Caitlin Moran
Your last chance to get tickets to Top Gear Live
Classic children’s TV. It is, thanks to a plethora of “I remember” TV nostalgia programmes, a conversation one now feels slightly self-conscious about having. It’s a bit like talking about Spangles, or Space Hoppers, or the Nolans. You feel a bit . . . Paul Ross. A bit Thornton.
And I’ve got to be honest – I don’t actually have any favourites from my childhood. All the “classic” shows I watched – Fingerbobs, Mr Benn, Ivor The Engine, Bagpuss – were shows from another generation, still being repeated at lunchtime ten years later. I was a child of the Eighties, when the real shows were Johnny Briggs, DangerMouse, Supergran, Bananaman, Dogtanian, Roobarb & Custard, Jossy’s Giants, Cities of Gold and Battle of the Planets – a group of programmes singularly marked by all having absolutely amazing/catchy theme tunes, but being very dull once the actual show started.
It was a televisual era split, largely, between cheeky, cheerful, accident-prone working-class kids narrowly avoiding being thumped by their dads (UK shows), and extremely poor-quality cartoons featuring things exploding in space (Japanese imports). As far as children’s TV went, I would catch the opening credits, sing along, then go off and watch my video of The Sound of Music for the hundredth time instead.
So perhaps it’s coming from a generation with a poor children’s TV heritage that makes me now, as a parent, marvel at my own children’s TV shows all the more. My God, but the early 21st century is a golden age for the little people. The TV out there is incredible. For starters, there’s none of that “Fingerbobs and King Rollo at lunchtime, and then that’s your lot until 3pm” malarkey that so blighted my own tender years. With Playhouse Disney, Nick Jnr, CBBC and CBeebies, a child could spend all day in a cathode wonderland, never once bumping against the cold, hard reality of The Young Doctorsor Pebble Mill at One.And the quality of the stuff is extraordinary. Witty, visually inventive, fast-paced and slyly educational, the very best children’s TV shows are so good that adults can actually gain pleasure from watching them – not something, I can assure you, that my parents could have said about Bananaman. With my husband, I once actually sat down after the children went to bed and watched Charlie and Lola.We were quite drunk, admittedly; but also keen to try and work out some kind of meta-text concerning Lola’s invisible friend, Soren Lorenson.
Of course in TV terms, Charlie and Lola – while still unquestionably classic fare – is rather old hat. For while ITV1 may be planning to entirely cease production of children’s shows, the advent of multichannel means that there are more programmes – for younger children, at least – than ever before.
The three new kids on the block are Little Einsteins, In the Night Garden and Bunnytown. In the Night Garden is the new preschool blockbuster from the creators of Teletubbies – the merchandise was the hard-to-get Christmas purchase of 2007.
On an initial viewing, a staring parent would, undoubtedly, register the luxuriant production values, superior characterisa-tion and restful air. This is, after all, a show set in a magic wood in the night sky, and populated by humming, rolling pillows.
However, read any interviews with the show’s creators and you find that there is a motive behind the show so benignly helpful that a more stressed parent might feel inclined to break down and cry with gratitude. What In the Night Garden is trying to do, apparently, is help to alleviate sleep anxiety in small children, and let them calm down before bedtime.
Those cots that turn into boats and float into a sea-sky; the humming pillows and tightly packed Pontipines in their truckle bed – it’s like some kind of occupational art therapy.
A world away from In the Night Garden’s balm-like, opium stupor is the rigorous cultural workout of Playhouse Disney’s Little Einsteins. One of the slightly smug truisms that pro-TV parents are wont to trot out in an argument is the educational values of many shows.
Dora the Explorer is always cited as a case in point. “ Dora the Explorer has taught my child to speak Spanish before the age of 3!” they will say. As someone who has regularly used this line, I feel I can now – some years later – admit that Dora The Explorer’s educational powers are fairly limited. Counting to ten and being able to say “Multi multi chocolata” is about the extent of it.
Little Einsteins, on the other hand, is the real deal. It’s a show that appears to have Lisa Simpson and Niles from Frasier as executive producers. In every show, the Little Einsteins gang have a featured composer and painter, which the plot revolves around. In practice, this means the often--startling occurrence of walking into a room where a bunch of six-year-olds are screaming “Diminuendo! Diminuendo!” over Ode to Joy, as pictures of German folk art animate on the screen.
Finally – as contrast to In the Night Garden’s dreamtime and Little Einstein’s flash-card academe, is Playhouse Disney’s Bunnytown. Bunnytown is just silly.
Really, superiorly, cheeringly silly.
Made by two Jim Henson alumni, Bunnytown is a joyous show – a brightly coloured, flower-power Bunnyland, where every show ends with an Elton John-type bunny hammering out The Bunnytown Hop. Bunnytown’score values are a freewheeling psychedelic whimsy – racing eggs, flying houses, magic elevators – and a panoply of extremely silly voices. There is a small, dim, blue bunny-child who can say only “ice-cream” in a growly voice, who reduces me to weepy laughter every time I watch. Although, bear in mind, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for nearly seven years now.
You see, when it comes to children’s television, one must be without ego or doubt. While I give my children love, attention and all that jazz, to be honest, the television trumps me time and time again in terms of entertainment. I can neither guide them through the works of Brueghel, animate the night sky nor sing a raucous rock’n’roll song about hipperty-hopping. But I know some guys who can. And, while they do, I can put the tea on and read OK!
Explore your passion for food with the delights of Thai, Indian & Chinese cooking
In our new series, Tony Hawks takes a dry, wry look at modern life - junk mail, interminable meetings and snooty sales assistants
Read the training tips and advice that helped our London Triathletes
Read our exclusive 100 Years of Fleming and Bond interactive timeline, packed with original Times articles and reviews
The latest travel news plus the best hotels and gadgets for business travellers

Find tickets for:
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
2007
£30,000
2006
£14,337
2008
£39,937
Great car insurance deals online
c.£75,000
GlosFirstmeansbusiness
Gloucestershire
£32,795 - £41,545
Universitry of Southampton
Southampton
£
£32,795 - £41,545
Universitry of Southampton
Southampton
Competitive Package
Npower
West Midlands
1 & 2 Bed apartments
From £249,995
Great Investment, River Views
Great Dubai Investment Opportunities
from £89,950
low-cost ownership homes in London
Las Vegas SALE!
£POA
With Ramblers Worldwide Holidays!
£POA
List your property with two leading travel websites
£POA
Great travel insurance deals online
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times. Globrix Property Search - search houses for sale and rooms and property to rent in the UK. Milkround Job Search - for graduate careers in the UK. Visit our classified services and find jobs, used cars, property or holidays. Use our dating service, read our births, marriages and deaths announcements, or place your advertisement.
Copyright 2008 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.
Bananman and Cities of Gold were among my all-time favourite shows, along with Willy Fogg and Belle and Sebastian. The great thing about those cartoons was that they were adaptations of great books, so they had really thrilling stories to follow. Though I admit, I did always watch the theme tune to Byker Grove, then switch off. Realism has never been my favourite genre.
My fondest memories are of the annual BBC Christmas adaptations of the Narnia books (now being made into movies).
Of course, the best 80s kids' show was Why Don't You, which always made me feel guilty that I spent all my time watching TV and not going outside and doing exciting things (though it didn't change that fact either...)
Juliette, Birmingham,
"My God, but the early 21st century is a golden age for the little people."
I could not agree less. The dross that we have pumped from the television screen these days is mind numbing rubbish. I know of children as young as 4 that would rather watch Dangermouse than teletubbies and I always classed Dangermouse as a lesser show.
Your attitude towards the low quality animation shows just one thing. You are comparing animation of the time to animation now. Yes it has come on in leaps and bounds but for the time it was very good. Muffin the mule looks very poor if you look back at it and compare it to something like Lazy town.
The shows you list are only a minute sample of the show available. Compare todays dross with show like He-Man, Thundercats, Starfleet, Ulysses 31, Jayce and the Wheeled warriors.
Of course if you want to see a true classic look no further than Jackanory. Now revamped with a cartoon and the story just a narration, rather than the main event.
Mark, Leeds, West Yorkshire
I think there are rather selective examples posted here, it is not simply a case of rose-tinted nostalgia, there was simply a lot more money spent on producing a more diverse range of productions.
EG with animation, a large number of TV shows are made using Flash, which tends towards a very samey retro UPA look and gag-based one-hit storylines . Its not that clever things can't be done with these mediums, but they limit the type of expression used.
Long form narrative animation has virtually disappeared, such as Cosgrove Hall's stop motion "Wind in the Willows" fromt he 80s, DIC's "Mysterious Cities of Gold" & "Ulysses 31" etc were all outstanding examples of imaginative, rich concepts that did not talk down to its audience. And they had a far bigger audience, if theres nothing good to see, ratings fall.
And whilst there are some very good examples of recent kids TV, eg South Pacific's "Maddigan's Quest a couple of years ago & "Johnny and the Bomb", they are few and far between.
Mark, UK,
Caitlin, how can you say these things; as an 80s child, I feel betrayed!
Towards the end of the 80s I remember some seriously strange and intelligent dramas (Moondial, Century Falls) that have stuck with me ever since, as well as the greatest ever show: Knightmare.
And never forget the BBCs Chronicles of Narnia Series, which is truly great if you can overlook Aslan's dodgy lip synching.
There was Box of Delights (with the fake clergymen and a rat who had a thing for green cheese). There was a glorious adaptation of Tom's Midnight Garden. There was John Craven!
Finally, on the imports side, let us not forget Sharkey & George and the Racoons. RIP.
Lizzie, London,
I still base my recognition of dogs, as to which character they played in Dogtanian
one for all & all for one, etc
Tommo, Bury, Lancs,
Hmm,
While I certainly agree that the 80s were short on quality children's TV, I still remember with fondness Tony Robinson's "Tales from Fat Tulip's Garden" and "Odysseus: The Greatest Hero of them All" - proper storytelling and great fun!
Martin, London,
There's a problem with this Caitlin. Children are becoming ever more indulged and TV is no exception. I'm the same age as you and my childhood TV was as much about 'Day of the Triffids', 'Edge of Darkness' and 'The Young Ones' as it was about 'Dangermouse'.
Children will have to be introduced into the adult world some time, even if its a glimpse, otherwise they become children in adult bodies...
Nick, Leicester,
You know, now you mention it, I think you're right!
I too am a child of the 80's.
What we would have given for the Cartoon Network.
Have you noticed that a lot of the humour in todays cartoons is also dotted with adult humour?, not the rude stuff but jokes only an adult would understand.
Spongebob, Freakazoid, I.M Weasel, Cow & Chicken are full of them
Damn funny stuff. I confess that at 37 yrs old I still watch toons :)
Phill , The Wirral, England