Brendan Bourne
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JEREMY PAXMAN, the BBC’s grand inquisitor, has focused his inquiring mind on a subject closer to home than his usual briefs.
The BBC2 Newsnight presenter believes the country’s manhood is being short-changed by their favourite brand of smalls.
Paxman has written to Sir Stuart Rose, the Marks & Spencer boss, complaining of “widespread gusset anxiety” suffered by both himself and his friends.
The problem, he says, is that M&S briefs no longer offer adequate support where it matters. Similarly the fabled retailer’s socks are no longer able to withstand the pressure from his toes.
“Like very large numbers of men in this country I have always bought my socks and pants at Marks and Sparks,” Paxman said. “I’ve noticed that something very troubling has happened.
“There’s no other way to put this. Their pants no longer provide adequate support. When I’ve discussed this with friends and acquaintances it has revealed widespread gusset anxiety.
“The other thing is socks. Even among those of us who clip our toenails very rigorously they appear to be wearing out much more quickly on the big toe. Also they’re no longer ribbed around the top, which means they do not stay up in the way that they used to.
“These are matters of great concern to the men of Great Britain. I just felt it was time that somebody raised this with the only man who can sort it out, Stuart Rose.”
To Paxman’s chagrin, his e-mail to Rose leaked and he has found himself as the standard bearer for concerned chaps up and down Britain.
“This was supposed to be a private matter and not intended for public consumption. But I do feel that someone should take up this mighty battle,” he told The Mail on Sunday. “I was astonished, when I raised it with people, that they all said the same thing. It has been the subject of widespread consultation, from my gym to the houses of parliament.”
Paxman’s concerns are widely shared on the high street. In the busy three-month run-up to Christmas, M&S’s share of its core lingerie market fell by 3% when measured by value, according to leaked research.
Ten days ago Rose announced poor Christmas trading with a 2.2% fall in like-for-like sales. “We have to compete with Tesco and Asda on men’s underpants,” he said.
M&S says it still sells four times as much lingerie as its nearest competitor and claims that, despite prices as low as £3 for packs of five pairs of male underwear, quality has not suffered.
A spokesman confirmed Rose is looking forward to discussing Paxman’s intimate apparel and has invited him to lunch with the promise he will bring along a range of pants.
“That part of the offer I’ve declined, but I certainly shall be having a top-level meeting with him,” Paxman said. “We’re going to discuss pants and elastic, among other things, and I’ll have an opportunity to ventilate this issue. If I don’t get any satisfaction we’ll have to think again.”
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