hurt, children, releationships, family, aging, beauty and everyday life

6: "I know he's not going to be executed or anything, but I will miss him."

-Gerry laments Seany’s eviction

7: "It's an old man!"

-Seány commentates during Jonathan’s arrival at the house

8: “I'm out of here. People got chips on their shoulders. I can't help it if I'm the It Girl from the house."

-Charley demonstrates humility

9: “The poor thing was suffocating… He's like a little person. I speak to him sometimes".

-Gerry expresses his dismay following a practical joke that saw Seany cover his teddy bear, Freddy, in a condom

10: "How much is 360 degrees?"

-Brian after being told to do a dance routine including one 360 degree turn.

11: “I think he’s just missing his dog.”

-Following her departure from the house, Lesley comments on Ziggy’s relationship with Channelle

12: “I've been told that I'm damn good in bed".

-Nicky gives too much information

13: “That's why I'm the slimmest in the house".

-Charley demonstrates modesty when asked to explain why she spent half her shopping budget on tobacco

14: "I've lost the plot since I was born! I was born on another planet, on planet Zog".

-Shabnam, in a rare moment of self-awareness

15: “There's too much oestrogen in this house, and I think most of it is coming from Gerry.”

-Seany throws political correctness out the window as he discusses gay flatmate Gerry

16: “I can't help it if I've got a natural curl to my hair".

-Chanelle sobs following an argument over hair straighteners

17: "I'm just sniffing my mattress!"

- Lesley denies she's crying in bed

18: "It's pink!"

- Sam and Amanda describe the world through their eyes

19: "For example, you know skinny jeans, yeah? When did you get your first pair? A year? Two years ago? Well I had my first pair three-and-a-half years ago. I walked into the common room in sixth form and everyone was like, 'what the hell is she wearing?' And then a year later, everyone is in them, you know?"

- Emily informs the housemates that they are in the company of a fashion guru

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