Simon de Bruxelles
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CARDIFF Doctor Who’s time-travelling Tardis hides a secret that may disillusion his legion of fans – it is transported not by the intergalactic power of dilithium crystals but like an Ikea wardrobe, flat-packed on the back of a lorry.
The shocking truth was discovered by diehard fans of the BBC’s long-running science fiction television series, who had been waiting for the arrival of its star, David Tennant. Technicians – who were not wearing white laboratory coats – were seen using ordinary tools to put the Tardis together, with not a sonic screwdriver in sight.
Sue Bishop, 32, said: “What a disappointment. I expected the Tardis to beam down from some far-off galaxy but it looked more like some flat-pack furniture from Ikea when it was pulled from the back of the lorry to be screwed together. It’s the last of my childhood fantasies shattered.”
The Tardis (Time and Relative Dimensions in Space) is best known for being bigger inside than it is outside. It is modelled on the blue police boxes that were a familiar sight in Britain in the 1950s.
Rhodri Jenkins, 22, said: “It was a bit of a shock. It took a while for them to put it all together.”
CORRECTION: I may well have had my extra-terrestrial technologies confused (writes Simon de Bruxelles). Only earlier versions of the Tardis were powered by finite energy crystals of the kind used in the USS Enterprise, though known by a different name. A little online research reveals that the Tardis itself has a direct transcendental link to the Eye of Harmony on Gallifrey using a dynomorphic converter.
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Seems the thing is powered by delusion crystals, then ;-)
Marcel, Brussels,
David Tennant is not really the Doctor??!!??
Next you'll be telling the kiddies that the Tardis can't travel into space.
Watching the workers this week, shifting and shoving the blue police box into position on a Cardiff street, inch by inch, was so funny to see yet it summed up the occasional dilemma of all of us Who tragics - that frisson of shock and awe when we must confront cold reality and the willing suspension of disbelief. The program is nothing if not thought provoking, and not only about Tennant's many charms!
Elizabeth Donald, Sydney, Australia
My wife is longing for the day I can find her a wardrobe that is bigger on the inside than the out. Will the BBC please start advertising Gallifreian furniture on their website for those of us who from this small planet in the Western Spiral Arm of the Galaxy?
Mark, Pecs, Hungary
tsssch.... How sad you people have no understanding of the 5th dimensional effects of time and regate flux upon multi-dimensional object in 3 D space. The effect is to make them an infinite number of 2 dimensional vectors withon planes - something that makes them look like flatpacked stage props...
Simple when you think it through...
Galifrey Bob, London, UK
how do these people know where the filming will take place and how can you find out as my 11 year old son is a fan aswell as being autistic sue newport
SUZANNE TIBBLE, newport, wales
It must take ages to screw together the Tardis with those stupid Allen Keys that IKEA gives you...
Scott Millson, Toronto, Canada
Simon,
Nice bit of tongue in cheek. I loved the quotes of the disappointed fans. I do hope that those were just as droll as the article.
(An American Doctor Who fan since the Tom Baker days!)
Lizzie, Houston, Texas, U.S.A.
I know about it been ikea ( flatpack ) so i dont bother me 1 bit
Dani, Leeds,
I suppose it has one or two parts missing and instructions only in Gallifreyan.
Frank Upton, Solihull,
Well of course that's not the REAL Tardis... it must be a decoy of some sort.
Inane, New York City,
WHAT! are you people serious. the TARDIS is just a prop the same as doctor who is just make believe. where do you expect the TARDIS to come from. seriously. lets be real here. you've just taken something competely ordinary, that happens on every television show and you've written it as if demeterialisation and time travel were real!
Charlotte , Mansfield, Nottinghamshire , United Kingdom
I'm sorry Damian (if that is indeed your name) do you seriously expect us to believe that Dr Who is some sort of made up, fantastical entertainment show ?!?!
Surely everyone knows that this is part of the BBC's documentary programming strand?
I for one, am glad to have the Doctor around to prevent us being overrun with these marauding off-worlders, who are continually trying to deplete our natural resources or brainwash our race.
Where would we be without him? That's what I want to know and I'm glad that the BBC are spending the licence fee on such things.
David, London,
Some time travel must have been involved for this to be news, as Dr Who Confidential showed the Tardis being put together years ago...
The Kitchen Cynic, London,
Dilithium crystals power the Starship Enterprise, not the Tardis.
RJ Taylor, London, UK
People, please! Dr Who is a TV show. The Tardis is a prop. Of course it arrives on a truck. How on earth is this news?
And here's another thing, David Tennant is not simply an alias for The Doctor's current regeneration. He is an actor, who plays a character.
You see, it's all pretend. David Tennant pretends to be The Doctor for our entertainment. The Tardis is just a prop.
Damian, London, UK
I thought it was the Starship Enterprise that was powered by dilithium crystals.
Mike, Brighton, England
I fail to see a problem with a flat-packed tardis
After all, if you were only to put up the one wall with the door in, it would truly be enormous inside...
Paul, Southampton,
I think that the fact that it is flat packed makes it even more amazing that it is bigger on the inside than the outside. What more proof to people need?
Neil A, Reading,