Jeremy Clarkson
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From
May 4, 2008
Outlander 2.2 DI-DC Diamond
Look, mums – a 4x4 planet saver
All black men are thieves. All Jews would sell their mothers for a pound. All Muslims are suicide bombers and everyone in Ireland is as thick as a slab of cheese. Yes. Right. And everyone with a Chelsea tractor is a stick-thin blonde whose head is so full of useless social engagements that she can’t actually be bothered to steer round other cars, street furniture or bus shelters.
It ain’t necessarily so. All sorts of people buy 4x4s for all sorts of reasons. And contrary to what the global warmists would have us believe, only some are stick-thin blonde women who won’t actually stop until the underside of their car is so jammed up with run-over pedestrians the wheels won’t go round any more.
The wave of hatred, then, that engulfs the off-roader is nothing more than ill informed prejudice. And what makes my blood boil is that things are getting worse.
I do not have much time for people who get dressed up in camouflage clothing and take to the countryside in their Land Rovers to see who can get most covered in mud. This is known as “green laning” and it’s as ridiculous as pushing a kettle over a frozen lake. I wouldn’t want to stop them doing it, though, partly because they’d all be at home otherwise, downloading unusual images from the internet, but mostly because it’s fairly harmless.
Oh no it isn’t, say the ramblists. They argue that green laning is noisy and causes polar bears to drown. One group, the Yorkshire Dales Green Lanes Alliance, says that taking a vehicle for the purposes of fun onto a green lane should be “an offence”.
Now, even if we ignore the difficulties of policing such a law, or of making a case stick in the courts - “I wasn’t doing it for fun” is hard to disprove - we are left astounded at the narrow-mindedness of these people. Not even the communists or the Nazis attempted to make “fun” an offence.
And unfortunately it doesn’t end here because those of a four-wheel-drive disposition are being targeted, not only in the countryside, but in towns as well with local councils saying now that anyone who drives a large car on the school run must pay £75 a year for the privilege.
This is insane. Like many parents, my wife and I have a big, seven-seater Volvo, not because we used to lie awake at night dreaming of the day when we could own such a thing, and not because we always wanted, more than anything, a car that sounds like a canal boat. No. We have it because we are part of a school-run car-sharing scheme.
And the fact is this: by filling our Volvo with six children every morning, we are keeping three other cars off the road. So why should we pay more than someone who takes just two kids to school in a Mini?
In reality, a Mini takes up exactly the same amount of space on the road as a Volvo XC90, so therefore, it should be the Mini driver who’s made to pay a premium while those of us with large, high-occupancy vehicles, are allowed to proceed for free.
I mean it. I would far rather own a Cooper S than a Volvo.
It is better looking, nicer to drive, cheaper to run and cheaper to buy. But I don’t. I sacrifice my love of driving, my love of cars and the contents of my bank for the public good. I should therefore be rewarded with gifts, free passage and some thank-you letters from the world’s polar bears.
Yes, I know I’m supposed to make my children go to school on the bus, but I can’t - for three reasons. One, they’d get lost. Two, they’d catch a disease. And three, there isn’t one.
So, if you are in the same boat as me, and you fancy the idea of a school-run-sharing seven-seater, there are many choices, and almost all of them are terrible in some way. The Audi Q7 is ugly. The Land Rover Discovery weighs more than the moon. The Vauxhall Zafira is a Vauxhall, and the Ford S-Max, while attractive and good to drive, is a mini people carrier . . . and I’m sorry but nothing says you’ve given up in life quite so spectacularly as a car designed entirely to be practical. It’s motoring’s equivalent of a tartan zip-up slipper.
Small wonder, then, the XC90 is almost a part of the school uniform these days. It’s practical. It’s reliable. It has a reputation for safety. With a towbar on the back, it’ll pull a horsebox. I even have a friend who fitted winter tyres and uses it for shooting. But there is one problem. When it first came out, it was good value at less than £30,000. But now the top models are nudging £50,000 or more. And that makes it even more expensive than a packet of pasta.
Which is why my eye was drawn last week to the new Mitsubishi Outlander. Here we have a car that seems to do everything the Volvo does, in a smaller package, for less money. A lot less. The range starts at less than £20,000 and even the most expensive model is only £27,000.
I do not know how such a low price is possible when, so far as I can see, a cut of the profits will be going to every car firm in the world.
The Outlander, amazingly, is based on the same platform as the Mitsubishi Evo X that I reviewed last week. But the car itself was designed in conjunction with Mercedes-Benz when it was in bed with Chrysler, so it shares a great many bits and pieces with the Dodge Nitro, a silly car for silly Americans.
Then there’s the French connection. The Outlander, having been designed in America, Japan and Germany, is being built in conjunction with Peugeot and Citroën, which offer their own versions of the same car. And the 2 litre turbodiesel engine is made by Volkswagen.
No matter: despite the United Nations nature of the background, the end result is quite good.
We’ll deal with the drawbacks first, and that means we have to start in the boot, where there is an essay on how the rear seats should be raised and lowered from the floor. I think it’s designed to be difficult, because then you’ll never actually discover that when the seats are in place there’s no rear legroom, at all, and not much boot left either.
It’s best, then, that on a shared school run, to put the kids you don’t like very much back there.
Next is the four-wheel-drive system. Most of the time you’re in two-wheel drive and that doesn’t really work when the car is fully loaded. Every time you put your foot down, the front end goes light, the driven wheels lose their grip and everything, for a little while, goes all wobbly. Best, I think, to hang the extra fuel consumption and leave it in 4WD all the time.
And that’s it. Those are the drawbacks. All two of them. The rest of the car is well made, well equipped, well trimmed and, like the Evo, fitted with Mitsubishi’s brilliant sat nav system. I also think it is good looking and, despite the fact you can only have it with a diesel engine, quite good to drive. It feels much lighter and more responsive than you might imagine.
Of course, it’s not as much fun as a Mini, it’s not as practical as a Volvo and it won’t be as cheap as its sister car from Citroën . . . not if they do their usual trick of offering customers £1m cashback and the chance to sleep with the managing director’s wife every other Saturday.
But as an overall package, it’s a good way of getting into a car-sharing scheme. Yes, you’ll be charged £75 by idiotic, blinkered councils, but look at it this way - you’ll save the planet, keep the polar bears alive, cut congestion and, best of all, on the mornings when it’s not your turn, have a lie-in.
Vital statistics
Model Outlander 2.2 DI-DC Diamond
Engine 2179cc, four cylinders
Power 154bhp @ 4000rpm
Torque 280 lb ft @ 2000rpm
Transmission Six-speed manual
Fuel 38.7mpg (combined cycle)194g/km
Acceleration 0-62mph: 9.9sec
Top speed 124mph
Price £26,999
Road tax band F (£210 for 12 months)
On sale Now
Rating 
Verdict Good for Earth and your pocket
Sorry Jezza, but you're wrong about the Nazis. They did ban all sorts of fun things like abstract art and "unGerman" forms of music and comedy during Hitler's time in power. However, they were also very keen on big and pointless vehicles.
Mark Hale, London,
my mum does 500 miles per year in a tiny car. she should pay 1% of what a hairy salesperson does in his/her 2.5L motor doing 60k miles/year. tax on useage ,with a factor of c02 added, would be fair and simple.
thomas, Baguio,
"The wave of hatred, then, that engulfs the off-roader is nothing more than ill informed prejudice."
Considering that you've made a career from "ill informed prejudice" aren't you being more than a touch ingenuous here, Jeremy?
Kevin, London, UK
You are correct in what you are saying, Jeremy, but it will never change because that would mean that our councils and government know the meaning of "common sense", which they don't.
Franziska, Sevenoaks, UK
hi jeremy i agree totaly with what your saying. i hate these green people. all they do is make a newsense out of them selves. any news on this bio fuel thingy?/ thanks
ollie, ely, cambridge
We already pay tax on fuel, so we are taxed by usage. The more fuel you use, the more tax you pay! Bigger the car, more fuel tax. Buses are non existent where I live, so that is definitely out; but the fumes and choking smoke that comes from their exhausts are not good for people or the environment.
Taxed out, Birmingham,
This decision in North Yorks does not stop the local aristocrats and land owners grouse shooting but maybe that's not classed as fun. Seems there is a bit of snobbery going on here
Dave Marshall, BRADFORD, England
I drive a safe, fast and reliable Volvo S60T5 that will do 34 to the gallon when I drive to and from work. I dont drive a not so-Smart car because when that 40 ton lorry that is tailgating me on the motorway goes into the back of me I want a fighting chance. Tax on use not size.
Mark, Guildford, UK
How can anyone take advice about practicality from someone who owns a 50K vehicle for the school run and Lambo for the weekends.. laughable.
The goverment is axing tax for some smaller greener cars, but hiking the price for bikes when almost all bikes are smaller and greener than ANY car!?.. mad.
Mike P, Kent, UK
I have to disagree with david, the only fair way to do it would be to tax by:
- miles per gallon or CO2 emissions
- divided by the number of seats.
hence why we're constantly being told to get the bus, per passenger its the most efficient way, the same as the outlander is better than the mini.
lee eddy, Newton Abbot, UK
Despite what JC says, I still think that large cars should be taxed more than small ones - perhaps a 'factor' based on length x width x weight might be used. High fuel consumption should be curbed by the price of fuel at the pumps, not by basing the road tax on some figures generated by car makers.
David, London, UK
Thanks Jeremy, mine's on order ....ps I'm not stick thin but I am female...the 2.0 diesel is by VW but the diamond spec has the PSA 2.2 diesel and as you say needs to be kept in 4wd to keep traction...good - lots of torque
sue , Stone, Staffs
Wrong Jeremy! 4x4s are generally driving by the clinically obese, not by stick thin people. Have a closer look!
Bob Powell, Fareham, Hampshire
Personally I hate 4x4 for the simple reason is that they're to fat to overtake on most country roads. They also obscore my view, meaning i'm less likely to see other vehicles..
Jamie Brown, Maidstone, England
2.2 diesel engine made by Volkswagen?ist it a peugeot citroen ford engine?
machin jean, angers, france
Mitsubishi?? Ah yes, a wonderfull Scottish company. Ok, ok ok.
Not Scottish any more, but a scotsman (Aberdonian) was the key figure in building the shipbuilding company that was to become the Mitsubishi Corporation of Japan. If interested, check out Thomas Blake Glover.
Sheldon, Brussels, Belgium
I own ten year old 4x4 in 2 wd nearly all the time. In 3 years I ve greenlaned twice, I use it to or shift neighbours garden watse to recycle, also fridges, mothers garden waste, old wood recycled from shool in which I teach etc. Councils are useless at this - I should get tax breaks.
andrew, rural, england
Why do you need a sat nav for the school run?
David Leslie, Perth, Scotland
Nice car, wish I could afford one. But you sound a bit like that bloke who used to complain all the time about caravans and wanted them banned (or even burned). Funny that.
william terence stubbs, Cheltenham, England
Jeremy, many thanks for your noble efforts.
Best wishes, Brumas.
Brumas, London,
Another fatuous red-herring about "school-run-car-sharing-schemes". Why don"t the little rascals WALK to their schools as we did?. A five mile stroll there and back was enough to keep us out of mischief and off the computer for a few hours, so to speak, (though in those days we had fretwork saws)
Albert Grudge, Taunton, UK
Why has Jeremy got it in for polar bears? He is always rabbiting on about them but I've never heard a polar bear rabbit on about Jeremy.
Dave, Melbourne, Australia
the taxing in britain is aimed at achieving the behavioural results that the government wants. this is in line with most of the other controls that the government has placed on its citizens. deciding whether or not you are allowed to smoke in public, what TV you should be showing your children...
MM, Sydney,
Blah, blah blah....
Excuse, excuse, excuse...
It's a car, a boring big car that will take far too much energy to produce and never see a rutted road in all probability.
Sorry Jeremy, I'm losing interest.
G
GJR, Oxford,
Can't believe Minuteman took the bate....there's one born every minute, man.
james, Monteria, Colombia
oops...bait.
james, Monteria, Colombia
Silly car for silly Americans.................... please stop this on going BS and focus on things you may know about, and not bang on about subjects you have absolutely no idea about.If you can't bring yourself to be at least neutral about our country, keep quiet.
Minuteman, Carlisle Township, US / Ohio
Jeremy, you mustn't get worried by the Polar Bears. They have increased in number from an estimated 5,000 in 1972 to 25,-30,00 today and continue to prosper as even the WWF acknowledges (Stefan Norris, WWF May 2002). How anyone works out that they are under any threat is a mystery.
Jamie Cawley, Beaconsfield, UK
Oh dear Jeremy, I am very worried about your maths. I really hope Mrs C does the household finances.
" by filling our Volvo with six children every morning, we are keeping three other cars off the road."
My humble Fiesta happily carries four children. Do the other three cars have one occupant ?
Jan Smith, Bromley, UK
People are commenting about Jezza for Mayor. Hmm..., I'm waiting for him to be a candidate for Prime Minister - aim high!
Darren, SOUTHAMPTON, uk
Jeremy, having just voted on Thursday for mayor I didn't see your name on the ballot paper? Where was it? You would have beaten both Ken and Boris
Chris, Leatherhead,
Cheaper to run and cheaper to buy not in this tax hell hole called the United Kingdom.
Clive, Dartford, Dartford,UK
You have taken the eye off the ball this time. Why let Boris become Mayor of London? You would be just as good and like Boris you could still use the job as a spring board for Prime Minister. Was it that you did not want to cycle for the camera?
Philip Pank, London,
Jeremy, you have taken your eye off the ball. You could have been a better Mayor of London then Boris. You could have used the job as a springboard for Prime Minister. World domination would have been only a step away. A tip for saving the polar bears, encase them for posterity in a glacier mint
Philip Pank, London,
Just because it is fashionable to buy these ridiculous 4 x 4 vehicles does not mean it makes any sense. Making them taller and heavier than is necessary for road use means that they don't handle as well (crash avoidance) and twice as more likely to kill other road users when invloled in an accident
Chris Griffiths, Coventry, UK
Ha, so even practical vehicles being used practically are being considered the enemy, joy. Perhaps you should run for office and stop all this taxing rubbish. Just think of how much money could be saved if they weren't spending it on speed cameras!
Chase, Ocean City, MD, USA
Yeah, the 2.2 is a PSA unit.
Mike Harrnacker, Gig Harbor, WA, USA
The 2.2 litre engine is surely a modern PSA unit not VW Jeremy and better for it?
David Raynes, Bath, UK
The 2.0 VW engine is dumped for a 2.2 PSA one... and the car is also being built is Holland now... in the same factory which built the Volvo 340, 440 and previous S/V 40.
pieter, rural france, France