Michael Moran
Win tickets to the ATP finals
All the running and jumping that goes on at the Olympics is fine if you like that sort of thing, but the real entertainment is to be had from seeking out those niche sports that have been smuggled onto the programme by previous organisers.
Of course, beach volleyball springs to mind, especially to gentlemen of a certain age, but softball also sneaked onto the roster during that strange period in the 1980s when the USA seemed to host the Olympics permanently. Tug-of-war, rugby, polo, lacrosse, and golf have all been tried and found wanting but there are myriad other innovative sporting contests waiting in the wings for their moment of Olympic glory.
Hot Under the Collar Television has a splendidly diverting collection of video clips featuring possible contenders for future Olympic events. First on the list is the Maldon Mud Race, a festival of good old-fashioned dirty fun that will be familiar to anyone who has ever patronised one of our celebrated open-air festivals of popular music.
Another highlight is the Tough Guy race, a brutal contest of fortitude and manliness that climaxes in the Underwater Tunnel competition — certain to deliver a crippling ice cream headache to the unwary. In an admirable show of gentlemanly sportsmanship the Tough Guy race also appears to be open to female competitors. Please note: The clip contains scenes of toenail maintenance that may disturb younger viewers.
An event that most of us have been unwittingly training for is the Shopping Trolley race, a test of strength and balance that looks like a lot more fun than the weekly trudge around the aisles of your local supermarket.
Apart from a brief giddy vogue for motorboat racing at the beginning of the last century, motorised vehicles have been excluded from the Olympic Games. The organisers might make an exception once they see the hovercraft racing clip though. The unwieldy craft career around the course in a way that gives the world of sport that whiff of danger that jogging in smog somehow lacks.
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