2. Maggie Gyllenhaal: the sole representative of LA’s quirky set in Prada.

3. Halle Berry: gorgeous Versace frock. Great colour — and compared with her previous choices, positively nun-like.

4. Natalie Portman: so beautiful that she could wear almost anything, but this brown tulle Lanvin dress suits her colouring.

5. Saffron Burrows: cool and understated, Burrows proves that Temperley tropical florals work after dark.

6. Kirsten Dunst: sweetly elegant in black lace Chanel. But it’s her hair that looks so good; it’s the most uncontrived look of the night.

7. Hilary Swank: fabulous inky Guy Laroche. Demure at the front, stupendous at the back — all the better to show off those method muscles.

8. Gisele Bündchen: ethereal in Dior. Only a woman of supermodel stature could pull off this striking Empire-line gown, polished off with perfectly tousled hair.

9. Penélope Cruz: faultless simplicity, Cruz shines in the softest yellow Oscar de la Renta gown.

LOSERS

1. Charlize Theron: researching her next role as a wedding cake, courtesy of Dior.

2. Beyoncé Knowles: proving that you can be too rich. As much bling as a Tutankhamun exhibit.

3. Barbra Streisand: so much breast she looks like a Bernard Matthews turkey. Put them away.

4. Virginia Madsen: Versace saloon girl meets Afghan hound.

5. Annette Bening: such a pretty face, such an unflattering Armani neckline.

6. Renée Zellweger: more squashed bosoms, and hair that makes her look as though she has morphed into a geisha.

7. Anjelica Huston: Morticia Addams lives.

8. Gwyneth Paltrow: she wore strapless pale pink when she won the Oscar six years ago; it didn’t fit then. This Stella McCartney dress does nothing for her.

9. Scarlett Johansson: elegant frock, shame about the poodle hair.