STORYVILLE: ONCE IN A LIFETIME

BBC Two, 10.30pm

At last, Storyville is back on BBC Two. It is a shocking indictment of market forces and lily-livered schedulers that this masterly documentary strand has to struggle to get an airing on terrestrial television. Viewers complain about the dumbing down of television, and yet when the BBC produces a string of top-notch documentaries it buries them in a lead-lined coffin. Nevertheless, tonight’s 90-minute documentary tells the colourful story of the New York Cosmos – the pioneering US soccer team that turned sport into one long party. When Pelé was signed (with a little help from Henry Kissinger) he proclaimed: “Soccer has finally arrived in the USA!” But the pitch was so ropy that it had to be spray-painted green, and the new sport died a death on ABC. Soccer, like Storyville, needs an attention span longer than three minutes.

HOW WE BUILT BRITAIN

BBC One, 9pm

In the final part of this pleasant and gently absorbing series, David Dimbleby travels through the south of England looking at how British architecture changed during the 20th century. You might think that there is nothing new to be said on the subject, or that it is too broad a topic to cover in a single one-hour programme. But Dimbleby kicks such doubts suavely and effortlessly into touch.

He talks about the railways, the suburbs, the rise of Modernism, the first prefabs and the steel-and-glass architectural revolution in the City and Canary Wharf. But in the end, he says, most of us prefer to live in our funny little Hobbity houses that hark back to the past. Poor David Dimbleby. He’s going to become a National Treasure.

ROME

BBC Two, 9pm

I am sorry I was po-faced about this series after the first episode. My mistake was to approach it as a serious drama rather than a romp. As a drama, it’s a nonstarter. As a romp – with its hilarious dialogue, kinky sex’n’violence and high production values – it’s huge fun. The highlights of tonight’s episode include Octavian’s singular approach to courtship and Mark Antony’s reunion with Cleopatra. Who would have guessed that Marlene Dietrich’s gowns owed so much to Egyptian fashions circa 40BC, or that Romans sounded so much like 21st-century Brits? I wonder if students studying classics will find this series helpful . . .

THE ZIMMERS GO TO HOLLYWOOD

BBC Two, 10pm

The Zimmers (below) are one of the more unlikely rock combos. Tim Samuels, after making a film about the isolation and rejection experienced by the elderly that was broadcast in May, brought together 40 pensioners to record a cover version of The Who’s My Generation.

Two million people watched their video on the internet, and – after a slow start – the song entered the charts. The group were encouraged to smash up their dressing room on The Graham Norton Show, and three of them flew to LA to appear on The Jay Leno Show with George Clooney. Alf Carretta, the 90-year-old lead singer, says: “I was stuck in a rut and now I feel alive again.” See Caitlin Moran, page 4.

BEST OF THE REST . . .

DANCING WITH THE STARS

BBC One, 4.15pm

For fans of Strictly Come Dancing, here’s how they do it over the Pond. They get Heather Mills.

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