Last night’s episode of The X Factor raised a series of perplexing questions – who sliced open Cheryl’s slacks? Is Whitney Houston pop’s most inarticulate star? Why does Stacey have an orthodontist’s dream bite while singing and appear buck-toothed when she stops? - but surely the most baffling was: how did John and Edward survive?

The Grimes twins deserved the boot for their outfits alone: red faux leather suits that picked up the stage lights and reflected them back into the disbelieving eyes of the audience. Crinkling alarmingly around their knees, elbows and underarms, they appeared to hamper some of the 18-year-olds’ more energetic dance moves.

And oh what dance moves they were! Out of time with the music, out of sync with one another, the boys certainly “made it their own”, their jerking convulsions nothing like the slick moves Britney Spears paired with the original version of her famous song Oops! I Did It Again.

But for all their efforts massacring the art of dance and removing all sartorial pleasure from the stage, it was the singing that the Irish pair really murdered. Just how does one sing in a monotone? It is near impossible – what with a melody naturally flowing up and down, up and down – and yet they managed it.

The judges, having recovered variously from hysterical laughter and blank disbelief, were so stunned that they forgot their usual selection of comments – “pitchy”, “make it your own”, “it’s about self-confidence” – and came up with brilliant originals.

“In the same way I reacted the first time I saw The Exorcist - I didn’t like it but I wanted to watch it again - that’s how I sort of feel about you,” said Simon Cowell.

And yet, when the viewers’ votes rolled in, it was she of the Rihanna haircut and poetic surname, Rachel Adedeji, and he of the puppy dog eyes and vast collection of hats, Rikki Loney, who were in the bottom two.

The twins meanwhile skipped happily through to next week’s show. How?

“Well, it was hysterical” says Times TV writer Alex Hardy.

“The bit where they took that Titanic dialogue from the Britney video deserves a British comedy award.”

Hardy, apparently along with plenty of the viewing population, wants John and Edward to stay on the show week in, week out to provide more hilarity. In other words, this is no longer about singing talent and very much about entertainment.

We’ve been here before. Remember the stiff silhouette of John Sergeant as he danced through round after round of Strictly Come Dancing, as infinitely more graceful, practiced celebrities were voted off?

Remember the American Idol contestant Sanjaya Malakar? The teenager made world headlines by surviving through to the final seven of the 2006 series despite infuriating the judges with his unaccomplished warbling and ever-changing hairstyles.

And yet the Grimes twins remain a unique phenomenon. Malakar and Sergeant charmed viewers with winning personalities, but while John and Edward may have the votes of the Irish and the odd teenage girl, they have done little to endear themselves to the larger voting public.

The pair revealed ruthless ambition when they sang over a fellow contestant during a boot camp audition in order to give themselves more exposure. Meanwhile, they’ve become known in The X Factor house for stealing other competitor’s food.

Their continued survival reeks of a new genre of Rickrolling. The phenomenon has seen Eighties pin-up Rick Astley awarded endless honours, including the Best Act Ever gong at the MTV Europe Music Awards, because voters thought it would be funny for him to win.

Will voting for the twins bring as much laughter as Astley winning a prestigious gong decades after his fame faded? Of course! If it was red leather in Week Two, what can be coming for Week Three?

And then, of course, there’s the look on Cowell’s face as he watches the credibility of his singing show dive...

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