Chris Campling
Attend an evening with Andre Agassi
Sport is difficult to be funny about. When it works, as with Fighting Talk (Radio 5 Live, now in summer recess) it's unmissable. But that's because the panellists are funny people first and sports fans second. Too often, though, the funniest lines are left on the floor of the pub, or on the terraces, where everything said is, of course, hilarious.
Two sports comedy programmes began this week. On Wednesday Look Away Now (Radio 4, 6.30pm) returned for a three-part series. Bereft of real people being funny, it opts for the sketch-show format - wisely, because if you take real-life events and throw battalions of top joke writers at them, you are going to hit more often than you miss.
It's presented by Garry Richardson - an unusual choice, one thought when the first series was broadcast. If anyone takes sport seriously, it's him (witness Sports Talk, Radio 5 Live, Sundays, 9am, where he asks really tough questions in a manner so mild that his interviewees come away not knowing that they've been mugged). What was he doing on a show that held up to ridicule the world of which he is so much a part? But it worked. Richardson with his hair down might have sounded much the same as Richardson with his hair in a bun, but Look Away Now really doesn't need a presenter with much of a personality. The jokes stand or fall by themselves.
And what a top line-up of one-liners we got last Wednesday. Having set the tone by mocking the usual troupe of failed British players at Wimbledon (one was doing quite well until his opponent turned up) there was a fine pop at the South African rugby coach, who notoriously defended the eye-gouging in the second Test against the Lions on the grounds that the basic rules of civilised behaviour had no place on the rugby field. So nor, by extension, do bigamy, identity theft and offering sexual favours for money.
Some of it failed, dismally, but that's what happens on the day, Brian. And there was much to admire, namely a wicked “interview” with Kevin Pietersen. Asked whether he still smarted after being deprived of the England captaincy he came up with the usual claptrap about caring more for the team than himself - “after all, Garry, there are no Is in ‘Kevin Pietersen'.” Apparently he's had them removed by deed poll. “People think I call myself ‘Kvn Ptsrsn' because of my South African accent, but I'm actually being 100 per cent phonetic.”
Speaking of cricket, much was made during the Ashes series of 2005 of the footballification of the game, whereby people who didn't know one end of a bat from the other were caught up in the excitement of a great series. For a time, the summer game became as much of a topic of conversation as the year-round game. It was, to a cricket fan, a frankly unedifying sight and sound, epitomised for me when Adrian Chiles, who had always come across as an amiable if slightly dull broadcaster, went on the radio before the last Test and said that he hoped the match would be rained off so that England could win the Ashes. Only a football fan puts the result ahead of the game. Luckily the next series, in Australia, was a whitewash and the likes of Chiles went back to having sleepless nights about the fortunes of West Bromwich Albion, leaving cricket to cricket lovers, not lovers of events.
But now the Australians are back, the first Test starts on Wednesday (ball by ball coverage on Test Match Special, 5 Live Sports Extra and Radio 4 longwave) and once again the broadcasters will be hoping that Ashes fever will grip the sort of people who think that Andrew Flintoff's first name is Fred. On Saturday there was the first of six “comedy” chat shows under the title Yes It's the Ashes (Radio 5 Live, 11am), in which Andy Zaltsmann and other people paid to be funny will be reacting to events during the series in a thigh-slappingly jocular way. Now, it is possible to funny about cricket - the Australians Roy and HG have been doing it for years. But they aim at the correct audience: the knowledgeable cricket fan. Zaltsmann - who does know and love the game, and has blogs on specialist cricket sites to prove it - has aimed his, it seems, at Adrian Chiles.
So Zaltsmann's programme was filled with “hilarious” made-up facts about the greats of the game, as well as reports from Zaltsmann's friends in Australia and America about how the inhabitants were gearing up for the series. Both countries were in the grip of Ashes fever, apparently - but one of the correspondents was lying. Oh, one's aching sides.
There were a couple of star guests - the comedians Phil Cornwell and Paul Sinha - supposedly there to offer humorous insights, but mainly there to laugh at Zaltsmann's tortuous metaphors (although Cornwell did establish his bona fides as a cricket expert by asking what the significance was of the numbers underneath the crest on the players' shirts. If he didn't know that already, what was he doing on a cricket show? Oh, right - being a Tottenham fan).
This Saturday, of course, we'll be three days into the Test, and Zaltsmann will have real cricket to discuss with Frank Skinner. He likes his sport, as we all know. Football, mainly. Big supporter of West Brom. If Skinner comes, can Chiles be far behind?
Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Everything the Business Traveller needs to know to make a better trip
Get ready for the winter sports season, with our resort guides and snow reports
We are backing British business, what is the confidence of the nation and what businesses are succeeding?
Growing demand for energy, oil that is harder to reach and the rise of carbon dioxide emissions. We examine the energy challenge
With rail travel in Europe on the rise, we review the benefits of travelling by train
In this special section we explore new food trends to help improve your dinner party and impress guests
Enjoy further reading from Travel to Fashion, Business to Sport, discover more
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
1998
£47,955
12 months for the price of 11 and a 5% discount.
Offer ends 31/11/09
Check your free Experian credit report before applying
Car Insurance
to £60K + bonus (OTE £90k)
Lord Search & Selection
Location Flexible
PwC’s Consulting practice helps businesses of all shapes
and sizes work smarter and grow faster.
£85k
CPA
Highly Competitve
Specsavers
Whiteley, near Southampton
Moments from Battersea Park.
For sale with Winkworth
Find out about shared ownership.
See your free Experian credit report beforehand
7nts - Penang £499; Borneo £699; All Inclusive £799 including flights, taxes, accommodation and private transfers
For your ultimate tailor-made ski holiday, click here
Get covered on your travels with a superb range of policies at great prices. Visit InsureandGo.com
World Class Golf, Spa and preferential Beach Club. Private estate overlooking West Coast
Villas from £275 per night inclusive of Golf
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths | Subscriptions | E-paper
News International associated websites: Globrix Property Search | Milkround
Copyright 2009 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.